52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks - Week 2

This week's prompt is Favorite Photo.  Now I have a load of photos of ancestors but what I chose was something different.

Have a look.

This is a drawing of the original plat of the city of New Haven, CT.  My 10th great grandfather was William Tuttle, one of the founders of this city.  That he had his name on the plat as one of the founders and got a cool corner lot is rather cool, I think.  I like how the town was built around the square.  I have more information of the Tuttles than I will probably ever get to in my lifetime.  They were a prominent family in the area and not always known for good things. There seems to be a strain of insanity in their blood.  The axe-murdering kind of insanity.  Surely, after 10 dilutions to me most of that should be gone.  Let's just say they were not a boring bunch, those Tuttles.  Anyway, this area is now the commons of Yale University.

And here we have a drawing of a painting of the venerable William Tuttle.

Doesn't he look like the life of the party?  What a dour face.  He did have a herd of kids and a lot of responsibilities and was the first of his family to leave jolly old England.  So there's that.  Also, two of his kids would become axe murderers.

I would bet when you clicked to see this blog post you didn't think you were going to see this, did you?  I wasn't sure which photo I would use right up until I chose.

I hope you are enjoying doing some genealogy and ancestry research on your own tree.

Recommitting to The Compact and to Decluttering

Here I am again!

I am going to post these thing separately for ease of searching them out later.  10 years ago in January of 2007 I heard about The Compact, a group of people in San Francisco who made a commitment to not buying anything new for the calendar year.  I signed up on the yahoo group (there are still about 10,000 people participating in that group) and started and education.  Boy, did I learn a LOT!  There are so many ways to look around and find a used item or make do or borrow or barter or any number of ways to do something other than just buy a new whatever-it-is.

What goes hand in hand with not buying new things is taking really good care of your old things. Also, I found a TON of ways to do the environmental thing rather than the easy things.  Such as:

*Use cloth napkins rather than buying and throwing away paper ones. I guarantee you have cloth napkins, or bandanas, or wash cloths or and old table cloth that has a hole/stain in it that you could cut up and hem and make napkins.  I have not bought a single paper napkin in 10 years.  I haven't bought any new cloth napkins either.  I already had some and I have found some in estate sales and added to the pile.  Just a few extra napkins added to a load of laundry will cost you no more in water, soap or electricity.  Plus they are much nicer.

*Recycle everything that you don't compost.  Buy foods with as little packaging as possible.  When you buy food with no packaging you are automatically buying your food as close to its natural form as you can get it.  That means you aren't buying crap for your body, either!  Yay!  I have been known to dig through the garbage and move things to the recycle bin or to the compost bucket.

Here's a short list of things that I throw in the compost bucket, things that no longer go in my trash:
Toilet paper cores, Paper towel cores, used tissues, shredded paper, dead plants, flowers, coffee grounds, tea bags, egg shells, tamale husks.

Now, picture your trash can and take all those items and compost them.  Then start looking for things to recycle, like oatmeal boxes, glass bottles, plastic bottles.  If you get those things out of the trash, look how small your trash pile is now!  It's awesome.

Anyhoo, I have back-slid quite a ways from my Compacty ways and I am now publicly making a recommitment to get back in to that.  I will post here regularly (not exactly sure how often) and see what I am adding to my list.

In addition to getting Compacty, I found a decluttering challenge called JanuaryCure 2018. Go here to see what is happening with that one.  I signed up for it and today's challenge is to clean out a drawer.  Any drawer.  Freezer drawer, desk drawer, junk drawer, dresser drawer, any drawer. Dump it out, see what you can throw away, recycle, put in its rightful place, clean the drawer inside and then neatly put in the contents that need to live there.  I will be doing that here in just a bit as soon as I select which of my cluttered drawers deserves the honor of being the first one decluttered!

Let me know if you are interested in either getting Compacty in your ways or in decluttering your way through 2018.  I would love to hear from you.

Reading

I just finished a fantastic book.  And since I am always on the lookout for new reading material I thought I might share with you in case you are doing the same.

This is the 3rd of her memoir books.  And let me just say that if I had Mary Karr's gift of stringing words one after the other and creating the most amazing mental pictures I would die happy.  So many times I read a book/article/poem/whatever and nothing, no emotional response.  But Mary Karr's work?  Well, that is something else entirely.

