Mishaps in the Craft Room

This story would be better with some pictures of these mishaps.  But when you are in the midst of things sometimes you are overwhelmed and stopping to take a picture of your own stupidity isn't first thing on your mind, you know?

I had the bright idea to make some weighted blankets rather than purchase them.  That way they could be the exact fabrics that the kids wanted.  Etc and all the other reasons why I have a craft room in the first place!

Then it was on to Pinterest to research how these things are made.  You have to know how much weight is correct for the size/height/weight of the person using it.  Then it was a matter of figuring out what to use for the weight; the plastic weighted things (like in Beanie Babies) or something else.  Rice, flax seed and corn are good things because they are natural and can be heated or stuck in the freezer for cooling treatments, too.  But those items are not washable.  If they get damp they can mold inside the blanket and have to be thrown away.

Then I discovered cherry stones.  They are also a natural product, they come from Michigan the land of cherries, and believe it or don't they can be washed and dried.  Who knew?!

Cherry stones sounded like the perfect answer to the question.  I was really intrigued to try this project.  Anyhoo, we got the fabrics and I washed, dried and ironed them while waiting on the cherry stones to arrive.  And I watched tutorials on how best to sew these up.

Basically, you sew the fabrics together on 3 sides with the right sides facing in.  Then you trim it and turn it right side out.  You will then decide how many little segments you want to have with the stones evenly divided throughout the blanket.  Got it?

For the size I am doing for a 2 year old who weighs 30 pounds the weight of the blanket should be between 10 and 20% of total body weight.  We were shooting for 4 pounds of total blanket weight.  The size of the blanket evenly divided into 6 x 4 squares.  Six segments down the long side crossed with 4 going across.  I then took the blanket sewn on the 3 sides and marked it into the six and sewed there creating six channels.  I took the cherry stones and divided the 4 lbs into 24 equal-ish bowls.

So far, so good, right?  But I looked at the fabric and thought how flat the color was.  And then it dawned on me that I had NOT FLIPPED THE FABRIC RIGHT SIDE OUT!!!!

Oh good Lord.  So I got my seam ripper and carefully took out all the channels that I had just sewn in. And then I cleaned up all the bits of thread and flipped it correctly and remarked all the six channels again and sewed them in place.

I took the first 6 portions of the cherry stones and poured them in and pushed them down to the end and pinned across to sew them in place.  This is working out!  Yay!

I did the next row up and pinned and then sewed that row.  Then on the third row I started having a little trouble because of the weight of the whole thing and the stones wanting to shift around.  But I got the 3rd row done and as I lifted it and cut the thread from the machine I heard the sound of falling cherry stones.  That was closely followed by the sound of my heart also falling into my stomach.

That whole 3rd row was not closed because I had run out of bobbin thread.  Son of a BITCH!

So I got down on the floor gathered up all the cherry stones and divided them up again and set all of this on my work table.  And I got my bobbin out and refilled it and got my machine ready to rock and roll and turned everything off and left the room.

You can only make so many mistakes before you realize it is time to take a break and come back to this project tomorrow.

Moon Diet

Yes, you read it right.  The Moon Diet.  According to several different sites I visited to learn more about this

"It's well known that the moon affects the earth's oceans and rivers with its gravitational pull. It is less known that the moon also affects the water contained in the human body. The moon diet takes advantage of the moon's power to help you cleanse your body and lose weight. On certain days you can lose up to 6 lbs in a single 24-hour period!


Human knowledge and mythology throughout time have spoken of the moon's effect on the earth and the human body. The moon's gravitational pull dictates the action of the ocean's tides. A woman's menstrual cycle runs in parallel to the cycle of the moon. Some believe the moon affects the emotions—for example, the full moon stimulates aggressive behavior.

In addition, the moon can affect the water contained in the human body. The human body is 60% water. When the moon reaches its full phase and new phase, its gravitational pull combines with the sun for the greatest gravitational effect. This period of increased effect lasts about 24 hours."


So with this in mind, I set out to find what is meant by The Moon Diet.  It is important to note when the  moon will be full (date and time) to start this regimen.  It seems to me that it is a good monthly detox.


