Customer Service or Dis-service, you be the judge

Y'all, I really hate to be the person who just rants and bitches but unfortunately someone has to do it.  And once you turn 50 you lose that little part of you that just gives a shit what other people think. So, there's that.  It is now my job to call people on their bullshit and not to take any.

I was on etsy or pinterest or one of those sites that leads you down a rabbit hole of websites and found my way to a website that is selling some really cute, cute things that I thought I needed for Christmas gifts.  Really cute.

And so I looked at the website for the "about us" to see who these people are, where the money is going to, etc.  And there is a whole bunch of photos of the people who own/operate/run this company, but no information as to where they are geographically.  No physical location.  I clicked on the "contact us" button to ask a few question regarding a couple of items and it opened up an email.  So I went back and looked and yes, only email, no phone.  WTH?  No phone number?

I emailed and explained what my questions were and said I would like some customer support.  I got a really prompt return email with these words Thanks for reaching out! Unfortunately we don't offer all call center at this time, as we are an online business only. But I can help you via email!


Okay, that seems odd to me that because you are online you don't think people will ever need to talk to you.  That makes it even MORE likely that people will have a phone inquiry.

After several more email back and forths with the customer service person I placed the order with the choice of using Paypal for my payment since I didn't feel great about giving my credit card information to people who don't even have a phone.  And I sent her an email saying that I had ordered and to let me know if there was a problem.

And you'll never guess what!  

There was a problem.  She didn't get the order.  So I spent a ridiculous amount of time going all over their website trying to figure this out. And the website order form kept giving me a gigantic yellow yield sign saying I am required to give them my email address.  On the paypal payment page it had a square to check if I wanted them to share my email with the company or not, so I went back and checked that box and filled everything out again for the FOURTH TIME and you will not believe this but where they wanted me to fill in my email address?  THERE WAS NO SPACE TO PUT IT!!

If I put my cursor in the tab above it and hit my tab key it dropped right down past the email question to the next space.

So I sent off yet another email to the customer service person describing the situation and said please have someone call me to place this order or I am just going to forget about it.  And gave her my phone number.

And you'll never guess what happened next!

SHE EMAILED ME AGAIN!  She didn't call me!  Here is her reply to my request for them to call me:  Thanks for keeping me updated. So sorry the websites being difficult! Just to let you know I am going to do, I am forwarding this conversation to the owners so they can try to troubleshoot.

And if I can get your order via email, we will send you a PayPal invoice and order that way!

Are you believing this?  I got that one last evening and I had to sit on it overnight to not reply "Are you fucking kidding me??"

This is the email that I shot back to her today "I appreciate you being so prompt and getting back to me right away.  Because customer service is such a big part of the shopping process to me, I am going to say that it feels really awkward to me that there is no way to reach a person on the phone and try and resolve the issues i am having with this order.

I have gone out on a limb and trusted leaving my phone number with a total stranger and said that I would prefer if someone could just call me and we could get this ironed out.  And I get yet another email instead of a call.

So this makes me suspicious of a company that doesn’t have a responsive way to help customers through a website that has some issues.  No phone, really?  I just don’t think I can give my credit card and home address information to a company that doesn’t have phone support.

Sorry we couldn’t have done business together.  Your stuff looked really cute."

What do you think?  Are these people on the up and up?  Will they respond?  Will I ever get a phone call?  Would you try to work this hard to spend money?

I just don't understand the whole "one size fits all and this is the ONLY way we do business" mentality.  Every person has different needs and if you are dealing with the public you are going to run across loads of different kinds of people.  And all I wanted was a few questions answered and then for them to fix their stupid order online form that wasn't working.  

My guess is that they will not reach out to me to try and rectify this and I will not get to purchase these cute things and I will have to go to Plan B on the Christmas gift list.

Let me know your thoughts on this or just how you feel about customer service in general.

Am I getting crankier?

When something happens once you tend to think of it as an anomoly.  When it happens again, it's just a coincidence.  But when it happens for the fourth or fifth time, IN A ROW!  you tend to realize (unless you are dumb as a stump) that it might just be YOU.

Here's my predicament:

Lately, every single book I read, well, I end up hating the ending.  Hate. the. ending.  All summer long this has happened.

I think that trashy ass 50 shades book jinxed me.  And everything I have read since I just have not been happy with the endings.