Here is what the cover of her first book looks like:

The one in the middle between these two chronologically is called "Cherry".  Also amazing.

There are very few writers who by their very words can reach in and touch your heart.  There are even fewer who grab your heart and twist it into pieces and rearrange it in a way you never knew was possible.  Mary Karr is one.  Salman Rushdie and Margaret Atwood also do this for me.

If you are not familiar with these books, take my recommendation and give Liar's Club a try and work your way through to Lit.  Then come back and thank me.  I sincerely hope you enjoy her books.

If Wishes were Horses . . .

You know those thoughts of "oh, if I had all the time in the world I would learn this, or that"?  Remember when you were little and every day there would be a new "when I grow up I want to be a pilot, astronaut, archaeologist, princess"?

Well, when you are on the back side of 50 those thoughts come back to you.  You have much less time left to achieve any of those dreams.  Sad to say it, but it's the truth.  If you want to be a librarian you best get to figuring out the qualifications and getting to it.

I have a list of dreams that I would think of but only in the abstract, never in the real life.  And in no particular order, here we go!

Archaeologist

Psychologist

Writer/Storyteller

Midwife

Chef

Owner of a cozy book store

Librarian

Artist (not necessarily a painter, but something artistic)

Healer

And what have I achieved in my life?  I never did become an archaeologist, or a psychologist, or write any books.

But I am a massage therapist and I have read, studied and learned to heal and treat with herbs, oils and natural remedies.  I am a birth and postpartum doula and I am good at it.

I am a pretty damn good cook and am an adventurous person in the kitchen.

I would never claim to be an artist or an author, but I am creative.  And I have spent many years making things, learning needlepoint, cross stitch, embroidery, sewing, crochet, knitting, and quilting. I took a class one time on making Battenburg lace.

I am a nurturer and hope to be blessed to be a grandparent one day.

And the things I wish?  I still wish I could write.  I would love to write stories, poems and straight-to-the-point diatribes on what's wrong with the world.  Because I am opinionated.

I still wish I knew what it takes to be an archaeologist.  I think it could still be in the realm of the possible.

But no way I am going to get to have a cozy book store like the one in 84 Charing Cross Road.  Barnes & Noble killed off most of the fabulous little book stores and then Amazon gutted what was left.

Any wishes you have?  Any dreams that you haven't reached for yet?

Recycling, Downsizing and Letting go

Remember the other day when I showed you the KonMari book?

I am trying to implement this in my life.  If you know me in real life you may be picking your teeth up and putting them back in your mouth.  I KNOW!!!  I am a packrat.  I love stuff.  I have accumulated loads of stuff.  I have collections of stuff.  Let's face it, I am on my way to being a hoarder.

So I am trying my best to embrace the more minimalist side of myself.  The part of me that sees all the stuff as things that weigh me down, that keep me from being the best I can because I am too busy dusting, arranging and finding homes for all my important stuff.  It is hard to completely change your mindset, especially when you spent years of your life accumulating.  I did recognize years ago that I had a lot of things and made a hard and fast rule that any time I saw something I wanted I had to stop and think of a similar object in my house that I was willing to let go of, be it sweaters or shoes or whatever.  Note:  this rule has never applied to books.  Books are sacred and as such, limitless in the number you can own.

I let things go all the time.  And yet, the clutter persists.  So I am reading and re-reading the KonMari book up there and falling more in love with the idea of having fewer beloved items that now have air around them, that aren't crammed into a large collection so that this item of beauty can shine all on its own.

And you know what is really strange?  Along with minimizing my stuff I am also changing my style of furnishings and things that I want to inhabit my space.  I have always been in the Bohemian camp with loads of competing patterns, fabrics, textures, over-stuffed big comfy furniture and the like.  Nowadays, my taste is running more towards mid-century modern, Danish 1960s looking things and craftsman/arts & crafts.  Where the hell did THIS come from??

I have very slowly over the last 15 years come around to the Small House Movement way of thinking.  I love the idea of making great use of the space you have and not building, heating, cooling and walking through long hallways of unusable space.

That's me right now; recycling things that need to go to someone else, downsizing the amount of treasures I want to keep and letting go of all the things that no longer serve me and no longer spark joy in my life.

Holler at me if you need something, I just might have a collection of said item that I would love to gift you.