Here is how it lays out if you want to follow along.  And by the by, the full moon starts tomorrow at 6:52 p.m. So if you want to try it this month, you better get to the store!

1. At the onset of the full moon:

    Choose A: 24 hour diet of spring, boiled or distilled water, fresh squeezed fruit and vegetable juices in abundance.

or B: 3 day diet: Day 1 - raw or cooked vegetables. Day 2 - only the liquids listed above. Day 3 - fresh cut up pineapple and fresh mushrooms either steamed or cooked with olive oil and spices.

or C: 6 day diet: Day 1 - raw or cooked vegetables. Days 2, 3, 5, and 6 - the fresh cut up pineapple and mushrooms as above. with Day 4 being the liquid fasting as in the 24 hour hour diet.

2. At 1800 hours (6 p.m.) of the evening before the new moon, begin this diet. Eat these foods for 36 hours. Soups and vegetable broths. Soups made of your favorite vegetables. Take these 4 - 5 times a day. Drink lots of pure spring, boiled or distilled water. To avoid monotony - once a day drink a cup of poultry, meat or fish broth. 

Avoid alcohol, coffee and black tea during these times.  You may drink herbal teas like mint as much as you want. The pineapple is a really good diuretic and the mushrooms are a very low calorie/high water way to consume protein that your muscles will need.

Here are the remaining full moon dates for this year, 2012.

3 July 18:52 (6:52 p.m.)

2 Aug. 3:38 (3:38 a.m.)

31 Aug. 13:59 (1:59 p.m.)

30 Sept. 3:19 (3:19 a.m.)

29 Oct. 19:50 (7:50 p.m.)

28 Nov. 14:47 (2:47 p.m.)

28 Dec. 10:22 (10:22 a.m.)

What do you think? Are you interested in trying a cleansing/detox diet that has ties to Mother Nature?

 

Seriously Random Stuff

Another of those posts that kind of follow my thought pattern.

1.  Do you ever watch t.v. and see a commercial that is either so hilarious or so horrible you immediately think, "Holy shit, I have to remember to blog about THAT!"??

Well, I do that all the time.  And by the time I get to youtube and go to look it up so I can share it with you, I can't remember what it was.  It's gone.  Poof!

2. We are still looking for a home for the little Mama Kitty who is the cutest, sweetest, most precious little teeny kitty you ever saw.  If you are at all interested in providing a loving home for this girl, let me know.

And before you ask, no.  She can not stay here. Angus MacPhee absolutely hates her and would make her life a living hell.  Angus is a dick.

3. My across-the-street neighbor was robbed yesterday morning.  In broad daylight.  While he AND his yard worker were both around.  It was a completely bizarre incident.  And 4 years ago when Ernest T. Bass was dropped off here I tried and tried to get my neighbor to take him.  And if he had, well, I don't think that idiot thieving thief would have made it into the garage.  Ernest T. is quite loud and protective of his property.

4. The Texas wildfires are popping up all over the place.  The area just east of us that is on fire is said to be the size of Connecticut.

5. Did I ever mention here that I am growing out my hair color and going all natural?  Well, I am.  Since menopause is totally kicking my memory's ass six ways to Sunday, I decided that I need to lessen my brain's exposure to chemicals.  Also, I am super annoyed with seeing people in their 70s trotting around with jet black hair.  And I didn't want to be one of them.

So I decided to embrace my silver hairs and let them grow in and let's just see what we shall see!  So far, people are very complimentary of the new color.  I never know if they really mean it or are just taking pity on the poor old gray haired lady.

6. This is the first year that we have kept the round card table up in the living room all year.  We put it up at Christmas time to do jigsaw puzzles near the Christmas tree.  And this year?  It has just stayed up and we have continued doing puzzle after puzzle.  It has to stay in that room because we can close it off away from the cats.

7. Remember the little crocheted bottle cap trivets I was making?  I got 3 more done before I ran out of bottle caps.  So that is 3 Christmas gifts done.  I need to get a source for clean, unsmashed bottle caps.  Any ideas?

8. Our garden is completely dead.  Nothing survived this horrendous drought and 4 months of 100+ temps.   I am worried about our massive oak trees.  I could give two figs for the damn stupid grass, but my trees?  That's another story.

