While I am on a roll (with the rants)

Dear Private Practice,

I was so excited when you were about to premiere!  Imagine!  A show about a wellness clinic that included a fertility doctor, a therapist, a midwife and an alternative medicine doctor who practiced Chinese healing and accupuncture.  What a refreshing change of pace from all the other cookie cutter shows about, well, about cutting, every chance they got.

But within the first couple of episodes I saw that you were not going to be all that you could.  And I was forced to write letters to ABC complaining about how that self-absorbed pain in the ass character of Addison Montgomery actually said the words "Midwifery?  Is that even a word?"  She belittled poor Dell, the midwife apprentice on that show and acted so superior that it made me sad.  And sick too.  But mostly, sad.

There's poor Dell on the right.  He got no respect.  Only from Naomi, who should be the second person from the left, only that person must have been replaced because that's not Naomi.  Front and center stands Addison Montgomery, and to her left is Tim Daly who we can all tell from the casual footwear is the "alternative" medicine dude.

And what happened?  Did things shape up in the mutual respect department?

Nope, not even a little bit.

You killed off Dell.

That's not exactly the way I thought you might handle the differences between care modalities.  So of course, the highly technical, interventive way has to be superior over the natural way of giving birth.

Then the last season began with Tim Daly's character leaving his herbs, his accupuncture needles, his calmer, less-invasive way of treating patients behind and all the sudden he is a

SURGEON????


wtf?

The births on this show are some of the least realistic births on television.

But last week?  Last week just took the cake.  I have resigned myself to the fact that you and I will never agree or see eye to eye on birth.

When the Addison character referred to post-partum depression or post-partum psychosis as simply "post-partum", saying something to the effect "many women experience post-partum", that was it for me.

Really?  Post-partum?  Isn't post-partum the word used to describe the period immediately following childbirth?  To demean that period in a woman's life and making it the equivalent to a psychological diagnosis is not only incorrect but inflammatory.

Shame, shame, shame on you.

I am done with you.  I am saying my good-byes now.

And good riddance.

Can you hear me NOW???

Here it comes, people.  Another rant.  I can't help it, I am on a roll. With the rants.

You know how Carly Simon sang "You're So Vain" and everyone who was anyone thought it really WAS all about them??  I am sure there are going to be various people who will assume I am talking about them with this particular rant.

And to that I say "If the shoe fits, maybe so".

When society changes, etiquette has to change and catch up or try to hurry and get ahead of the game to keep everyone doing the right thing so that there aren't hurt feelings all around.  And with all these changes to technology, we have to adapt our behaviors accordingly.  With that said, I have to start my rant on idiots with cell phones who INSIST  on talking on them at all times.  It doesn't matter where they are, who they are with, what they are doing, who they are inconveniencing, they are yammering loudly into their fucking phones.  OH MY LORD!  Stop it already!!!

There is a time and a place for everything.  And sometimes that time is later and the place is NOT HERE!

Since the invention of the telephone they have been a demanding interruption to whatever it is you are currently engaged in.  Then came the answering machine, which in the words of Miss Manners was the equivalent to a butler in the old days, he would screen the calls and take the messages for you to return those calls at your convenience.


But then came the mobile phone.  And for some stupid reason people think they have to be in touch with every single person they have ever met at all times.  WTF?

So here are some cell phone etiquette rules to follow.  I am sure you will all come up with some I haven't thought up yet, so please feel free to share them.

1. If you are in a public place, and by public I mean standing in a room with more than one person and feel the need to yell into your phone, there is a problem.  If you are alone, yell all you want.  If there is another person within 10 feet (I have checked all sorts of etiquette sites and they all agree to the 10 feet rule) you need to make yourself mobile and move.  Or you need to examine why you feel the need to yell into your phone at all.  Think of it this way, if you didn't have a phone in your hand would standing there there yelling be appropriate?  If not, you have your answer regarding the phone situation.

2. Your phone should be considered a means for people to communicate with you in case of an emergency.  If I am talking with you and your phone rings, the only polite response is to silence it and apologize for the interruption.  If you and I are talking and you are expecting an emergency call, you should have told me beforehand so that I could choose to continue with a potentially interrupted conversation or not.  It's rude in the extreme to take calls when you are in a face-to-face with someone else.  And don't get me started on those who choose to make a call when with a group of people!!!  Seriously?  Are the people with you not entertaining enough?  Do you need even more stimulation than your current group provides?  Shame on you.

3. In a restaurant setting - there are restaurants that do not allow cell phone conversations.  You should check before making calls while seated.  Just as you should check with your guests (see rule 2 above). Not to mention that restaurants have you seated in close proximity to other diners who did not come out to listen to you jabber on your phone (see rule 1 above).  The only call to take at a restaurant is from your dining companion who is calling to let you know he/she is stuck in traffic and will be arriving shortly or from your babysitter with an important question about your kids and knives.