Update on the new eyeglasses and a few other things

Did you look at the pretty frames I posted the other day?  Well, I got in to see my eye doctor and the new and improved lenses will be ready to go soon.  However, one of the new frames did not work for me.  Yes, it is sad to say that the Frida Kahlo frames will not be mine.  They did NOT look good on me.  My daughter is coming to visit and I will offer them to her if she wants them and if they look good on her face.  If not?  Well, I will either offer them up to someone else or ask the seller if I can return them.  They are lovely and need to be worn.

Other random thoughts running through my head:

1. When you have little kids and you can't go to the bathroom by yourself, they eventually outgrow that nonsense and give you some space.  When you have cats?  Not so much.  This morning I had 2 in there with me and one at the door.  They are like little 2 year olds with OCD.

2. I am still sick.  I believe I am on the mend, but I am still sick.  And every time I go to a doctor they all ask "Are you depressed?"  Well, let me think.  I have been sick since April 1 and before that I had sciatica and couldn't walk and before that was the frozen shoulder.  What do you think?

3. I know summer is the worst time to try and watch anything on t.v. because it's usually a wasteland of crap and reruns.  In case you haven't seen any of these great summer shows, here are a few I highly recommend:  The Jim Gaffigan Show.  It's on Nickelodeon or TVLand.  Also the FX channel has 2 great new shows, Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll starring Denis Leary and John Corbett, and also one called Married.  These are outstanding t.v. Look for them.  The upcoming fall season is going to include The Bastard Executioner whick I am really looking forward to and what appears to be the final season of The League.

4. I am still doing the mostly all meat-free, dairy-free and gluten-free.  I say mostly because I have eaten a bit of meat here and there.  Maybe once a week.  But no dairy and almost no gluten.  I went to an Indian restaurant and of course I had a small naan and one of the golub jammun for dessert.  The naan was totally worth it and the golub jammun was not.  It was not as good as I am used to and was a total waste of calories and gluten.  So far, I am still with the sinus congestion and still coughing.  I have lost 1 pants size so there's that!

5. I am almost completely off the caffeine, too.  I dropped my black teas months ago and drink a cup of green tea in the morning and then switch to red tea (rooibos) and herbal teas after that.  AND NO SUGAR!!!

6. I have been starting the Kon-Mari method of tidying up and decluttering my life.  I love her philosophy.  Here's the book in case you haven't seen it yet.

And that picture is almost life-size.  The book is tiny.  Everything in your life, your house, etc. should spark joy and bring happiness and be useful.  If not, thank it, and release it.

Have a great long Labor Day weekend!

Of Boyfriends Past and Lost Chances

To the child of my high school boyfriend,

I want to take a few minutes of your time to tell you how special your father was way back in the day. He could not have been any sweeter or more generous with me.  I have no idea what kind of man he grew into, nor husband or father.  But I know this, he was funny and he was gentle and up for adventure.  I always felt completely safe with him and that is a huge deal for me.

When we knew each other I was at a place in my life that was not good.  I was struggling to figure out who I was and what my place in the world would be.  I had no self esteem and covered that up with being loud, out-going, gregarious and having a devil-may-care attitude about tomorrow. Let's face it, I was a mess.  A loud, crazy-acting person who could not find her place to fit in.  And he saw me as worthy of spending time with.  And as a person worthy of opening his heart and life to.  I never felt judged or coming up short.

We went to the movies, restaurants that he most likely could not afford, concerts, bars, parties at the lake, all the usual high school stuff.  And there was lots of craziness going on.  Picture the movie, "Dazed and Confused".  That was parties at the lake.  But I always knew he would make sure we got home safe.  He spent many hours helping me study to pass a class that I hated or I would have never graduated.  I really didn't even care about school at that point, but he still helped me.

After we graduated I moved away.  I moved 600 miles away.  Not because I wanted to and not because I wanted to be that far, but because I had no other place to live.  Circumstances being what they were, it was best that I left my home.  And I am eternally grateful for the chance I was given at a fresh start and this is where I ended up meeting my husband, but it was really sad for me to leave. We had no concept of what a long distance relationship would be like, especially back in the day of super expensive long distance calls or slow hand-written letters. But we tried it for a while, a good year of writing, occasional phone calls and even less-occasional visits. And then we made the decision to just give in and call it quits.

And I missed him.  There were things that came up in my life and he would be the first person in my mind to call and share these things. But that time had passed and it was just not appropriate for me to do that, so I missed the opportunity to re-connect and stay friends.

