Let's face it, they use the term Dancing with the "Stars" rather loosely, don't they? Did you see last night's new kickoff to the season?
There was no Len. I am sorry, but I love Len. He is the grumpy dad who keeps everyone else in line and at least the slightest hint that this is about talent and improvement and not just a popularity show. I am skeptical about how this season will go without him.
But there was a Gary Busey. Holy cow! You just know that people are going to vote to keep him around a while for the sheer entertainment value of watching a train wreck in slow motion. His poor dance partner. Lawzy, do I feel bad for her.
And speaking of oh-my-god-what-were-they-thinking casting, did you see Paula Deen? Good lord. She was awful. She also managed to be disgusting by shoving her partner's face into her bosom several times, belching loudly and talking about how her white undies were no longer white. Now who wanted that mental image? And who can't get rid of that image?
The ones who shone and looked like they were enjoying themselves were Crocodile Hunter Daughter Bindi Irwin and Nick Carter of BSB fame.
And for some reason they have a married couple on and had them compete back to back and wait to get their scores at the same time. We get it. It's a competition. We get it. They are married and won't it be great fun to watch the sparks fly while the producers create drama and friction between the duo. I just don't think it's going to be as much fun as the DWTS people think it will.
Did you watch? Do you care about this competition any more?
Showing posts with label news of the weird. Show all posts
Showing posts with label news of the weird. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Friday, September 11, 2015
Recycling, Downsizing and Letting go
Remember the other day when I showed you the KonMari book?
I am trying to implement this in my life. If you know me in real life you may be picking your teeth up and putting them back in your mouth. I KNOW!!! I am a packrat. I love stuff. I have accumulated loads of stuff. I have collections of stuff. Let's face it, I am on my way to being a hoarder.
So I am trying my best to embrace the more minimalist side of myself. The part of me that sees all the stuff as things that weigh me down, that keep me from being the best I can because I am too busy dusting, arranging and finding homes for all my important stuff. It is hard to completely change your mindset, especially when you spent years of your life accumulating. I did recognize years ago that I had a lot of things and made a hard and fast rule that any time I saw something I wanted I had to stop and think of a similar object in my house that I was willing to let go of, be it sweaters or shoes or whatever. Note: this rule has never applied to books. Books are sacred and as such, limitless in the number you can own.
I let things go all the time. And yet, the clutter persists. So I am reading and re-reading the KonMari book up there and falling more in love with the idea of having fewer beloved items that now have air around them, that aren't crammed into a large collection so that this item of beauty can shine all on its own.
And you know what is really strange? Along with minimizing my stuff I am also changing my style of furnishings and things that I want to inhabit my space. I have always been in the Bohemian camp with loads of competing patterns, fabrics, textures, over-stuffed big comfy furniture and the like. Nowadays, my taste is running more towards mid-century modern, Danish 1960s looking things and craftsman/arts & crafts. Where the hell did THIS come from??
I have very slowly over the last 15 years come around to the Small House Movement way of thinking. I love the idea of making great use of the space you have and not building, heating, cooling and walking through long hallways of unusable space.
That's me right now; recycling things that need to go to someone else, downsizing the amount of treasures I want to keep and letting go of all the things that no longer serve me and no longer spark joy in my life.
Holler at me if you need something, I just might have a collection of said item that I would love to gift you.
I am trying to implement this in my life. If you know me in real life you may be picking your teeth up and putting them back in your mouth. I KNOW!!! I am a packrat. I love stuff. I have accumulated loads of stuff. I have collections of stuff. Let's face it, I am on my way to being a hoarder.
So I am trying my best to embrace the more minimalist side of myself. The part of me that sees all the stuff as things that weigh me down, that keep me from being the best I can because I am too busy dusting, arranging and finding homes for all my important stuff. It is hard to completely change your mindset, especially when you spent years of your life accumulating. I did recognize years ago that I had a lot of things and made a hard and fast rule that any time I saw something I wanted I had to stop and think of a similar object in my house that I was willing to let go of, be it sweaters or shoes or whatever. Note: this rule has never applied to books. Books are sacred and as such, limitless in the number you can own.
I let things go all the time. And yet, the clutter persists. So I am reading and re-reading the KonMari book up there and falling more in love with the idea of having fewer beloved items that now have air around them, that aren't crammed into a large collection so that this item of beauty can shine all on its own.
And you know what is really strange? Along with minimizing my stuff I am also changing my style of furnishings and things that I want to inhabit my space. I have always been in the Bohemian camp with loads of competing patterns, fabrics, textures, over-stuffed big comfy furniture and the like. Nowadays, my taste is running more towards mid-century modern, Danish 1960s looking things and craftsman/arts & crafts. Where the hell did THIS come from??
I have very slowly over the last 15 years come around to the Small House Movement way of thinking. I love the idea of making great use of the space you have and not building, heating, cooling and walking through long hallways of unusable space.
That's me right now; recycling things that need to go to someone else, downsizing the amount of treasures I want to keep and letting go of all the things that no longer serve me and no longer spark joy in my life.
Holler at me if you need something, I just might have a collection of said item that I would love to gift you.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Girl, you just won't beLIEVE what happened!
So, I was out to lunch with some friends as you do sometimes. And we went to a new place to check it out. (I am giving it a B for food and a D for service) We were sitting in the back in a semi-private area with a big table as there were quite a few of us. What we didn't know was that when they seated us in the back that they were going to forget about us most of the time. I mean seriously, forget about us. We were parched in between waiting for refills of iced tea.
Anyhoo, we were enjoying our leisurely lunch and then the power went out. POOF! No power. We were next to a bunch of windows so we could see but it's still that weird, creepy feeling with a little anxiety of what is going to happen next. A few minutes later the power came back on and the waitress stuck her head in to see if we were still kicking and said "Did y'all go outside?"
Huh?
"Uh no, we didn't. What are you talking about?"
"Oh, I thought you might have gone outside. When the power blew it was because the two big tall palm trees out front by the street, they just caught on fire. Like spontaneously combusted."
What the fuck???? But what I said was "Well, that's certainly odd behavior for a palm tree."
"Oh yeah, the fire department is out there, the power company is out there and everything."
And again, my brain just kept going "What the fuck is she talking about??"
Then I had the presence of mind to ask whether any cars in the parking lot out front were damaged. She said no, but I didn't trust her judgment. Hell, she didn't even remember we were there half the time. So, we quickly wrapped up the splitting of the bill and headed out front to see what was what.
Here is what we saw:
So the trees weren't actually in the parking lot we were in, they were across the street at the Quizno's (mmm, mmm, mmm, toasty). But if they had fallen into the street they would have certainly been all the way over into our parking area and probably on top of my car.
I tell you, every single day there is a story out there. All you have to do is look. And take a picture or two!!
p.s. Right down from this location is a big intersection. And when I turned onto this street at that intersection when headed to lunch, what did I spy with my little eye? I will tell you what I spied. I spied one of my former doula clients out there panhandling. I was not in a position to get turned around right then to go over there and with the fire and such, after lunch I checked and she was not there. I will head over that direction again in the next few days and see if she is there again and talk to her. I wish I could tell you how sad this makes me. The little frowny emoticon just won't cut it.
Anyhoo, we were enjoying our leisurely lunch and then the power went out. POOF! No power. We were next to a bunch of windows so we could see but it's still that weird, creepy feeling with a little anxiety of what is going to happen next. A few minutes later the power came back on and the waitress stuck her head in to see if we were still kicking and said "Did y'all go outside?"
Huh?
"Uh no, we didn't. What are you talking about?"
"Oh, I thought you might have gone outside. When the power blew it was because the two big tall palm trees out front by the street, they just caught on fire. Like spontaneously combusted."
What the fuck???? But what I said was "Well, that's certainly odd behavior for a palm tree."
"Oh yeah, the fire department is out there, the power company is out there and everything."