4. Theater, concert, meetings - really?  It blows my mind that people have to be told over and over again to turn the damn phones OFF while attending any of these events.  And yet, even after being told, you will hear the T-Mobile jingle coming from some jackass' pocket or purse.  Turn them off or leave them at home.

5. Any other person's home or office - see rule 4 above.  Turn your phone off before you go inside.

6. Places of worship - Heee!  The rule I read said "leave your phone in the car.  God may call you but most likely it won't be via Verizon".  No phone necessary in church, temple, or wherever you are communing with your Higher Power.

7. Face to face with another - Have you seen these morons in line at Starbucks yammering away on their phones and they won't say "Hold the line a minute while I place my order"?  Have you ever seen anything ruder than expecting the barista to stand there cooling their heels while they go on with whatever was so fucking important they have the staff waiting and all the people in line behind them as well?  These people must be sooooo much more important than the rest of us peons.  Dickheads.  Shame on them for using such condescending behavior.  I bet they don't tip well either.  Obnoxious self-important wieners.

Your phone is a tool to communicate.  One of many tools you may employ throughout your day.  It is no substitute for face to face. And it should be used with discretion.

p.s. Mr. Big Ed just read this and said his biggest pet peeve regarding cell phones is idiots who use them in public restroom stalls.

Bad Service and Yelp

I have bitched and moaned before about bad service and how customer service in general has just gone in the toilet.  People flat out do not give a big hairy rat's ASS about your satisfaction at the end of a business transaction.  It's as if they have no inkling of an idea that you may, oh I don't know, ever want to darken their doors again!!


What the hell is up with this trend?  It is just getting worse.  People don't seem to know how to say please, thank you or come again.  And you know I am leading up to something that happened recently, don't you?

Just yesterday I ended up The Cove a local eatery.  It's one of those cute little places that sits between a laundromat and a car wash.  It has a beer garden, live music in the evenings, lots of beer and is known around here for being a vegetarian friendly, mostly local and organic food kind of place.  Really casual and on the funky side.  We eat there quite a bit actually.  The food is good.  It is not great by any means.  But it is good and you walk away feeling like you made a healthier choice than many other places you could have gone to.

But yesterday?  Not so much.

There's this one chick who works behind the counter taking orders who is just rude, doesn't seem too bright, isn't really with the program you might say.  And of course she was there.  Now, they have 2 registers but mostly only run with one of them and have people lined up and out the door waiting to place their orders.  So that's a problem right there.

Typically, I get salads or burgers.  But yesterday I was thinking about the nachos.  I have seen plates of nachos being delivered to other tables and they looked good.  On the chalk board menu waaaay up in the air above the counter it said "Bean and cheese nachos with avocado dip".  (wth is avocado dip?  is it guacamole? is it mayonnaise-y?)

So when it was my turn to go to the counter I asked the Rude Chick "What is the avocado dip on the nachos?"

Rude Chick: Oh, it's avocado mixed with sour cream.

Me:  That sounds really good.

RC: Yeah, it's got like pico de gallo stuff, tomatoes, onions, cilantro in it too.

Me:  No, I better not get that.  I don't eat onions.

RC:  Oh, you'll like this.  It's really good.

Me:  No, I don't do onions.  But, could I just get . . . .

RC: (interrupting me) No, it is already mixed in.  We can't take it out for you.  But you should try it.  it's really good.  You would like onions if you tried this.

Me:  No, I wasn't going to ask that.  I was going to ask . . .

RC: (interrupting me continually) Here, let me get this.  (she walks off and returns with a small cup of the dip stuff)  Taste it.  and she shoves it across the counter into my face.  Here, taste it!

Me: No, thank you.  I don't want it.  I am trying to tell you that I don't want it.

RC:  Well, are you allergic?

Me:  Let's just say I don't like them and they don't like me. (looking back at my friends in line, and wondering WTF)

RC:  If you would just taste this, you would like it.

Me:  No.  I didn't get to be 50 flipping years old without knowing what I like and don't like. No thank you.  (I was trying my best not to blow up on her triflin' ass, but she was making it extremely difficult)

RC:  Fine. Do you want beef or chicken on your nachos?

Me: You know what, I don't want any.  I am not eating here.  (And at this point the white hot rage that comes from the pit of your stomach and moves up had come up and hit the top of my head.  And I had had ENOUGH).

And I walked over to my friends and said "Sorry, but I can't eat here.  We'll have to meet another time".

And I left.