9.  Normally, I have good book recommendations for you, but not now.  Lately, all I have been reading is about food, healthy diets, good food for your body and for the environment.  And you know what?  Some of these things contradict each other!  It's confusing.  I can't decide whether to try out The Diet That Seems Easiest To Work With or The One That Seems Best For the Earth and Hardest For Me.

It's a bit daunting and overwhelming, all this information.

10. And finally!  My last thought for the day.  Well, my last thought to share here, not necessarily the last thought I will have the whole DAY!

Life is good.  It can be as complicated as you want, or as easy and simple as you want.  It's all in how you look at it.

I have a friend who I play Mah Jongg with who has a needlepoint sampler on her wall that says something like "The difference between Stumbling Blocks and Stepping Stones, is in how you use them".  And that's kind of what I have been thinking.  The situation is what it is regardless of how you feel about it.  You can choose to have negative feelings about something but that doesn't make the facts negative, does it?  Facts are facts.  A situation is what it is whether you choose to love it or hate it.  Which set of feelings will get you through the day?

Invisible

I don’t know the day it happened, but I have come to realize that I am one of the invisible.  Once I was aware of this I started noticing how I don’t garner the attention I used to. Surely I did at one time, didn’t I?

I see the young girls.  The attractive ones who think their beauty is everlasting. They don’t know that they too will be invisible one day.  They wouldn’t believe it if you told them.  How could they?

One day you have the world at your feet, you can’t conceive of a time when this will fade.  Your looks will change, life happens and leaves its imprint on every part of you.  Your skin isn’t as tight, you notice lines where yesterday there were none.  Why are there silver threads in your hair?

Remember when your hips weren’t this wide?  That was before Mother Nature decided that it was time for child-bearing hips and extra padding.  No one told me things would shift and your pre-pregnancy clothes would never fit the same way again.  Same thing with feet, no one clues you in to the fact that with each pregnancy your feet are now a half-size bigger.  Those gorgeous shoes that cost a whole week’s paycheck pre-baby?  Well, you may as well donate them to Goodwill or a consignment store. Because not only can you not squeeze your new size 8 feet into those wine-colored soft-as-butter size 7 Italian leather pumps, you also never go anywhere to wear them.  Now you wear things that have baby puke on them and go to places that are stroller-friendly.  You are most likely wearing those big comfortable cotton granny panties too.  The pretty satin matched sets? Not so much.

I went to dinner with several friends one evening.  We were all similar ages, in our 40’s, but I was the short one, the heaviest one.  I knew that before we got there, I am not stupid or blind, and I have certainly seen myself in the mirror.  The owner/chef came out and said hello to us and greeted each with a kiss on the hand except me.  I got a handshake.  Like a man. Like a grandma. Like a non-sexual being.  That was quite the eye-opener.  It was like getting hit in the face with a bucket of cold water.  That’s how jarring it was.  Being over forty, and over weight is a sure bet that you will be scanned over like a part of the scenery or a piece of furniture when someone walks in and is checking the room.  It is to be invisible.

I remember the year that I was engaged to be married.  That was my peak.  I was pretty then.  Not just pretty, but I was so happy and walking around with my head up and smiling and just exuding self-confidence.  I was a bride-to-be! On several occasions that year men walked up to me and told me how beautiful I was, how pretty my eyes were, asked for my number. It was like they were compelled to do so by my confidence.  That had certainly never happened before, and not since.  It has been years since I have commanded a second glance. Years.  I don’t need other people’s validation that I am a worthy person, that’s not it. I guess I am sad and mourning the side of me that was attractive to other people and drew them to me.  

On the inside, I am still the same as I once was.  I still feel like I did when I was 21 and could (and did) flirt with everyone.  But I don’t do it anymore.  I know how sad and pathetic it is for short, fat, 50 year old people to be out and thinking they are still 21 and attractive.  It’s embarrassing for everyone.  I still have the same longing to meet new people, to flirt and make conversation, to be sensual and desired.  Now I am invisible and those days are over for me. 