And again, my brain just kept going "What the fuck is she talking about??"
Then I had the presence of mind to ask whether any cars in the parking lot out front were damaged. She said no, but I didn't trust her judgment. Hell, she didn't even remember we were there half the time. So, we quickly wrapped up the splitting of the bill and headed out front to see what was what.
Here is what we saw:
 |
| Smoking trees that self-combusted |
 |
| Firetruck blocking traffic from driving directly under combusted trees |
 |
| Methinks the power lines may have played a role in the combustion? |
 |
| the tree on the left is still smoking out the middle near the power lines |
I tell you, every single day there is a story out there. All you have to do is look. And take a picture or two!!
p.s. Right down from this location is a big intersection. And when I turned onto this street at that intersection when headed to lunch, what did I spy with my little eye? I will tell you what I spied. I spied one of my former doula clients out there panhandling. I was not in a position to get turned around right then to go over there and with the fire and such, after lunch I checked and she was not there. I will head over that direction again in the next few days and see if she is there again and talk to her. I wish I could tell you how sad this makes me. The little frowny emoticon just won't cut it.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Priorities?
I was online looking at the headlines for local news.
And if you are like me you might think (and even assume) that these story headlines would be given in order of importance. Much like being above the fold or below, or being on the front page versus inside in the second section.
Here is what I saw:
And if you are like me you might think (and even assume) that these story headlines would be given in order of importance. Much like being above the fold or below, or being on the front page versus inside in the second section.
Here is what I saw:
- FORECAST: Cold front approaching, storm threat tonight
- POLL: Do you approve of gift registries for high school graduation?
- Girl shot in face
*********************************************
Really? Girl shot in face doesn't rate as high as gift registry poll?
We need some standards, people!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Really? Really??
Last year we saw the traveling production of Rock of Ages, the Broadway show based on 1980s heavy metal/hair band music. And it was fun. It was campy fun.
Did you know they are making it into a movie?
Neither did I.
Did you know that it will star Tom Cruise?
Neither did I.
Check out the trailer:
It also stars that cute as a bug little Julianne Hough, Alec Baldwin, and Paul (Pig Vomit) Giamatti and a cast of hundreds.
But Tom Cruise?
I'm sorry, but ewwww. It just seems creepy.
Did you know they are making it into a movie?
Neither did I.
Did you know that it will star Tom Cruise?
Neither did I.
Check out the trailer:
It also stars that cute as a bug little Julianne Hough, Alec Baldwin, and Paul (Pig Vomit) Giamatti and a cast of hundreds.
But Tom Cruise?
I'm sorry, but ewwww. It just seems creepy.
Friday, November 4, 2011
You put what? where? Reeeeally?
Here is the story David Sedaris told us the other night. Now, you and I both know that it was WAAAAYY funnier when he told it, but I will do my best.
It seems 30 years ago a friend of DS told him this story. The friend was dying to go to the bathroom and his father called. So he answered and was talking to his dad.
But he really had to go.
So David Sedaris said to his friend, "so what did you do?"
To which the friend replied, "I shit in my hand." Like it was the most normal thing in the world.
David was shocked and taken aback. But the friend was adament that this was not such a big deal. It was 30 years ago. And we were all tethered to the wall with our phone cords and such.
So years later he is telling this story to a woman friend. And instead of being shocked and taken aback, she says . . . .
"Well, OF COURSE he did! I always shit in my hand. Well, not always, but you know, when I am in a public restroom".
Huh???
"Yes," she went on, "when you are in public you don't want that loud splashy noise going on, so you shit in your hand and then gently drop it in with NO loud splash. Why? Don't you do that?"
*We were all about to fall out of our seats laughing at this story.
Then he goes on to say that he could not believe that everyone shits in their hands and he was the last one to know about this. So when he is on book tours and such and around a lot of people to ask, he now asks people if they shit in their hands. And a couple of days ago he was telling this story and asking someone about their experience with shitting in their hand and the lady behind that person pipes up with this contribution, "Well, if she is concerned about the plopping sounds she should just take a large wad of toilet paper and put it in the toilet first. You know, like a landing pad."
This is one of those stories that no one except David Sedaris, could really tell and have it be hilarious and not disgusting. Or maybe it was hilarious BECAUSE it was so disgusting?
Anyway, I am here to tell you that I have never shit in my hand. If the situation ever arose that I was in a public restroom and worried about making plopping sounds I would rather that strangers overheard the noise than I have a handful of shit. Sorry. But I have drawn a line in the sand on this one!
It seems 30 years ago a friend of DS told him this story. The friend was dying to go to the bathroom and his father called. So he answered and was talking to his dad.
But he really had to go.
So David Sedaris said to his friend, "so what did you do?"
To which the friend replied, "I shit in my hand." Like it was the most normal thing in the world.
David was shocked and taken aback. But the friend was adament that this was not such a big deal. It was 30 years ago. And we were all tethered to the wall with our phone cords and such.
So years later he is telling this story to a woman friend. And instead of being shocked and taken aback, she says . . . .
"Well, OF COURSE he did! I always shit in my hand. Well, not always, but you know, when I am in a public restroom".
Huh???
"Yes," she went on, "when you are in public you don't want that loud splashy noise going on, so you shit in your hand and then gently drop it in with NO loud splash. Why? Don't you do that?"
*We were all about to fall out of our seats laughing at this story.
Then he goes on to say that he could not believe that everyone shits in their hands and he was the last one to know about this. So when he is on book tours and such and around a lot of people to ask, he now asks people if they shit in their hands. And a couple of days ago he was telling this story and asking someone about their experience with shitting in their hand and the lady behind that person pipes up with this contribution, "Well, if she is concerned about the plopping sounds she should just take a large wad of toilet paper and put it in the toilet first. You know, like a landing pad."
This is one of those stories that no one except David Sedaris, could really tell and have it be hilarious and not disgusting. Or maybe it was hilarious BECAUSE it was so disgusting?
Anyway, I am here to tell you that I have never shit in my hand. If the situation ever arose that I was in a public restroom and worried about making plopping sounds I would rather that strangers overheard the noise than I have a handful of shit. Sorry. But I have drawn a line in the sand on this one!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
We're not number 1!
You know how there is always someone compiling lists and statistics about any and every thing you can imagine? Supposedly, my city is the top rated for binge drinking and also for teen pregnancy. You see a connection there? Maybe a little cause and effect?
This morning I was reading news articles online and came across one that lists the top 10 and bottom 10 for the drunkest states in the union. There is a whole lot of numbers that went into this listing, but I am just going to bottom line the 10 Least Drunk states and then the 10 Most Drunk States.
Least Drunk States
10. Ohio with an average of 32.6 gallons per person
9. Alabama with 30.6 total gallons per person
8. West Virginia with 29.3 g.p.p. (shorter to type 20 times)
7. North Carolina also with 29.3 g.p.p.
6. Oklahoma with 28.9 g.p.p.
5. Kansas with 28.7 g.p.p.
4. Tennessee with 28 g.p.p.
3. Arkansas with 26.6 g.p.p. (personally I think having the Dugger clan in ARK skews their numbers)
2. Kentucky with 26.2 g.p.p.
and drumroll, please . . . . . .
1. Utah!!! with 18.9 g.p.p.
That's quite the drop in consumption between number 2 Kentucky and number 1 Utah, wouldn't you say?
Also, I think it bears noting that lots of these non-boozing states are in the south. The south. Where all the good whiskey is made. They make it but they aren't slamming it back. Interesting.
And this brings us to our Top 10 Drunken Booziest States!