Yeah, I probably could have handled it better.  I could have stood there and demanded to see a manager and held up the line that was going on f o r e v e r.  I could have stood my ground and insisted that the Rude Chick not take my order and get someone else.  But at that moment I was just so completely over all the business of no one listening to me and taking my words seriously, that I could not imagine dragging this out any further.

But I did get on yelp.com and write a scathing review of the service.  My friend, the Mom of the Peach says that I should also call the owners and managers and tell them.  I don't know if I care to even bother.

If a place of business doesn't care enough to hire the best possible person to be the Face of the Company to all who walk in, why is it my business to tell them to handle their shit better?  Do it right or expect to lose customers.  That's it.

And as of right now, they have lost me.  I was going there about once every two weeks.  And I never went alone.  So that's a fair amount of business from one source.

The restaurant business is notorious for being hard to keep your head above water.  I have read that most businesses don't last 7 years.  It is a tough, very competitive line to be in.

All the more reason it would behoove the owners to make sure, make DAMN SURE that one rude employee who half-asses her job is not ruining their business.  Is this not Rule #1 in any business handbook anywhere?

Another thing about this particular restaurant's system that is bad is that the servers tip jar is at the register.  How many of the servers get short-changed on the tips due to the interaction with the Rude Chick behind the register?  My guess is a whole bunch.

What say you?  Should I follow up as a courtesy to the owners or managers of this establishment or just let it lie and not go back?

I'm back and flitting from topic to topic. Do try to keep up!

Hey, it has been a while.  I was on a pretty impromptu roadtrip with my sister so that was fun.  We sang along with Adele and the Backstreet Boys, because that is how we roll.  Ha!

So, today is 100 years since the Titanic sank and in honor of that the History Channel is showing a fabulous memorial tonight with lots of never before seen due to new technology just now finding it kind of stuff.  For those of us that are obsessed with Titanic and all the horrific sadness, this is a goldmine.  Be sure to set your dvr or tivo to record this bit of history.

Also, in t.v. update news!  Are y'all watching anything right now?  Let me tell you what all is on my dvr.

The Borgias - Showtime channel, fabulous series about the infamous family that ran the Vatican and Rome.  And you have to know anytime you can have Jeremy Irons playing someone evil it is gonna be good.

The Big C - Also on Showtime.  I think this is the 3rd season of this wonderful, thoughtful series starring Laura Linney and Oliver Platt.

Nurse Jackie - Showtime, yet again.  Showtime has some great series.  If you don't get this channel, why the hell not?

Game of Thrones - HBO - o.m.g.!!!  Watch it.

Eastbound and Down - HBO, Kenny Powers with a mullet!

Top Shot - History Channel, Colby Donaldson, cool guns, nice looking men, really cool blowing up of stuff, and Colby Donaldson, enough said.

Modern Family - ABC, Best. Flipping. Show. Ever.

Survivor - CBS.  What is more fun than watching idiots trust the wrong people and disaster ensues?

Amazing Race - CBS.  See above comment about Survivor.

Real Time with Bill Maher - HBO, I can not go more than a week without seeing his New Rules at the end of the show.  Awesome.

Jeopardy! - CBS.  Love Jeopardy!  and I also love yelling "Can it, Trebek!  or Suck it, Trebek! or It's HUN-DRED you morons, NOT HUNNERD!"  They may be able to pass the Jeopardy online quiz but they still can't pronounce hundred.  Idiots.

I can't think of what else my dvr records for me.  Sparky also has his shows recording, like Aqua Teen Hungerforce, Family Guy, Metalocolypse.  When they are on we don't miss It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League.  Those are both on FX.

Oh!  Also we watch (although this will be the final season coming up) Breaking Bad on AMC.

Quick!  Changing subjects.

Someone, I don't know who, recommended the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy to me.  Whoever it was, obviously doesn't know me.  I barely made it through book one.

It is such trite crap I could NOT believe it got greenlighted, or green lit or was given the thumbs up. Holy Moly, is it bad!

Please don't be taken in by the hype or the fact that book one has already been optioned for a movie. I can not even imagine how they will make this be not a boring, repetitive piece of porno trash.

There are not enough descriptive words to tell you how much I hated all the characters.  The female lead was so fucking annoying and stupid I couldn't even believe it.  The male lead?  Warped, controlling, and so strange it defied all logic that she would be soooo attracted to him that all her common sense would go right out the window.

What I'm saying is unless you are looking for s&m bondage porn laced with the worst and most repetitive dialogue, you don't want to bother with this piece of crap.

Did you try the brown rice crusted quiche recipe yet?  Please do.  I am sure you will like it.

What else has been going on around here that I wanted to talk about?

Oh!  I know what I have been trying to remember to tell you about!

Have you seen this ad?