It is hard to make peace with your internal and external realities sometimes.  You get to a place in your life where you realize your value to others is now through your works.  You have become a Human Do-ing rather than a human be-ing.  You aren’t worthy just by virtue of Be-ing, you have to be Do-ing things, working for a good cause, doing the jobs no one else wants, the jobs no one will pay someone to do, always putting others’ needs ahead of your own.  If you are not Do-ing, then you are invisible.

And that is where I am in my life.  It’s not that I want to turn back the clock so much as to just slow it down.  My internal clock is slower than real time.  I have always thought if each day were 48 hours rather than 24, it would work better for me.  I would have time to adjust to the changes that are happening, to the fact that my babies were growing up so fast that I couldn’t keep up, that my adult life has flown by at ten times, no a hundred times the speed of my childhood.  I need time to adjust my mindset to my current reality.  I hear of people who drop everything, who divorce their husband of 30 years, and move to a new place and start a new life, and I used to be shocked.  Now, I understand it.  There comes a sense of urgency when you realize that you have reached the top of the hill and the downhill side is so much faster than you imagined.  That bucket list you have been meaning to write and start in on?  Well, you best get moving. Time waits for no man.  Or woman. 

Memory!

Yes, I am singing that damn song from Cats. I love that song, but it is one of those that gets stuck in your head and there you are walking down the aisle of the grocery store humming and annoying all the other shoppers. Seems as though I hum louder outside my head than inside my head. I bet I hum better and more on-key in my head, too!

This is the story of my life. I sit down at the computer to post something new, exciting and relevant and what happens? It all goes out the window, I get distracted by some new shiny object and nothing gets done. So I get up and go about my business and then the thought pops back in my head and we start this all over again.

And here is the fun part! When I try to remember what I was going to post about, the song Memory starts going. Then I say to myself "If I only could remember . . . . " and then my theme song soundtrack switches to "If I Only Had a Brain!!!" Lovely.

So basically this is post about me and my menopausal brain forgetting important things and remembering lame-ass songs from eons ago. Nice.

I know what you're thinking, you wish you were me, right? Yeah, not so much.

Ok, well here is what I am sure I meant to post at the beginning of all this fal-de-ral. I have just finished reading a fabulous book. It is called "A Midwife's Tale, the diary of Martha Ballard, 1782 - 1810" I am just guessing on the dates because the book is in the other room and if I wander over there to get it, chances are I may not remember to come back! Anyhoo, this is a well-researched and documented little chunk of history told through the diary of a midwife back in the 18th century in Maine. Mrs. Martha Ballard and her husband Ephraim settle in Maine in the area that became Augusta right on the Kennebuc river. Through her diary she lists all the babies she birthed, whether she was paid, what the weather was like, who died, what things she did such as planting, weaving, washing, etc., rather like an almanac. It is a really interesting read.

The author did tons and tons of research and verification of who was who in the township, what were the customs, etc. through other surviving documents, diaries, maps, etc. Speaking of maps, Martha's husband Ephraim was a surveyor and many of his maps still survive. Can you guess how much I want to go to Maine and go through the museum that houses all this stuff and look at where she lived and walked? Very exciting stuff!

Martha's sister had a daughter who became famous in her own right, Miss Clara Barton the founder of the American Red Cross. She was a feisty feminist for her time! And the great, great granddaughter who inherited the diaries became one of the very first women to become a doctor in the U.S. She is the one who donated them to the Maine state museum for their archives.

My favorite phrase I picked up from reading this is "leaving them Cleverly". This was an old British way of saying in good shape, or good health. So when Martha journaled that she left mom and babe Cleverly, she was saying all was well. I love it!

Last night I picked up "Son of a Witch", the sequel to "Wicked". I read "Wicked" a few years ago and followed it up with the "Ugly Stepsister's Tale". Now I am re-acquainting myself with the Land of Oz. Makes me wish I had the gift of imagination that the author does.

And with that, I hope this finds all of you Cleverly. I am going to find my marbles.

Bette Davis was right!!!

That Bette Davis, now she was a woman you didn't mess with! Talk about feisty and gutsy. I bet her middle name was Feisty. Bette Feiste Davis. That looks about right.