So when I came across his sister on Facebook a few years ago, I immediately friended her and was glad to get in touch with his family again.  I knew that he had married and had a child, as had I and I wanted to be respectful of those boundaries and not reach out to him directly.  Occasionally, when I would speak with his sister she would say that he was very glad that she and I had gotten in touch and that he was happy to get my news through her.  I thought we would bridge that gap and communicate directly sometime in the future.

But life being what it is, that future was not to be.  The day that I got a message saying that he had passed away from a heart attack in the middle of the night was just unbelievable.  I had to read the message 3 times before it soaked in to my brain that this is what had happened.  I kept putting the word "almost" in there, as in, we almost lost him last night.  Why would my brain do that?  Made me wonder what else I am missing.  This hit me like a ton of bricks.  I know people say that but it truly felt like that.  And I mourned the loss of his life, I mourned the lost chance to ever get to see him and look in his eyes and say thank you.  Thank you for all the times you were sweet, loving, protective and strong.  Missed opportunities to tell someone how much you appreciate them are just so damn sad.  For weeks afterwards I had vivid dreams of him and I could smell him.

I have been working hard the past few years with a therapist and going to Al-Anon and learning how to not be such a codependent person.  And one of the things I have learned is to quit making decisions based on fear.  I don't want fear of the unknown or whatever to rule me and keep me from doing the things that I know I should.  One of those things that I should be doing is grabbing opportunities to say the things that should be said.  Say the thank yous, say the I love yous, and mostly say the I am so sorrys.

So, to the child of my high school boyfriend, I want to say how deeply sorry I am that your father was taken from you too soon.  I am sorry that he and I were not friends and didn't get to sit with you and tell you stories of when he was young, handsome, sweet and loving.  The story of us driving to Ft. Worth to a Gregg Allman concert and getting lost on the way home, THAT was a great story.  I hope that other friends from different stages of his life will find a way to share memories with you, too.

I will close this out with our song.

I said I wouldn't do it, and then I couldn't help myself

You know those people who carefully analyze and then really think out their decisions based on facts and information BEFORE they figure out which candidate and which issues to support?

Yeah, me neither.

That's because people tend to get all emotional and stupid when it comes to political issues.  Much like religious ones.  Funny how that happens here in the U.S. of A. since we are suppoed to have this big separation of church and state.

I have plenty of friends who say things like "Oh, I know so-and-so and I are at polar opposites on such-and-such issue, but we just agree to disagree."

Really?  How the hell does that work?  I am having a really hard time doing this.  I don't want to just be all amicable and sweet about people who have their heads up their asses.  Get your head out of your ass!  Then we can just agree!!!!  No need for any disagreement at all.

The upcoming presidential elections (which, by the by, seem to have been going on for the last 100 years.  Good Lord, why do they start so soon after the LAST one???) are driving me nuts.

For me, I have narrowed it down to a couple of key issues.

1. Women's rights

2. LGBTQ rights

3. Health care

4. Environment

I have found that I can't care about every. single. thing. they bring up.   It just makes my life unmanageable when I have way too many things to deal with.  These are my top 4 that I can NOT stand idly by and let these things get trampled.  It would just be unacceptable for these top 4 to go by the wayside.

So, this being said, if you and I are at those polar opposites on these issues, I don't think I can talk to you any more.  If you, deep in your heart, believe that women are not equal to men and deserving of equal rights, pay and benefits.  I, as a woman, don't need you in my life.  How could you possibly have my best interest at heart if you don't think I am equal and worthy?

Same goes for the LGBTQ stance.  If you don't believe that all of us, and I mean all, not just the hetero ones of us, are entitled to the same bill of rights.  I don't need you in my life.  If you are supporting candidates, political parties, ideals and platforms that will take away the few hard-won rights that affect the gay community, then why on earth would I want to have this kind of less-than thinking around me?  If you can look at my beautiful, caring, precious daughter and see a person who is not-quite-as-deserving as the next person, well then, not only don't I need you, but I won't be missing your bigoted small-minded ass.

I am choosing to surround myself with positivity and people who are loving, kind and generous.  Truth be told, since I am on the other side of 50 now, I don't see any reason to have intolerant bullies and bigots in my life.  I am suffering no fools, as they say.