10. Colorado with 34.7 g.p.p. (notice this is almost twice what Utah drinks)
9. Alaska with 35.4 g.p.p. (I would have thought it would be higher)
8. Wyoming with 37.6 g.p.p.
7. Delaware with 38.5 g.p.p. (Delaware??? who woulda thunk it?)
6. North Dakota with 39.3 g.p.p.
5. Wisconsin with 39.5 g.p.p. (Hey, it takes a lot of booze to fuel writing The Onion so consistently funny)
4. Montana with 40.1 g.p.p. (another one I am not surprised at. Hell, this state has the Testicle Festival! You pretty much have to be drunk for that one!)
3. District of Columbia with 41.6 g.p.p.
2. Nevada with 46 g.p.p. (Holy Bikinis, Batman! That's a lot of booze!)
and believe it or don't, the number one spot of Drunkest, Booziest State in the Union goes to . . . . . . .
NEW HAMPSHIRE with 48.7 gallons per person.
I will let that sink in for a minute. New Hampshire beat us. One of the teensiest little states beat our big giant drive-for-days-to-get-across Texas. How did your state rank? Did your state rank in the top or bottom 10?
But I bet those NH teens won't beat out our local girls for most teen pregnancies! We'll always (sadly) have that claim to fame.
This morning I was reading news articles online and came across one that lists the top 10 and bottom 10 for the drunkest states in the union. There is a whole lot of numbers that went into this listing, but I am just going to bottom line the 10 Least Drunk states and then the 10 Most Drunk States.
Least Drunk States
10. Ohio with an average of 32.6 gallons per person
9. Alabama with 30.6 total gallons per person
8. West Virginia with 29.3 g.p.p. (shorter to type 20 times)
7. North Carolina also with 29.3 g.p.p.
6. Oklahoma with 28.9 g.p.p.
5. Kansas with 28.7 g.p.p.
4. Tennessee with 28 g.p.p.
3. Arkansas with 26.6 g.p.p. (personally I think having the Dugger clan in ARK skews their numbers)
2. Kentucky with 26.2 g.p.p.
and drumroll, please . . . . . .
1. Utah!!! with 18.9 g.p.p.
That's quite the drop in consumption between number 2 Kentucky and number 1 Utah, wouldn't you say?
Also, I think it bears noting that lots of these non-boozing states are in the south. The south. Where all the good whiskey is made. They make it but they aren't slamming it back. Interesting.
And this brings us to our Top 10 Drunken Booziest States!
10. Colorado with 34.7 g.p.p. (notice this is almost twice what Utah drinks)
9. Alaska with 35.4 g.p.p. (I would have thought it would be higher)
8. Wyoming with 37.6 g.p.p.
7. Delaware with 38.5 g.p.p. (Delaware??? who woulda thunk it?)
6. North Dakota with 39.3 g.p.p.
5. Wisconsin with 39.5 g.p.p. (Hey, it takes a lot of booze to fuel writing The Onion so consistently funny)
4. Montana with 40.1 g.p.p. (another one I am not surprised at. Hell, this state has the Testicle Festival! You pretty much have to be drunk for that one!)
3. District of Columbia with 41.6 g.p.p.
2. Nevada with 46 g.p.p. (Holy Bikinis, Batman! That's a lot of booze!)
and believe it or don't, the number one spot of Drunkest, Booziest State in the Union goes to . . . . . . .
NEW HAMPSHIRE with 48.7 gallons per person.
I will let that sink in for a minute. New Hampshire beat us. One of the teensiest little states beat our big giant drive-for-days-to-get-across Texas. How did your state rank? Did your state rank in the top or bottom 10?
But I bet those NH teens won't beat out our local girls for most teen pregnancies! We'll always (sadly) have that claim to fame.
Monday, September 19, 2011
TLC can bite me. And they need to change their name!
*Warning, ranting ahead. Read at your own risk*
You know how at the end of Real Time each week, Bill Maher reads his list of New Rules?
I LOVE THAT! I WANT TO DO THAT, TOO!
Today's new rule:
TLC (which stands for The Learning Channel) must change their name. If they have to keep TLC as their call letters, then I propose the following:
Totally Lame Channel
or possibly
Tabloid Leering Cameras
Seriously! What gives? This channel started out as The Learning Channel and had some decent programming back in the day. Watching it now? Will cause brain rot. It's totally voyeuristic crap.
Does anyone care about Michelle & Jim Bob and their herd?
How about all those shows about little people?
Toddlers & Tiaras? (which I heard described as the training grounds to get on MTV's 16 & Pregnant)
What about the miriad of Say Yes to the Dress shows? Learn anything from that show?
Or the highly educational Sister Wives?
Ooohh! What about those Extreme Couponing weirdos?
I am sorry but, this whole damn network has gone straight in the toilet. They should be ashamed of what they put out in the name of Learning.
And that is my rant for the day.
p.s. It is also National Talk Like a Pirate Day! So get your Pirate name and wear a patch and say "Aaarrgh" in front of all your sentences. Have fun out there!
You know how at the end of Real Time each week, Bill Maher reads his list of New Rules?
I LOVE THAT! I WANT TO DO THAT, TOO!
Today's new rule:
TLC (which stands for The Learning Channel) must change their name. If they have to keep TLC as their call letters, then I propose the following:
Totally Lame Channel
or possibly
Tabloid Leering Cameras
Seriously! What gives? This channel started out as The Learning Channel and had some decent programming back in the day. Watching it now? Will cause brain rot. It's totally voyeuristic crap.
Does anyone care about Michelle & Jim Bob and their herd?
How about all those shows about little people?
Toddlers & Tiaras? (which I heard described as the training grounds to get on MTV's 16 & Pregnant)
What about the miriad of Say Yes to the Dress shows? Learn anything from that show?
Or the highly educational Sister Wives?
Ooohh! What about those Extreme Couponing weirdos?
I am sorry but, this whole damn network has gone straight in the toilet. They should be ashamed of what they put out in the name of Learning.
And that is my rant for the day.
p.s. It is also National Talk Like a Pirate Day! So get your Pirate name and wear a patch and say "Aaarrgh" in front of all your sentences. Have fun out there!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
When you gotta go, well, you gotta go!
Reading the news this morning online and in between all the important and urgent life-changing articles is one that I HAD to click on.
Was it about the Republicans and the whole passel (passle, pasell? how do you spell passel?) of wieners they are trotting out as possible Presidential candidates?
Nope.
Was it about Big Tobacco and lobbyists?
Nope again.
It wasn't even the one about the Real Housewives of whatever and the husband of one of them committing suicide. (I read that one yesterday)
No, the must-see article was about Gerard Depardieu.
Remember him? This is a photo of him before he got older, fatter, and not just fatter but rather bloated looking. Nowadays he looks more like this.
Anyhoo, the article was not about how much larger Mr. Depardieu can continue to get, but this:
Seems that he was on an Air France flight that was delayed. And we all know how much fun THAT can be. So they have hundreds of you crammed in to a small space and making you sit there and wait. And while you wait they ply you with drinks to keep your mind off the fact that you are sitting in a sausage-shaped tin can waiting. Waiting and breathing recycled air.
After a good amount of waiting and an even larger amount of libations have been served the flight finally takes off and the good Mr. Depardieu needed to go relieve himself. Which is exactly the position I would find myself in. And being a 62 year old man who hasn't had to ask permission to go pee for the past, oh say, 61 years, he attempted to get up and go to the toilet.
The air hostess/bar maid/stewardess person told him the plane was still climbing to cruising altitude and he would have to sit back down. He tried to explain his predicament and was told essentially "tough shit. go sit down for 15 more minutes".
And being the grown-ass allegedly drunk Frenchman he is, he took that news in the manner you might think.
He unzipped, whipped it out and proceeded to piss on the carpet of the main cabin of the plane.
Really? Can you imagine yourself in such a position? What would you do? I mean, really, if you have to go, what are your choices? My guess is that he and his 62 year old prostate could not physically wait another 15 minutes.
The article does not say whether the authorities were called upon landing, or if he was charged with anything. If it had been a US airline, you can guaran-damn-tee there would have been hell to pay. Stupid Southwest has kicked people off for wearing short skirts. Imagine what they would have done if someone had shown their schlong!