Anyhoo, so Bette Davis is famously quoted as saying "Getting old is not for the faint of heart, or wimps, or wussies, or something". It has become crystal clear to me what she meant by this. I turned the big 5 - 0 in December, so that makes me 50 years and 5 months give or take a day or two. And since that time menopause has kicked my memory's ass. Kicked it down the street, around the block, up in the air and slam-dunked it into the trash. That is how bad things are getting. If I was faint of heart, or a wimp, or a big fat wussie I might be considering getting in bed, pulling the covers up over my wimpy head and staying there.

You might be asking yourself, "Self, what the hell is Lisa Pie going on about". The answer to that is this: Wednesday I loaded all sorts of crap in my car to take to Goodwill. I got in the car and drove off realizing I had my cel phone in my pocket and reached in to put it in the cup holder that doubles as my cel phone holder. This is when I found NOT my cel phone, but my house phone! Which was by the by, searching desperately for the base. I did say to myself at that time, Lisa Pie you Gomer, what the hell are you doing? After successfully giving the items to the Goodwill guy and not giving him all the rest of the stuff in my car, I went around front of the store and thought I might just go in and see if they have anything that is on my "wish list". I reached for my purse and it dawned on me that I had grabbed the wrong purse. This purse was a cute, small purse that I had used on my last roadtrip but had nothing in it but some change. No license. No credit cards. No $$$$$. Nothing. Zip.

I was driving around without a license! I have not done that before. Ever. So I very, very carefully went back home to leave the house phone and pick up the right purse before I headed over to Super Target to do my regular shopping and not bothering with Goodwill Wish List shopping.

Yesterday, I kept running around like a hummingbird flitting from one thing to another, never staying on task or finishing a damn thing. At some point I got something on my pants and decided to just take them off and find a few like-colored things and wash them. So I dropped my pants and tossed them in the sink and then hit them with the Stain Stick and ran a load of light colors. Later on I was at the computer, like I am now while typing this, and looked down to my right where I always have my cel phone, house phone and a cup of tea and there was the tea and the house phone. No cel phone. Where the hell did I leave my cel phone? Immediately I remembered going to my closet to change and thought "Oh, I bet I left in the closet for the 1,423,456th time". It wasn't there! So I got the house phone and started calling it so I could hear it ring. Straight to voice mail, but the caller tune wasn't playing. That's very odd. Why would that not be working? Shit, on top of everything else I am going to have to call T-mobile and ask what is up with the damn caller tunes. Then a horrible thought occurred to me, and it wasn't a bolt of lightening thought, it was more like a slow oozing molasses in winter thought that washed down from the top recesses of my brain. Holy Moley, I bet the cel phone was in my pants pocket when I doused it in the sink and threw it in the washer!! O. M. G.

This was not a happy thought for me. This is something I would make fun of other (cough, Rachel Pie, cough) people for doing. I opened the washer and there it was on the bottom underneath all the damp clothes. Washed, rinsed and spun-dried. Can you believe that? I couldn't.

I do know that I have read that if your phone ever gets wet, damp, excess moisture you are supposed to take the back off, remove SIM card, battery and let everything dry out really well. So that is what I did. Except every hour or 2 I would put it all back together to check it and see if it was working. It wasn't. Are you surprised? I wasn't.

Today, I put it back together and guess what? It is working again! The screen is not as clear as it was, but if you didn't know this story and looked at it I am willing to wager you might not know the difference either. This phone is 4 years old and I have been thinking seriously about upgrading for a long time now. But now, I am not so sure. If a phone can go through what this one did, and still have the ummpphh to keep working, this might be a phone to stick with!

So, I am thinking I may have to go see some sort of doctor, accupuncturist, herbalist, something to help manage my hormones so I don't keep losing my marbles. Or purse. Or house phone. Or cel phone. Or whatever else I have misplaced and just can't remember yet!!

I think this is why older women act like they don't give a shit about what other people think. They have already got too much on their minds as it is without having to be concerned with whether their shoes match, or the young cute girls in the store think they are laughable, or whether they picked up the right purse.

Raise a glass and toast Bette Davis. Now, she is a woman worth emulating!