I will be living my life in a way that I think God intended, doing for others, loving people less fortunate, and helping where I can.  I will be offering money, food, and whatever I can to help the homeless be they people or animals.  I am trying to be a living example of a loving, caring extension of my beliefs.

What I won't be doing is trying to take something away from others, I won't be trying to trample your rights and judging you to be less-than.  My heart aches at all the meanness and bullshit that has been going on and people getting caught up in the rhetoric and refusing to look at the underlying truths.

I will be cleaning out my actual and virtual friend lists.  I just can't read the non-sensical crap coming out on a daily, no, an almost hourly basis any more.  And then I will get back to trying to be clever tomorrow.

Book Review

I am reviewing a book I only started last night!!!


I am barely into this and am imagining the possiblilities for my own self.

Believe it or don't, this book has it's own trailer on youtube.  Am I the last person on earth to know that this happens?

Now that you have watched it and have an inkling of what this book is about, let me move on with my own thoughts about what I am reading.

Jen Hatmaker makes the choice to do this project and document what she finds in order to remove clutter from her mind and her life in order to make room for God and his message.  I think this is awesome. She is on the path to discovering that things, possessions, filling your life and your mind with all this crap only slows you down and impedes you finding your purpose.  Finding why you were born.  You and your own set of talents and gifts were born to do something, to be the best you there is.  To possibly teach or be a lesson for someone else.

But living our lives the way we do with so much STUFF doesn't help us achieve our purpose.  All it does is cloud things over and distract us.

I love how she lays out how each month will work and has her group of women she calls her Council to help her find what the boundaries of each should be.  They also hold her accountable and go on the journey with her each in their own way.

I love how she allows herself the freedom to complain and bend the rules or break them when necessary. And then spend some time reflecting over each decision and find the lesson.

The first month is food.  She did not force her kids to do the first couple of months but then the rest were all done as a whole family.  For the food she worked out a nutritious gang of 7 foods and stuck to it and tried to find recipes to incorporate as many as possible.  The only seasonings, condiments allowed were salt and pepper.  And so Jen opted to make those 7 foods as healthy as possible and bought local, organic and high quality foods.  Her findings over this month were really inspiring.

The second month was clothes.  Holy moly!  I am sure a lot of people are like me and have a huge closet full of things and yet only wear a tiny fraction of what is there.  Jen went through all the closets in her home and guesstimated the amount of items and multiplied that by $20 for each and got a staggering figure of how much money is just hanging there in the closet, unloved, and unneeded.  That's a sobering idea, isn't it?

And let me tell you, I have waaaaay more hanging in my closet than she did!

Right now I am most of the way through her Month 3 of no media, meaning no t.v., no facebook, no texting, no Wii, no screentime except for work and school.  So the family are forced to deal with each other face to face.  They go find things to do, like bike riding, playing ball outside, really good intereactions with each other rather than mindlessly staring at a screen.

I am wondering as I think about the first 3 chapters how this is going to manifest itself in my life.  Am I willing to be this drastic in any area of my life, much less 7 different ones?

I don't know.  I will continue mulling it over and let you know as things unfold.

FINALLY!!!!

Those of you who have been with me since the beginning know what an epiphany this is.  Anyone else, just play along.

Remember how I am a tea hoarder?  You know I have whittled and whittled down my tea stash only to create a tea tin stash?  I can NOT bring myself to throw away perfectly good tins.  I have looked and searched and thought and thought of ways to recycle, reuse those tins and not much has come to mind.

And then I found this  Please, go check out this fabulous recycling blog.  Beautiful, creative and innovative ways to use found objects.

Here are a couple pictures of the tea tin lights

Before:

And after:

Very clever.

No regrets

No regrets, that's a great motto.  If you have to live your life by a motto, try that one.

Recently facebook has exploded with those silly-ass nostalgic "remember back when in your home town" pages and people have just gone fucking NUTS posting memories.  How many of those pages are you a member of?

I am in 4 of them in addition to the 2 pages for my high school.  This is a lot of reading to wade through, people!

And then?

Then someone had the idea to put up a memorial page for my high school.  O. M. G.!  You would swear that my home town was empty there are so many dead people listed!  I got out a pad of paper and started making a list of all the people (okay it's really 2 lists, one of my graduating class, and the other of people I knew who were from other classes) that I knew.  I guess I will stick it in my annual and keep adding to it as I have to.