While I don't agree with pissing in public and then the rest of the people having to smell it the whole damn flight, there has to be a better solution. If the airlines are going to shove liquid refreshments at us to keep us still and happy they have to know it is going to have to come out and be prepared for the consequences. It takes forever for them to get the carts up and down the aisle to serve the whole plane something and by the time they get to the end of the plane, those in the front are already getting antsy and wanting to get up to relieve themselves.
It's a sticky situation.
Bahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Sorry, I just had to say that!
Was it about the Republicans and the whole passel (passle, pasell? how do you spell passel?) of wieners they are trotting out as possible Presidential candidates?
Nope.
Was it about Big Tobacco and lobbyists?
Nope again.
It wasn't even the one about the Real Housewives of whatever and the husband of one of them committing suicide. (I read that one yesterday)
No, the must-see article was about Gerard Depardieu.
Remember him? This is a photo of him before he got older, fatter, and not just fatter but rather bloated looking. Nowadays he looks more like this.
Anyhoo, the article was not about how much larger Mr. Depardieu can continue to get, but this:
Seems that he was on an Air France flight that was delayed. And we all know how much fun THAT can be. So they have hundreds of you crammed in to a small space and making you sit there and wait. And while you wait they ply you with drinks to keep your mind off the fact that you are sitting in a sausage-shaped tin can waiting. Waiting and breathing recycled air.
After a good amount of waiting and an even larger amount of libations have been served the flight finally takes off and the good Mr. Depardieu needed to go relieve himself. Which is exactly the position I would find myself in. And being a 62 year old man who hasn't had to ask permission to go pee for the past, oh say, 61 years, he attempted to get up and go to the toilet.
The air hostess/bar maid/stewardess person told him the plane was still climbing to cruising altitude and he would have to sit back down. He tried to explain his predicament and was told essentially "tough shit. go sit down for 15 more minutes".
And being the grown-ass allegedly drunk Frenchman he is, he took that news in the manner you might think.
He unzipped, whipped it out and proceeded to piss on the carpet of the main cabin of the plane.
Really? Can you imagine yourself in such a position? What would you do? I mean, really, if you have to go, what are your choices? My guess is that he and his 62 year old prostate could not physically wait another 15 minutes.
The article does not say whether the authorities were called upon landing, or if he was charged with anything. If it had been a US airline, you can guaran-damn-tee there would have been hell to pay. Stupid Southwest has kicked people off for wearing short skirts. Imagine what they would have done if someone had shown their schlong!
While I don't agree with pissing in public and then the rest of the people having to smell it the whole damn flight, there has to be a better solution. If the airlines are going to shove liquid refreshments at us to keep us still and happy they have to know it is going to have to come out and be prepared for the consequences. It takes forever for them to get the carts up and down the aisle to serve the whole plane something and by the time they get to the end of the plane, those in the front are already getting antsy and wanting to get up to relieve themselves.
It's a sticky situation.
Bahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Sorry, I just had to say that!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Is he still a Rhinestone Cowboy?
In other news, it was announced today that Glenn Campbell has Alzheimer's disease.
Here's what his wife had to say:
Campbell and his wife Kim have now gone public with the diagnosis ahead of a number of planned retirement shows later this year, revealing they don't want fans to worry if he forgets his lines.
Kim tells People magazine, "Glen is still an awesome guitar player and singer. But if he flubs a lyric or gets confused on stage, I wouldn't want people to think, 'What's the matter with him? Is he drunk?'"
Okay, I totally get the full disclosure so that he gets the most support and understanding while on tour, what I don't get is why they are trotting out a 75 year old guy with Alzheimer's for people to look at.
This just seems sad and wrong and voyeuristic on so many levels.
And I am sorry, but my brain is coming up with all kinds of jokes that are in really poor taste about this situation. I won't tell you, because really? That's just mean to go there.
He was really talented and so popular back in the day. Here is a little trip down Glen Campbell memory lane.
See there? That's a pretty handsome young man from Arkansas! And look at the next one. He knew Elvis!
And he was in True Grit with John Wayne.
He was singing about the Wichita Lineman.
And unlike Kenny Rogers who went out and got himself a new face, Glen Campbell aged just like a man of his life experience and years of hard partying should. Nothing wrong with that.
And then this happened. But I think this HAD to happen in order for him to get himself straight and sober and in touch with his personal Higher Power.
But he will always look like this to me. And he will be singing Gentle on my Mind.
Here's what his wife had to say:
Campbell and his wife Kim have now gone public with the diagnosis ahead of a number of planned retirement shows later this year, revealing they don't want fans to worry if he forgets his lines.
Kim tells People magazine, "Glen is still an awesome guitar player and singer. But if he flubs a lyric or gets confused on stage, I wouldn't want people to think, 'What's the matter with him? Is he drunk?'"
Okay, I totally get the full disclosure so that he gets the most support and understanding while on tour, what I don't get is why they are trotting out a 75 year old guy with Alzheimer's for people to look at.
This just seems sad and wrong and voyeuristic on so many levels.
And I am sorry, but my brain is coming up with all kinds of jokes that are in really poor taste about this situation. I won't tell you, because really? That's just mean to go there.
He was really talented and so popular back in the day. Here is a little trip down Glen Campbell memory lane.
See there? That's a pretty handsome young man from Arkansas! And look at the next one. He knew Elvis!
And he was in True Grit with John Wayne.
He was singing about the Wichita Lineman.
And unlike Kenny Rogers who went out and got himself a new face, Glen Campbell aged just like a man of his life experience and years of hard partying should. Nothing wrong with that.
And then this happened. But I think this HAD to happen in order for him to get himself straight and sober and in touch with his personal Higher Power.
But he will always look like this to me. And he will be singing Gentle on my Mind.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Day 3 Plastic No More
Here it is Day 3 of the Plastic No More Challenge. I have done a really good job of limiting or eliminating plastic coming in to my home so far. Here's the lowdown on how I have fared.
1. I haven't had to grocery shop yet. So that is good.
2. I have dedicated a small bucket to collect any plastic that I do end up with and will take pics of it so you can see what I am dealing with. For example, the first thing to go in the bucket is the plastic pull strip from around the top of the frozen juice concentrate paper can thing. The paper gets composted, leaving just the tear strip and the two metal ends to dispose of.
3. When we run out of frozen juice to use, I am buying a bag of oranges and setting them and the juicer out on the counter. You want juice? Cut yourself 2 oranges and squeeze them. Now, wasn't that fast and easy! Not to mention, good tasting and better for you.
4. I am going to have to go back to making my own laundry detergent when I run out of the liquid we currently have. The borax and the washing soda are in paper board cartons but the soap to grate is in a clear plastic wrapper. Alternatively, I can buy a box of Tide powder, but it comes with a plastic scoop inside. Either way, there will be a bit of plastic to go in the bucket.
5. When we run out of milk, I will have to decide which is the lesser of the evils.
A. Gallon of milk in a plastic jug, cheaper cost-wise.
B. Half gallons in the waxed paper cartons, but they have a plastic spigot and cap.
C. Tetra-pak liters that are completely non-recyclable and still have a plastic top.
D. Can of evaporated milk and dilute it. Cost-wise this isn't bad, but taste-wise? Gaaahhgg!
E. Box of powdered milk. I like the Nido milk from Mexico that is whole milk rather than the non-fat kind they sell here in the U.S. It comes in a metal can with a metal top. So this might be the way to go. I am the only one who drinks milk or puts it on cereal, so I am just pleasing myself anyway.
****Ding ding ding!!! We might have a winner on this deal!
6. Yesterday I bought 6 books in Japanese from my local used book store to gift my nephew who is studying Japanese in college. And before my brain had kicked into gear I was out the door with all those books in a damn plastic bag. Grrrrr.