I was watching this and thought to myself, "Self, if they took a whole shirt and made a dickie out of the top part, this is what is left over."

IT'S A DICKIE FOR YOUR ASS!

Where do they come up with this stuff?  And why, oh why, are we gullible enough to buy it?

Trendy Top, indeed.

Have a great day and I will be here to discuss some more ancestry.com findings in the next few days!

At long last, another recipe

I swear it has been forever since I posted a recipe here.  Maybe you don't care?  Maybe you don't cook?  Maybe no one is really out there reading this?

Whatever.

Here's the deal with the recipe.  I got it off of Pinterest!  Yes, it is the first recipe I have gotten off of my board and actually made.

Both my kids claim to be gluten-intolerant.  I say "claim" because I don't think either of them have ever gotten any type of scientific confirmation.  But that is just like me with my stupid menopause stuff and the fact that I have noticed that the hot flashes are REALLY BAD whenever I eat meat.  I haven't needed anyone to corroborate this for me, I have just learned to not eat meat very often.

So the kids are gluten-intolerant.  You know what this means, don't you?  No sandwiches, burgers, no pasta, no pizza.  Pretty much no fast food, no take-out.  And it is much like back in the day when Rachel Pie was vegan, you have to think a lot and plan a lot before every meal choice.

This recipe is gluten-free.  It is tasty.  It is so versatile!

Check it out:

Broccoli and Cheddar Quiche with a Brown Rice Crust

2 cups cooked brown rice
1/4 cup cheddar cheese, finely grated
5 eggs
1 cup milk
2 cups broccoli, cut into bite-sized pieces and blanched
1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated
4 green onions, sliced
1 pinch nutmeg
Salt and pepper, to taste

1. Mix the rice, finely grated cheese and one egge in a bowl. Press the rice mixture into a pie plate, about 1/4 inch thick.

2. Bake in a preheated 450 F oven until the edges and bottom just start turning golden brown, about 5 to 7 minutes.

3. Mix the remaining eggs, milk, broccoli, sharp cheddar cheese, and green onions in a bowl and season. Pour the egg mixture into the pie crust.

4. Bake in a preheated 375 F oven until golden brown and set in the center, about 30 to 35 minutes.


***Okay, here are MY notes and changes.


1. Make sure you have COOKED rice.  Remember that brown rice takes almost an hour to cook.  Then you have to cool it a bit before you mix the egg into it.  


2. The pre-baking of the rice crust took longer for me than the 5 - 7 minutes, but I was also doing 2 at a time.


3. Instead of blanching the broccoli, I sauteed it quickly with some garlic and seasoning.  Because if you read this recipe it says "Salt and Pepper to taste". Then it says "add the seasoning to the raw egg mixture".  Really?  No, I prefer the method of not tasting the raw eggs.


4. Baking time was right on.  30 - 35 minutes worked out perfectly.  


Think of the possibilities for this recipe.  Different seasonings, herbs and cheeses in the crust.  Completely different filling combinations.  We were thinking of spinach, bacon, gruyere or fontina cheese.  Or chicken, chiles, corn, and tomatoes.  


When you make rice for a meal during the week plan to make enough for 2 cups leftover to make this dish.  A "planned-over", as it were.  Use whatever is in your fridge to create a new way to enjoy it and create less waste.  


And by the by?  This was delicious.  I made one for us and one for my client who had just delivered her baby.  


Try it and let me know what you think.

Really? Really??

Last year we saw the traveling production of Rock of Ages, the Broadway show based on 1980s heavy metal/hair band music.  And it was fun.  It was campy fun.

Did you know they are making it into a movie?

Neither did I.

Did you know that it will star Tom Cruise?

Neither did I.

Check out the trailer:

It also stars that cute as a bug little Julianne Hough, Alec Baldwin, and Paul (Pig Vomit) Giamatti and a cast of hundreds.

But Tom Cruise?

I'm sorry, but ewwww. It just seems creepy.

It's a match made in Heaven!!

Do y'all remember way back last fall when they came out with the lip smackers that are flavored like the Girl Scout Cookies?  And I loved them?  And they were at Claire's?

That was one of those smack-yourself-in-the-head and say why didn't *I* think of that? kind of moments.

And here we are again!!!

You are just not going to believe what a fabulous new product is out there that I MUST go get right now!

And guess what?

It's also at Claire's!!

(are you getting tired of all the !!! in this post?)  Must learn to end a sentence with a regular old period and not be all excited-exclaimmy.

Ta-Da!!

Look at that!  Peeps nail polish that leaves your nails smelling all Peep-ish!  (sorry for further excited-exclaimmy-ness)  But look!

Sorry, I will blog more later.  I am trotting right down to Claire's to get some of these.  Woot!!