I decided to read the Game of Thrones series since I have been watching the HBO series.  I love watching that and wanted to see how they align with the books.  The books are long and in parts, quite tedious.  Think Harry Potter long and James Michener tedious and you will have an idea of what I mean.  I enjoyed them.  And I was just going to read the first two because that's all the seasons they have shown on HBO and I didn't want to get ahead and then be all "yeah, yeah, I know what's coming next" when it next airs.  But I didn't do that.  I kept reading.  Let me just interject here that each of the first two books have been pretty well represented entirely in each of the first two seasons.  So I expect to see book 3 in season 3 whenever that comes around again.

Anyhoo, since I am now over 50 and my memory has gone to shit, I figured I would go ahead and read book 3 and maybe I would still be surprised by things in season 3.  But book 3 was so exciting that I went ahead and read book 4.

Now, at the end of book 4 there is a little afterward from the author talking about how he was wrapping up the series and it was just too much for one book, so look for book 5 to complete the series since he couldn't fit all these millions of characters in one book, etc, etc.

So, then I couldn't stand it and I got book 5.  Supposedly, the very end of the whole series.  And let me say here, Thank God I got these on my Kindle!  I picked them up and looked at them at B&N one day, and if you called them HUGE!  you wouldn't be wrong.  These books are each so big they could be referred to as tomes.  I could not imagine lugging these dictionary sized books around with me.

Book 5 is going to wrap up all the mysteries for me!  It will answer all my questions!  I will get to find out what happens to each and every one of the characters I have invested so much time into!  (yes, I know that ended that sentence in a preposition. Sue me.)

Didn't happen.

Nope.

Not even a little bit.

Well, except for the ones that were out right killed and then you knew you had been really screwed. That's how I feel when I am given a character that is beloved and I am all wrapped up in their story and BAM!  out of the clear blue he/she gets whacked.  Seriously?  We spent 5 giant books worth of words describing this character's feelings, how he/she grew up, matured and was looking forward to the next part of his/her life and there you are.  I never saw that one coming.  I didn't even think "well played, I was certainly surprised by that one!"  Nope.  It was more like "well, out of the top 10 characters in this series of books with casts of thousands, half of the top 10 just were discarded with no other news of their future, demise, or whatever and the other 5?  Dead?"

Not loving the wrap-up here, Mr. George R. R. Martin.

I also recently re-read The Thorn Birds for a book club.  Didn't really love the ending there, either.

Then I read The Patron Saint of Liars, which was a recent recommendation.  This was a great book right up to the ending.  Meh.  Didn't love the ending.

I just googled the book and it came up as a made-for-tv movie from 1998.  Good Lord, how old is this book?

Last night I finished a book that my daughter, the fabulous Rachel Pie, had been wanting me to read.  She kept recommending it and one day, about six months ago, we were at Half Price Books and she saw a copy and got me my very own so that I would be sure to read it.  It kept getting put to the bottom of the pile so that I could read crap like the 50 shades of craptastic crap and then be disappointed.  So I pulled it from the bottom of the pile o'books on my night stand and read it.

The Hummingbird's Daughter by Luis Urrea.  The main character is a great-aunt of the author and he spent 20 years of his life researching and writing this book.  I loved the book.  And yet, I wanted more out of the ending.  Was she happy?  Did she marry?  Did she have children?  Did her father live?  Where did she live?  What happened to all the other people in this book?  What happened to the ranch?

I don't want to think I am being unreasonable as a reader.  But why bring in all these details and then drop them?

The only book I have read in the last six months that I thought the ending was perfect was Lamb by Christopher Moore.  Fabulous book.  I picked up another of his on my last trip to Half Price Books.  I will let you know what I think of it. And whether the ending disappointed or not.

I said I wouldn't do it, and then I couldn't help myself

You know those people who carefully analyze and then really think out their decisions based on facts and information BEFORE they figure out which candidate and which issues to support?

Yeah, me neither.

That's because people tend to get all emotional and stupid when it comes to political issues.  Much like religious ones.  Funny how that happens here in the U.S. of A. since we are suppoed to have this big separation of church and state.

I have plenty of friends who say things like "Oh, I know so-and-so and I are at polar opposites on such-and-such issue, but we just agree to disagree."

Really?  How the hell does that work?  I am having a really hard time doing this.  I don't want to just be all amicable and sweet about people who have their heads up their asses.  Get your head out of your ass!  Then we can just agree!!!!  No need for any disagreement at all.

The upcoming presidential elections (which, by the by, seem to have been going on for the last 100 years.  Good Lord, why do they start so soon after the LAST one???) are driving me nuts.

For me, I have narrowed it down to a couple of key issues.