I am blaming the lady who was in line behind me. She distracted me by being a wiener and being wrong. Here's what happened: She walked in whilst I was at the check-out counter having the guy look up the ISBN number of all these Japanese books to make sure they were in fact Japanese and not Chinese. Also to make sure they weren't porn or something I didn't want to be gifting my nephew. So the lady walks in and looks all impatient and stands there with a paper. The dude working there looks up from the computer and says to her, "I'll be right with you."
She says "I am looking for books by (consults her paper) Maud Lucy Montgomery"
He says "Who????"
I butt in and said "She wrote the Anne of Green Gable series. They should be in young teenager section back there" and pointed in the right direction.
Then I said "I believe her name is Lucy Maud Montgomery, in case you can't find it the way you have it".
She looked me straight in the eye and said "No. Her name was Maud. She just went by LUCY!"
Okaay.
Which is what I said to her. And then went back to my business of making sure I had Japanese and not Chinese and not porn.
So see what I mean about being flustered when I grabbed my bag and left?
Anyhoo, get this. I went next door to the Bubble Tea place and met up with the rest of my group and we decided to head over to Goodwill. So I go and put my books in the car and backed out of my parking space and was headed up the aisle of the parking lot when the same lady was coming towards me in her car waved me down. I rolled down my window and she said, "I found what I was looking for. And I wanted to apologize for correcting you. You were right."
Awwww. Wasn't that nice? Most people would never bother to do that. Afterwards I said to myself, I should have apologized to her for butting my fat nose into her business in the first place.
I get to Goodwill and what did I find? A 20th Anniversary edition of Trivial Pursuit in very good, damn near brand-new condition. That's what I found!
In case you don't know this about me, I love games. And I love, love, love Trivial Pursuit games. And I don't have this edition. And it was marked 1.99.
Who do you think got herself a new Trivial Pursuit game? And who do you think played the game with Sparky last night and WON?
And who do you think remembered to tell the GW clerk to keep her plastic bag and carried her own game out in her own little hands?
Have a great plastic-free day!
Count so far:
Plastic - 2 items
1. I haven't had to grocery shop yet. So that is good.
2. I have dedicated a small bucket to collect any plastic that I do end up with and will take pics of it so you can see what I am dealing with. For example, the first thing to go in the bucket is the plastic pull strip from around the top of the frozen juice concentrate paper can thing. The paper gets composted, leaving just the tear strip and the two metal ends to dispose of.
3. When we run out of frozen juice to use, I am buying a bag of oranges and setting them and the juicer out on the counter. You want juice? Cut yourself 2 oranges and squeeze them. Now, wasn't that fast and easy! Not to mention, good tasting and better for you.
4. I am going to have to go back to making my own laundry detergent when I run out of the liquid we currently have. The borax and the washing soda are in paper board cartons but the soap to grate is in a clear plastic wrapper. Alternatively, I can buy a box of Tide powder, but it comes with a plastic scoop inside. Either way, there will be a bit of plastic to go in the bucket.
5. When we run out of milk, I will have to decide which is the lesser of the evils.
A. Gallon of milk in a plastic jug, cheaper cost-wise.
B. Half gallons in the waxed paper cartons, but they have a plastic spigot and cap.
C. Tetra-pak liters that are completely non-recyclable and still have a plastic top.
D. Can of evaporated milk and dilute it. Cost-wise this isn't bad, but taste-wise? Gaaahhgg!
E. Box of powdered milk. I like the Nido milk from Mexico that is whole milk rather than the non-fat kind they sell here in the U.S. It comes in a metal can with a metal top. So this might be the way to go. I am the only one who drinks milk or puts it on cereal, so I am just pleasing myself anyway.
****Ding ding ding!!! We might have a winner on this deal!
6. Yesterday I bought 6 books in Japanese from my local used book store to gift my nephew who is studying Japanese in college. And before my brain had kicked into gear I was out the door with all those books in a damn plastic bag. Grrrrr.
I am blaming the lady who was in line behind me. She distracted me by being a wiener and being wrong. Here's what happened: She walked in whilst I was at the check-out counter having the guy look up the ISBN number of all these Japanese books to make sure they were in fact Japanese and not Chinese. Also to make sure they weren't porn or something I didn't want to be gifting my nephew. So the lady walks in and looks all impatient and stands there with a paper. The dude working there looks up from the computer and says to her, "I'll be right with you."
She says "I am looking for books by (consults her paper) Maud Lucy Montgomery"
He says "Who????"
I butt in and said "She wrote the Anne of Green Gable series. They should be in young teenager section back there" and pointed in the right direction.
Then I said "I believe her name is Lucy Maud Montgomery, in case you can't find it the way you have it".
She looked me straight in the eye and said "No. Her name was Maud. She just went by LUCY!"
Okaay.
Which is what I said to her. And then went back to my business of making sure I had Japanese and not Chinese and not porn.
So see what I mean about being flustered when I grabbed my bag and left?
Anyhoo, get this. I went next door to the Bubble Tea place and met up with the rest of my group and we decided to head over to Goodwill. So I go and put my books in the car and backed out of my parking space and was headed up the aisle of the parking lot when the same lady was coming towards me in her car waved me down. I rolled down my window and she said, "I found what I was looking for. And I wanted to apologize for correcting you. You were right."
Awwww. Wasn't that nice? Most people would never bother to do that. Afterwards I said to myself, I should have apologized to her for butting my fat nose into her business in the first place.
I get to Goodwill and what did I find? A 20th Anniversary edition of Trivial Pursuit in very good, damn near brand-new condition. That's what I found!
In case you don't know this about me, I love games. And I love, love, love Trivial Pursuit games. And I don't have this edition. And it was marked 1.99.
Who do you think got herself a new Trivial Pursuit game? And who do you think played the game with Sparky last night and WON?
And who do you think remembered to tell the GW clerk to keep her plastic bag and carried her own game out in her own little hands?
Have a great plastic-free day!
Count so far:
Plastic - 2 items
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
My Obsession, Part II
Who else is completely bonkers enough to spend every waking moment glued to the Casey Anthony trial? Anyone?
Just me?
I am positive that is not the case. There are at least 10,000 people on the message boards of the live feed I am watching.
My observations so far:
1. Casey's hair has grown like a foot or more in the time she has been in jail.
2. This is the slowest moving trial EVER!
3. Her lawyer is a complete wiener. She should demand a new one and get a refund on anything he has been paid. If the jury is influenced at all on legal skillz, she is sunk. This guy has none. Sometimes it seems he is making the prosecution's case for them.
4. It was heartbreaking to watch her mom on the stand. For 3 long days. It was just heartbreaking. She wants to protect her child, but the truth and the evidence is certainly going the other direction.
5. Have I mentioned that everything seems to take forever? This is the first trial I have watched on t.v. since the O.J. trial and I had no idea that they now have laptops every two feet in a courtroom. You can't move an inch without tripping over a laptop. All the evidence is submitted on a laptop. You know all the pictures and huge big blown up floor plans and stuff they used to stick up on an easel and use a pointer to demonstrate where everything is? Now they are on a laptop.
And what happens is this:
Attorney: "Sir, we would like to bring up Prosecution exhibit ML"
(hum de dum, hum de dum de dum, twiddle your thumbs for five minutes while someone figures out how to show that exhibit to the witness and the judge)
Judge: (whose name is Belvin, which I love! What do you suppose his family calls him for short?) "Defense, any objections?"
(wait and twiddle some more while we hear mumble mumble from the defense table)
Judge: "Go ahead and place this into evidence"
Attorney: addressing witness "Do you see what is in exhibit ML?"
Witness: "Yes"
Attorney: "Can you tell us if it is a true and accurate representation of (whatever it is) on or about the day of July 15, 2008?"
Witness: "Yes"
Attorney: "Judge, can we publish this exhibit ML to the jury?"