Since I joined facebook a few years ago I have reconnected with a lot of wonderful people that I never thought I would see again.  I moved away right after high school and then a few years later we left the country and started traipsing around Latin America and changing addresses every 18 months to 3 years. Do you even know how many people drop you like a hot potato if you dare to move and force them to change their entry in their address book?  People are weird, is what they are.

So even those that I had tried to stay in touch with ended up getting lost to me through the '90s.  When classmates.com came out I joined that and immediately got hooked back up with some great friends.  It was a great resource for its time.

Facebook does that same job even better.  (as an aside I think the Google+ will be even better)   And I have been re-introduced to some people and it has made a huge difference in my life.  And I am now going to try to not be all maudlin and such, but still let everyone know how much I appreciate them.

Here's the deal:  on the memorial page listing all the dead classmates?  There is a friend who just passed away last year.  I remember vaguely seeing her name listed within the high school list of "potential fb friends" and saying to myself "oh yeah, I need to remember to friend her".

Well, it's too flipping late.

Shame on me for not being more aware of that little voice and just acting on that thought at that time.  I am not being presumptious and thinking my presence in her life could have changed anything.  But I appreciate so much the small kind gestures and words from my friends and let's face it, a missed opportunity is a missed opportunity.  Sometimes they don't come back by, you have to get your piece said when you can.

I am going to make this claim right here, right now with all of you as my motivation; I am going to do my level best to let people know how much I appreciate them being in my life and to not waste that chance.  And I am going to start with you!

Yes, you.  Thank you for being here.  Thank you for checking in with me to see what drivel I have come up with to talk about. And especially this summer when I have been so sporadic with posting.  It truly does my heart good when I see that I have comments and some of you have come by and given me something to think about.

Life is good.  And it is better when shared.  So again, thank you for coming and sharing in my life. I will try to keep up my end of my relationships so that I am living with no regrets.

Plastic & Carb Update

Since I am doing the Plastic Purge and the Carb Purge at the same time I am just going to do combined updates on how it is going.

First up, Plastic.  This is so difficult.  If you aren't doing this, but are following along, I hope you are noticing when you pick up something if there is plastic involved in the item itself or in the packaging.  And not only notice that it is there, but whether or not it is necessary or could be done with another substance.

Here is an example:  I have recently posted about trying to buy dish soap, the kind for the sink, not the machine and how there is not one brand or type of dish soap that doesn't come in plastic.  Have you looked?  Your choice is really clear plastic or white plastic.  But it's plastic.

So my Compacty Bloggy friend Julia who is the genius who thought this challenge up, corrected me.  She posted a picture of what they used in the olden days before the days of plastic bottles.  Take a look at this thing:

Isn't that a clever little contraption?  You put your leftover bits of soap bars in the basket and when you are filling up your sink with hot water to wash, you stick this soap swisher in the water and you, well you swish it around!  I am now on the hunt for such a treasure.

If you would love to read how this came about and follow Julia's progress through the Plastic Purge of June 2011, please click over here to the first day of the purge and read along.  Julia is a wonderful, clever, and creative person, an accomplished writer, and just a joy to read.  I am proud to say I know her, even if it just internet-ally and not physically in person!

So there is an answer to every query, a lid for every pot, a back to every front. Whatever with that silliness!

Back to the Plastic Purging, I haven't posted much in the last 2 weeks about it because with the sciatica kicking my ass and I just left the house for the first time in over a week, I haven't bought anything, I haven't been anywhere to drag plasticky stuff in.  Mr. Big Ed has been really good about taking care of me and even coming home for lunch every day to cook for me.  So if he has brought anything in, I haven't seen it and I refuse to say anything to him if he did.

But the big thing for me is that I am noticing how little I really need to buy.  What do I need?  Occasionally we run out of some consumable item, be it food or body products or whatever.  But what else do we truly need?  Are we suffering from lack of something?  No.  We are all happy, healthy, and surrounded by more "stuff" than we would ever use in 10 lifetimes.  All of our bedrooms have beds, sheets, quilts and blankets. We have mostly-new towels in all the bathrooms. What else do we need?  I have a box set up in the garage continually for Goodwill donations.  You would think that eventually we would run out of shit to donate. But no.  I have already shared with you my rule of Nothing in the front door without an equal item going out the back door.  If that holds true, we should always stay at the same level of stuff or slightly less.  But no.

So I have not brought a lot of plastic into my home, but I haven't brought a lot of anything in either.  It's not like I went out and chose the lovely environmental item over the shoddy Made in China plastic crap, I just haven't brought anything home.  But what I have done so far is to become really mindful of everything that I put on my shopping list.  How is it packaged?  Is it really the only thing that fits the bill or is there an alternative of equal value that might be less plasticky?  Is this an item of quality that will last or of beauty that brings joy?  If it is a food or consumable item, how close to it's natural state is it?  Has it been adulterated beyond what is necessary?  If I buy orange juice I have to deal with either a plastic bottle with a plastic top or with the frozen concentrate paper tube with metal ends and a plastic strip; but if I buy oranges, all I have left is orange peels that can be dried into pot pourri or grated for another dish or composted.  Try to get your purchases to be as close to the original as possible and you will have less packaging and therefore less plastic to deal with.  That is what I have learned 21 days in on this challenge.

Now, on to the Low Carb, High Protein, Low Fat food regimen that I am following courtesy of my good friend Judy.  Judy is the most wonderful person. She just radiates joy and positivity.  If there are angels walking among us, she is definitely one.  Check out her blog if you want to follow this or just go to be inspired.

I am on day 4 of Phase 2 of the diet.  And let me tell you in just 11 days I have already learned so much about my body.

1. I am carb addicted.  Physically and mentally.

2. I don't normally eat enough food, and never enough of the right foods.

3. I haven't been treating my body well.

4. Plan ahead!!!  You can't eat healthily and take care of yourself if you don't have a plan!

5. The scale can be your friend.  It can let you know that things are going well or that something isn't right and you need to think about it and recalibrate something.

6. I need a new scale.  And like everything else I have to do all kinds of research and ask everyone what kind they have, what is the best, does it have plastic, is it accurate, etc.  So please, PLEASE, in the comments let me know about your scale.

7. When Phase 2 started and I could add in a bit of carrot and beets I was never so happy.  The bright colors cheered me as did the crunch, texture and flavor.  Have I mentioned the carb addiction?

8.  If you think I was happy with the carrots and beets you should have seen me with the orange.  Cold, organic, juicy and delicious in its orangey perfection.  That was the best orange I have ever eaten.

9. I am learning to enjoy my morning hot tea WITHOUT sugar or cream.  It's not nearly as satisfying, but I am learning.

10. In the first 5 days I had several evenings where I suddenly had a craving for a spoonful of peanut butter.  I mean I would have beaten down anyone who got between me and my Jiff.  It was strong and powerful.  I was taken aback by this as I don't eat peanut butter on a daily basis.  Wth was that about? So I listened to my body and I did have a spoonful of peanut butter.  And it was good.  Then I resisted the next night and didn't do it.  But the third time it happened I had the spoonful.  After that I haven't had a single craving.  Not for peanut butter, not for anything.  I am trying to just live in the moment and enjoy what is in front of me.  Which leads back to number 4.  If you haven't planned, there isn't anything in front of you.  So make a plan, and use it.

That's it for me right now.  Any thoughts?

What's on my nightstand, so to speak

I used to post pics of the stacks of books on my nightstand.  And that was kind of fun.  But since I have a Kindle that I love so very much, it is more difficult to share with you what I am reading.  I am a very visual person, meaning my style of learning and remembering is visually based.  So I would love to show you the cover of the book I am currently reading, but who wants to look at a pic of a Kindle screeen?

And so I go online to look for a picture of the current book and here it is!

Some how on the Blue Zones website they only have one photo of the book, and it is a combo pic of both books together.  I am reading the one on the right.  It is really, really interesting stuff.  And while I was over at the Blue Zones website I took their happiness quiz, to see how truly happy I am in my current surroundings and such.

I got a B+!!!!

Not too bad!  Their recommendations were that I get outdoors more often (I don't know about that, because  outdoors here means suffering greatly with horrible allergies for weeks after just one excursion) and that I stop watching so much t.v. (Well, of course I saw THAT one coming!!)

Check it out and please, feel free to come back and report on your happiness findings and which areas they recommend some adjustments in your life.

Does your cup runneth over?

According to all the stupid personality tests and such, I am a giver.  I am a nurturer.  I am a care-giver.  I know this about myself.  Which is why I was drawn to doing massage work and doula work, I am sure.