Judge Belvin: "Yes you may"
(wait and twiddle a bunch more while they figure out how to publish Exhibit ML over to the laptop the jury sees) Now I don't know if each juror has their own laptop or just one for all of them because they are very careful to not show any of the jurors on the camera.
Anyhoo, this goes on and on for H O U R S! Then someone asks to take a break. And they break for 15 minutes, or an hour and a half, or whatever. Then some dickhead attorney will object to something and demand a sidebar and they all scurry over and huddle up and sidebar about where they are all going for happy hour or whether the Miami Heat can beat the Dallas Mavericks, or whatever the hell it is that they have to sidebar about multiple times a day. It is sssss llllll ooooooo wwwwwwww going, is what it is.
and last but not least:
6. Casey is one stone-faced young woman. She is hard as nails. I don't know what the deal is with her not showing any emotions at all, but I can't believe it can work in her favor to look callous and like you just don't give a shit.
That is my recap of the trial thus far. Please stay tuned for more!
Let me hear from you regarding this case. What do you think?
Just me?
I am positive that is not the case. There are at least 10,000 people on the message boards of the live feed I am watching.
My observations so far:
1. Casey's hair has grown like a foot or more in the time she has been in jail.
2. This is the slowest moving trial EVER!
3. Her lawyer is a complete wiener. She should demand a new one and get a refund on anything he has been paid. If the jury is influenced at all on legal skillz, she is sunk. This guy has none. Sometimes it seems he is making the prosecution's case for them.
4. It was heartbreaking to watch her mom on the stand. For 3 long days. It was just heartbreaking. She wants to protect her child, but the truth and the evidence is certainly going the other direction.
5. Have I mentioned that everything seems to take forever? This is the first trial I have watched on t.v. since the O.J. trial and I had no idea that they now have laptops every two feet in a courtroom. You can't move an inch without tripping over a laptop. All the evidence is submitted on a laptop. You know all the pictures and huge big blown up floor plans and stuff they used to stick up on an easel and use a pointer to demonstrate where everything is? Now they are on a laptop.
And what happens is this:
Attorney: "Sir, we would like to bring up Prosecution exhibit ML"
(hum de dum, hum de dum de dum, twiddle your thumbs for five minutes while someone figures out how to show that exhibit to the witness and the judge)
Judge: (whose name is Belvin, which I love! What do you suppose his family calls him for short?) "Defense, any objections?"
(wait and twiddle some more while we hear mumble mumble from the defense table)
Judge: "Go ahead and place this into evidence"
Attorney: addressing witness "Do you see what is in exhibit ML?"
Witness: "Yes"
Attorney: "Can you tell us if it is a true and accurate representation of (whatever it is) on or about the day of July 15, 2008?"
Witness: "Yes"
Attorney: "Judge, can we publish this exhibit ML to the jury?"
Judge Belvin: "Yes you may"
(wait and twiddle a bunch more while they figure out how to publish Exhibit ML over to the laptop the jury sees) Now I don't know if each juror has their own laptop or just one for all of them because they are very careful to not show any of the jurors on the camera.
Anyhoo, this goes on and on for H O U R S! Then someone asks to take a break. And they break for 15 minutes, or an hour and a half, or whatever. Then some dickhead attorney will object to something and demand a sidebar and they all scurry over and huddle up and sidebar about where they are all going for happy hour or whether the Miami Heat can beat the Dallas Mavericks, or whatever the hell it is that they have to sidebar about multiple times a day. It is sssss llllll ooooooo wwwwwwww going, is what it is.
and last but not least:
6. Casey is one stone-faced young woman. She is hard as nails. I don't know what the deal is with her not showing any emotions at all, but I can't believe it can work in her favor to look callous and like you just don't give a shit.
That is my recap of the trial thus far. Please stay tuned for more!
Let me hear from you regarding this case. What do you think?
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Seriously?
You know how I feel about stupid people being allowed to not only NAME their kids ridiculous names, but also RAISE them! Arg, it just drives me nuts. These cute little babies are not extensions of your idiot selves, but human beings who are going to grow up and hate your ass for saddling them with horrible names.
So I have two new stories about dumb asses naming babies. The other day we were at the big graduation and we are following along in the printed program and reading all the names (and secretly guesstimating how much longer we are going to be sitting and not eating since we were all starving!). And word got passed around in our group to look on page 55. Left column.
I don't recall the middle or surname, but the first name was a doozy.
Are you ready?
Aquanetta.
Just like that. Aquanetta. All one word. Of course by then she had long since crossed the stage so we didn't get to see Aquanetta and decide whether or not her name fit her. Heeeee! My guess is that if I have gone 50 years and never before seen an Aquanetta before, I may never see another one. So it was my loss.
And now you need to check out this link. These people should be beaten about their heads and shoulders for doing this to a small child.
Go ahead, click over and read. It's short and I will wait.
chirp, chirp, chirp. Just waiting and whistling over here.
Are you back? Can you believe people are that strange?
Me neither.
Over here at Chez Lisa Pie I name only the pets with interesting names. I figure they don't really give a shit. But my human children? They got what I consider to be beautiful timeless Biblical names. I didn't want my kids to grow up and hate me, thank you very much.
So I have two new stories about dumb asses naming babies. The other day we were at the big graduation and we are following along in the printed program and reading all the names (and secretly guesstimating how much longer we are going to be sitting and not eating since we were all starving!). And word got passed around in our group to look on page 55. Left column.
I don't recall the middle or surname, but the first name was a doozy.
Are you ready?
Aquanetta.
Just like that. Aquanetta. All one word. Of course by then she had long since crossed the stage so we didn't get to see Aquanetta and decide whether or not her name fit her. Heeeee! My guess is that if I have gone 50 years and never before seen an Aquanetta before, I may never see another one. So it was my loss.
And now you need to check out this link. These people should be beaten about their heads and shoulders for doing this to a small child.
Go ahead, click over and read. It's short and I will wait.
chirp, chirp, chirp. Just waiting and whistling over here.
Are you back? Can you believe people are that strange?
Me neither.
Over here at Chez Lisa Pie I name only the pets with interesting names. I figure they don't really give a shit. But my human children? They got what I consider to be beautiful timeless Biblical names. I didn't want my kids to grow up and hate me, thank you very much.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Can you guess what this is?
For some reason I am drawn to news of the weird.
Look at this picture and tell me what you see:
Go ahead, I'll wait.
So, what did you think? Plain, beige, boring little house in Wales? If so, that's what the owners thought too.
But then others have been looking at it with a different frame of reference.
Notice the slanting roofline?
Notice the little bit above the door?
There are idiots who are lining up to take pictures of this house because they think it looks like Hitler.
Slanting roof = weird hair parted on the side and slicked down
Upper windows = eyeballs
Thing above the door = nose & moustache
I stand by my assertion that people are dumbasses.
Look at this picture and tell me what you see:
Go ahead, I'll wait.
So, what did you think? Plain, beige, boring little house in Wales? If so, that's what the owners thought too.
But then others have been looking at it with a different frame of reference.
Notice the slanting roofline?
Notice the little bit above the door?
There are idiots who are lining up to take pictures of this house because they think it looks like Hitler.
Slanting roof = weird hair parted on the side and slicked down
Upper windows = eyeballs
Thing above the door = nose & moustache
I stand by my assertion that people are dumbasses.
Friday, March 18, 2011
St. Patrick
Yesterday we celebrated St. Patrick's Day with the usual Irish beer, corned beef and cabbage (which was excellent, by the by) and the wearing o'the green. And I asked myself "Self, what does any of this have to with St. Patrick???"
And I had no answer to that question.
But! I do have a book on the Lives of the Saints. So, I proceeded to look up the Irish Saint and read about him and his life. Let me share with you what I gleaned from it.
He was born in either Ireland, Scotland or Wales. There is dispute about that. His father, the deacon Calpurnius, (you will notice the father has a Roman name. He was some sort of muckity-muck from Rome sent to oversee these heathen Irish) had a farm beside the sea. About 404 a.d. it was pillaged by pirates (aarrrggh) who carried off Patrick, aged sixteen. They sold him to an islander who employed him for six years in tending his flocks, after which Patrick fled and returned to his parents.
In a dream he had a vision that caused him to devote himself to the evangelization of Ireland, still in idolatry. So he crossed the sea, stayed with the monks of Le`rins, then went to Auxerre where, from 415 to 432 he was at the school of the bishops St. Amator and St. Germain.
**(So he left being a pagan Irish farmer to follow his dream of being a French-trained Roman Catholic bishop). Then it goes on to explain how after being freed from Roman domination, the Irish were ruled by a host of minor kings. And it was towards these kings that Patrick directed his "zeal" on arriving back in the country. Wielding absolute power, the kings' religion was their subjects' religion. And since they owned all the land, they alone controlled the building of churches. And the story of the evangelization of Ireland is almost entirely written in terms of the conversions made by St. Patrick among the heads of the clans and families.
There are many legends about St. Patrick but the main idea expressed by all of them is the extreme veneration of the Irish people for the apostle who made them Christians. One of the stories is how he used the Irish shamrock to show the trinity as the three parts in one whole.
** There is no mention of the pagans who were perfectly happy in their paganism being forced to convert. And typically that conversion meant "convert or die". Sorry, I meant to just relate the information and not put my own sensibilities in there, but I just can't abide the whole "oh, my particular brand of religion is the true faith, and unless you convert, you are totally less-than and just not getting in to the Really Good Heaven with us".
And then I googled images of St. Patrick to get a look at who people are venerating. Here's what I found.
Thus endeth today's lesson.
Go in peace.
And I had no answer to that question.
But! I do have a book on the Lives of the Saints. So, I proceeded to look up the Irish Saint and read about him and his life. Let me share with you what I gleaned from it.
He was born in either Ireland, Scotland or Wales. There is dispute about that. His father, the deacon Calpurnius, (you will notice the father has a Roman name. He was some sort of muckity-muck from Rome sent to oversee these heathen Irish) had a farm beside the sea. About 404 a.d. it was pillaged by pirates (aarrrggh) who carried off Patrick, aged sixteen. They sold him to an islander who employed him for six years in tending his flocks, after which Patrick fled and returned to his parents.
In a dream he had a vision that caused him to devote himself to the evangelization of Ireland, still in idolatry. So he crossed the sea, stayed with the monks of Le`rins, then went to Auxerre where, from 415 to 432 he was at the school of the bishops St. Amator and St. Germain.
**(So he left being a pagan Irish farmer to follow his dream of being a French-trained Roman Catholic bishop). Then it goes on to explain how after being freed from Roman domination, the Irish were ruled by a host of minor kings. And it was towards these kings that Patrick directed his "zeal" on arriving back in the country. Wielding absolute power, the kings' religion was their subjects' religion. And since they owned all the land, they alone controlled the building of churches. And the story of the evangelization of Ireland is almost entirely written in terms of the conversions made by St. Patrick among the heads of the clans and families.
There are many legends about St. Patrick but the main idea expressed by all of them is the extreme veneration of the Irish people for the apostle who made them Christians. One of the stories is how he used the Irish shamrock to show the trinity as the three parts in one whole.
** There is no mention of the pagans who were perfectly happy in their paganism being forced to convert. And typically that conversion meant "convert or die". Sorry, I meant to just relate the information and not put my own sensibilities in there, but I just can't abide the whole "oh, my particular brand of religion is the true faith, and unless you convert, you are totally less-than and just not getting in to the Really Good Heaven with us".
And then I googled images of St. Patrick to get a look at who people are venerating. Here's what I found.
Thus endeth today's lesson.
Go in peace.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
You Have to see this!
Ok, if you get the IFC channel you have to be watching this series called Portlandia.
Here is a video that is part of one of the episodes.
This is some of the most hilarious shit e. ver. put on t.v.
Personally I think they could substitute Madison, Boulder or Austin for Portland and the only difference would be the weather.
I swear you will crack right up. There are some great guest stars in each episode as well. So far they have only done the original six episodes. I sure hope there is more to come!
Would I steer you wrong?
Here is a video that is part of one of the episodes.
This is some of the most hilarious shit e. ver. put on t.v.
Personally I think they could substitute Madison, Boulder or Austin for Portland and the only difference would be the weather.
I swear you will crack right up. There are some great guest stars in each episode as well. So far they have only done the original six episodes. I sure hope there is more to come!
Would I steer you wrong?
Friday, December 3, 2010
Another O.M.G. moment and then an Awwwww . . .
I know, those of you who aren't reality t.v. show nuts like me, or birth junkies like me probably don't care about the exploits of the 16 and Pregnant girls. But bear with me on this one.
In the original 16 and Pregnant series there were a few stand-outs that made the cut for the follow-up Teen Mom series. They included Catelynn and her fiance' Tyler, and Amber and her sometimes boyfriend/sometimes fiance'/sometimes punching bag Gary.
After the series aired it showed Amber repeatedly hitting and smacking the shit out of Gary and he never once fought back. It was really hard to watch. Especially since little Leah their now one year old daughter was right there to witness it all. This relationship is a trainwreck through and through. Neither are mature enough and she is one of the most self-centered people on the planet. Poor little Leah will have lots of documentation to take to therapy with her when she is older. Anyhoo, the city they live in finally got off their asses and filed charges against Amber and removed Leah from her care while this was going on. I would imagine anger management classes were ordered. Leah was living with Gary in the meantime. It recently came out in the news that Amber has custody reinstated and Leah is now back home with her. And what better way to mark the occasion than this:
I am sure this will be lovely the next time she is pregnant. And by the by? Leah is way cuter than that tattoo photo makes her out to be.
The next bit of news on the Teen Mom front is this: Catelynn and Tyler were the only couple who chose adoption for their baby. It's a fairly open adoption in that they receive regular photos, letters and updates from the adoptive parents. They also send gifts and were invited to come and spend a weekend for baby Carly's first birthday. Catelynn and Tyler are so well-grounded and do not engage in lots of teen angst and drama. Which is a miracle when you see their background and family trees. Tyler's dad, Butch, spent most of Tyler's life in prison. He sports a really long salt-and-pepper mullet and a trucker hat. When he got out of prison a few years ago the first thing he did was to go and marry Catelynn's MOM!!! Catelynn and Tyler are really the smartest ones not only in their families but on the whole damn series.
Here is an article about them with a photo and yes, those are braces on Catelynn's teeth. She is managing to keep up with her orthodontia through all this. Oh! And when they went to see Carly for her birthday, they brought the most amazing photo/scrap book they had made for her with photos and little memorabilia from each of them throughout their lives. It was the sweetest most tear-jerking moment on reality t.v. That little girl is going to treasure it all her life.
When Catelynn gave birth to Carly the adoptive mom came and gave her a beautiful silver bracelet with a heart on it. She had gotten one for herself, one for Catelynn and one for Carly to wear when she is bigger, as a symbol of how connected the 3 of them are and always will be. I about fell out of my chair crying over that one. They chose really good adoptive parents for that baby.
That's it. Have a great weekend and don't let all the shopping, decorating, baking, wrapping get you down. Take a deep breath and just relax.
In the original 16 and Pregnant series there were a few stand-outs that made the cut for the follow-up Teen Mom series. They included Catelynn and her fiance' Tyler, and Amber and her sometimes boyfriend/sometimes fiance'/sometimes punching bag Gary.