I am at a point in my life where I am learning that I have to allow people to do for me as well.  That is hard.  Not only that, but I have to learn to (gasp, this is the really hard part)

ASK FOR HELP.

This means not just letting people help who happen to see me struggling, but to notice this my own self and ask.  Some of us are givers.  Some are receivers.  Some of us are givers that have to learn the hard, hard lesson of  LETTING OTHERS GIVE TO US.

It sometimes helps if I can think of it as my gift to them, this letting others do for me.

And to take it one step further, I am going to learn to insist and demand that others (namely Mr. Big Ed) do for me.

I am finding that there is less and less to give to others if I don't find ways to replenish myself.  Does this make sense?  I am just now figuring this stuff out, so I know that I am less than eloquent at expressing it.

So, if I want my own cup to runneth over, I need to make sure there is at least as much going in as going out.  Seems like a no-brainer, doesn't it?  But if you aren't accustomed to it, it's pretty hard.

Do you have similar issues?  Do you have special ways you keep yourself in balance?  In good mental/emotional/spiritual health?

Ideas I am thinking of are to take time each week for myself and do yoga, get a massage, take time to have a cup of tea with a friend, go for a walk in the park, find a permanent church home, a date night. These are the things I have thought of off the top of my head to see if I can start working a few of these in and see how it goes.

My schedule is already really full, so adding in more items is tough.  Making time for myself needs to be a priority.  I feel like I have been running on fumes and it just has to get better.

My questions to you are these; are you in the same predicament? what things do you do for yourself? what would be the ideal things that would help keep you at your best?

I would love to hear from you!

You want to help? Here is a specific way to make your mark!

I am so excited about this project!  I don't even know what to do with myself.  Rather than trying to explain it all myself, I want you to go HERE.

Please read all the way through and do what you can to help.  I will be cleaning out my bathroom cabinets and sending all that I have.  All the cotton towels anyway.  I had never realized that possibly towels might be made with anything else.  But I will check all the labels before I box them up.

Hurray!  My heart was lifted when I found there is a way, even this small way, that I can contribute to the clean up.

Doula Training complete

The fall Doula Training was held this past Thursday, Friday, Sat. and Sunday (today) till noon. We had 18 participants and loads of local Doulas facilitating, helping, cooking, and just being as useful as possible. Our local group of Doulas is such a wonderful source of love, support, information, help and nurturing that it is unbelievable. This is not only for our clients, but for each other. We truly do nurture, lift up, and empower all the women in our lives. It is such a blessing to be associated with all these women.

I think one of the main reasons why this is such a cohesive group is because of our founder and director. The tone of a group is always set by its head, don't you think? She has been quietly and tirelessly working to build this group for more than 10 years and thousands of families have been served in that time. She never misses an opportunity to encourage each and every one of us and to tell us how much she cares about us.

Many of the 18 participants and now prospective-Doulas live in other areas and won't be joining our group. I really hope that they will find something similar in their hometowns to help them on their journey of serving women. For the others that are here locally, I will be looking forward to seeing them at upcoming meetings, in the office and assisting at the next training that has already been scheduled for April, 2010.

Being a Doula is truly a labor of love and I am so glad I found my way to this path at this particular stage of my life. I can't imagine anything I would rather be doing. Isn't it amazing when you find a calling and then find a way to be compensated for doing what you would do for free? It just makes it that much more satisfying and rewarding to know that your services are of value.

What things do you do or what things would you do if you could do anything you want without regard of the money? It's sad that we get stuck in a rut of spending 60 - 80 hours a week doing something we hate, in a place we hate, and away from our families just so we can pay the bills. There isn't much time left for doing things that nourish your soul, is there?

Recently I was thinking that if we were growing as much of our food as we could with the small piece of land that we have available to us, we could cut way back on working outside the home. Work just enough to pay for the electricity and utilities that we need. What else do we need? We all have way too much "stuff" so we don't need to keep buying more, do we? Food and utilities made the top of my list of consumables. Most everything else is not really a necessity, but rather a desire or a luxury.

Anyhoo, I think since I have found something I love doing that fills me up emotionally, and spiritually, but not necessarily financially. What I am doing now is finding ways to make the financial *needs* match the income rather than the other way round. Does that make sense? It makes sense to me in my head, I am just never sure that I express myself clearly outside my head!!

I hope you are doing good works that help you to be fulfilled and if you aren't able to do that right now I hope that you have other things that make up the difference for you.