After the series aired it showed Amber repeatedly hitting and smacking the shit out of Gary and he never once fought back. It was really hard to watch. Especially since little Leah their now one year old daughter was right there to witness it all. This relationship is a trainwreck through and through. Neither are mature enough and she is one of the most self-centered people on the planet. Poor little Leah will have lots of documentation to take to therapy with her when she is older. Anyhoo, the city they live in finally got off their asses and filed charges against Amber and removed Leah from her care while this was going on. I would imagine anger management classes were ordered. Leah was living with Gary in the meantime. It recently came out in the news that Amber has custody reinstated and Leah is now back home with her. And what better way to mark the occasion than this:
I am sure this will be lovely the next time she is pregnant. And by the by? Leah is way cuter than that tattoo photo makes her out to be.
The next bit of news on the Teen Mom front is this: Catelynn and Tyler were the only couple who chose adoption for their baby. It's a fairly open adoption in that they receive regular photos, letters and updates from the adoptive parents. They also send gifts and were invited to come and spend a weekend for baby Carly's first birthday. Catelynn and Tyler are so well-grounded and do not engage in lots of teen angst and drama. Which is a miracle when you see their background and family trees. Tyler's dad, Butch, spent most of Tyler's life in prison. He sports a really long salt-and-pepper mullet and a trucker hat. When he got out of prison a few years ago the first thing he did was to go and marry Catelynn's MOM!!! Catelynn and Tyler are really the smartest ones not only in their families but on the whole damn series.
Here is an article about them with a photo and yes, those are braces on Catelynn's teeth. She is managing to keep up with her orthodontia through all this. Oh! And when they went to see Carly for her birthday, they brought the most amazing photo/scrap book they had made for her with photos and little memorabilia from each of them throughout their lives. It was the sweetest most tear-jerking moment on reality t.v. That little girl is going to treasure it all her life.
When Catelynn gave birth to Carly the adoptive mom came and gave her a beautiful silver bracelet with a heart on it. She had gotten one for herself, one for Catelynn and one for Carly to wear when she is bigger, as a symbol of how connected the 3 of them are and always will be. I about fell out of my chair crying over that one. They chose really good adoptive parents for that baby.
That's it. Have a great weekend and don't let all the shopping, decorating, baking, wrapping get you down. Take a deep breath and just relax.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
News of the Weird and getting Weirder
You are just never going to believe this story I have for you today. I was shocked at the get-go. But then it got weirder and weirder.
Go here and read this. I will wait. It's not that long, but it is chock-full of OMG moments!
Here is the readers digest version:
Someone in Boise Idaho was going in to bars and telling random women that they would free breast exams and giving out the phone number to a real plastic surgeon's office. And get this!!!
Several women were dumb enough to let themselves get felt up in a bar and think it was a "real" breast exam. Really? Seriously?
So when calls started coming in to the real plastic surgeon's office saying "Hey, when the Dr. felt me up at the bar, I was also given an appointment" they contacted the police, who then put out a warrant for the offender.
Who (get this) was a woman! It wasn't even a sleazy pervy old guy like you would imagine! Amazing.
So when the warrant for this woman goes out, it ends up being for a man's name.
Huh?
She was in the system already but under a man's name. Double huh?
Turns out she is a Male to Female transgender! I am telling you, if Hollywoood were writing this story no one would believe it. And yet, back in Boise, Idaho . . .
May I just say that it doesn't help the story-telling any that every single time I say Idaho, I think of that stupid joke about which of the Miss America contestants is a prostitute. It's the one that is Miss I-da-ho! Bahh!!! I know, you would think I was a 12 year old boy.
So Miss Kristina Ross who used to be Mr. Kristoffer Ross is going back to the pokey! Hee! I wonder if she will be offering free exams to her new cellmates?
Go here and read this. I will wait. It's not that long, but it is chock-full of OMG moments!
Here is the readers digest version:
Someone in Boise Idaho was going in to bars and telling random women that they would free breast exams and giving out the phone number to a real plastic surgeon's office. And get this!!!
Several women were dumb enough to let themselves get felt up in a bar and think it was a "real" breast exam. Really? Seriously?
So when calls started coming in to the real plastic surgeon's office saying "Hey, when the Dr. felt me up at the bar, I was also given an appointment" they contacted the police, who then put out a warrant for the offender.
Who (get this) was a woman! It wasn't even a sleazy pervy old guy like you would imagine! Amazing.
So when the warrant for this woman goes out, it ends up being for a man's name.
Huh?
She was in the system already but under a man's name. Double huh?
Turns out she is a Male to Female transgender! I am telling you, if Hollywoood were writing this story no one would believe it. And yet, back in Boise, Idaho . . .
May I just say that it doesn't help the story-telling any that every single time I say Idaho, I think of that stupid joke about which of the Miss America contestants is a prostitute. It's the one that is Miss I-da-ho! Bahh!!! I know, you would think I was a 12 year old boy.
So Miss Kristina Ross who used to be Mr. Kristoffer Ross is going back to the pokey! Hee! I wonder if she will be offering free exams to her new cellmates?
Sunday, November 14, 2010
How hard can it be to find the perfect coffee/cocktail table?
Seriously? How hard can it be? I have looked and looked for several years now and just can't find anything that I love. Nothing.
Everything is either too short, too tall, too modern, too ornate, not the right shape. Whatever, they are just not the one I am looking for.
I am trying to put something in a room filled with antiques that are mostly all rosewood and mahogany. So new stuff doesn't really go and lots of old things are not the right scale. I don't know how to explain it. I just know that when I see it, I am going to snatch it up on the spot!
In addition to regularly scoping out the antique and consignment shops locally, I peruse the offerings on ebay on occasion. Here are a few little gems that show up when you search ebay for "antique coffee cocktail table":
First up we have a very shiny brass number with black glass on not one but two shelves.
The next one was really weird. They claim it was a glass and rosewood table. It looked to me like something Fred and Wilma Flintstone would have had.
Then you won't even believe it but there was a wagon wheel table. Is this really an antique? Would you serve cocktails on this thing? Can you look at it and NOT think of When Harry Met Sally?
The next one is not a table so much as a grouping of tables. Now, if I had a really cool 1950s early 60s vibe going on, I would grab these guys up in a heart beat. Pretty cool. Just not what I am looking for.
And then we have another table made out of a cart or farm equipment or something. I couldn't figure it out. I also can't quite understand why.
And this last one. Well, I don't really know what to say about it. Suffice it to say, that if Bruno had this one in the movie instead of the wagon wheel, he and Carrie Fisher might not have moved in together at all!
I can not envision a tackier coffee table than that one! Heee!!!
Everything is either too short, too tall, too modern, too ornate, not the right shape. Whatever, they are just not the one I am looking for.
I am trying to put something in a room filled with antiques that are mostly all rosewood and mahogany. So new stuff doesn't really go and lots of old things are not the right scale. I don't know how to explain it. I just know that when I see it, I am going to snatch it up on the spot!
In addition to regularly scoping out the antique and consignment shops locally, I peruse the offerings on ebay on occasion. Here are a few little gems that show up when you search ebay for "antique coffee cocktail table":
First up we have a very shiny brass number with black glass on not one but two shelves.
The next one was really weird. They claim it was a glass and rosewood table. It looked to me like something Fred and Wilma Flintstone would have had.
Then you won't even believe it but there was a wagon wheel table. Is this really an antique? Would you serve cocktails on this thing? Can you look at it and NOT think of When Harry Met Sally?
The next one is not a table so much as a grouping of tables. Now, if I had a really cool 1950s early 60s vibe going on, I would grab these guys up in a heart beat. Pretty cool. Just not what I am looking for.
And then we have another table made out of a cart or farm equipment or something. I couldn't figure it out. I also can't quite understand why.
And this last one. Well, I don't really know what to say about it. Suffice it to say, that if Bruno had this one in the movie instead of the wagon wheel, he and Carrie Fisher might not have moved in together at all!
I can not envision a tackier coffee table than that one! Heee!!!
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