1. Women's rights

2. LGBTQ rights

3. Health care

4. Environment

I have found that I can't care about every. single. thing. they bring up.   It just makes my life unmanageable when I have way too many things to deal with.  These are my top 4 that I can NOT stand idly by and let these things get trampled.  It would just be unacceptable for these top 4 to go by the wayside.

So, this being said, if you and I are at those polar opposites on these issues, I don't think I can talk to you any more.  If you, deep in your heart, believe that women are not equal to men and deserving of equal rights, pay and benefits.  I, as a woman, don't need you in my life.  How could you possibly have my best interest at heart if you don't think I am equal and worthy?

Same goes for the LGBTQ stance.  If you don't believe that all of us, and I mean all, not just the hetero ones of us, are entitled to the same bill of rights.  I don't need you in my life.  If you are supporting candidates, political parties, ideals and platforms that will take away the few hard-won rights that affect the gay community, then why on earth would I want to have this kind of less-than thinking around me?  If you can look at my beautiful, caring, precious daughter and see a person who is not-quite-as-deserving as the next person, well then, not only don't I need you, but I won't be missing your bigoted small-minded ass.

I am choosing to surround myself with positivity and people who are loving, kind and generous.  Truth be told, since I am on the other side of 50 now, I don't see any reason to have intolerant bullies and bigots in my life.  I am suffering no fools, as they say.

I will be living my life in a way that I think God intended, doing for others, loving people less fortunate, and helping where I can.  I will be offering money, food, and whatever I can to help the homeless be they people or animals.  I am trying to be a living example of a loving, caring extension of my beliefs.

What I won't be doing is trying to take something away from others, I won't be trying to trample your rights and judging you to be less-than.  My heart aches at all the meanness and bullshit that has been going on and people getting caught up in the rhetoric and refusing to look at the underlying truths.

I will be cleaning out my actual and virtual friend lists.  I just can't read the non-sensical crap coming out on a daily, no, an almost hourly basis any more.  And then I will get back to trying to be clever tomorrow.

Priorities?

I was online looking at the headlines for local news.
And if you are like me you might think (and even assume) that these story headlines would be given in order of importance.  Much like being above the fold or below, or being on the front page versus inside in the second section.

Here is what I saw:

• FORECAST: Cold front approaching, storm threat tonight
• POLL: Do you approve of gift registries for high school graduation?
• Girl shot in face

*********************************************

Really?  Girl shot in face doesn't rate as high as gift registry poll?

We need some standards, people!

While I am on a roll (with the rants)

Dear Private Practice,

I was so excited when you were about to premiere!  Imagine!  A show about a wellness clinic that included a fertility doctor, a therapist, a midwife and an alternative medicine doctor who practiced Chinese healing and accupuncture.  What a refreshing change of pace from all the other cookie cutter shows about, well, about cutting, every chance they got.

But within the first couple of episodes I saw that you were not going to be all that you could.  And I was forced to write letters to ABC complaining about how that self-absorbed pain in the ass character of Addison Montgomery actually said the words "Midwifery?  Is that even a word?"  She belittled poor Dell, the midwife apprentice on that show and acted so superior that it made me sad.  And sick too.  But mostly, sad.

There's poor Dell on the right.  He got no respect.  Only from Naomi, who should be the second person from the left, only that person must have been replaced because that's not Naomi.  Front and center stands Addison Montgomery, and to her left is Tim Daly who we can all tell from the casual footwear is the "alternative" medicine dude.

And what happened?  Did things shape up in the mutual respect department?

Nope, not even a little bit.

You killed off Dell.

That's not exactly the way I thought you might handle the differences between care modalities.  So of course, the highly technical, interventive way has to be superior over the natural way of giving birth.

Then the last season began with Tim Daly's character leaving his herbs, his accupuncture needles, his calmer, less-invasive way of treating patients behind and all the sudden he is a

SURGEON????


wtf?

The births on this show are some of the least realistic births on television.

But last week?  Last week just took the cake.  I have resigned myself to the fact that you and I will never agree or see eye to eye on birth.

When the Addison character referred to post-partum depression or post-partum psychosis as simply "post-partum", saying something to the effect "many women experience post-partum", that was it for me.

Really?  Post-partum?  Isn't post-partum the word used to describe the period immediately following childbirth?  To demean that period in a woman's life and making it the equivalent to a psychological diagnosis is not only incorrect but inflammatory.

Shame, shame, shame on you.

I am done with you.  I am saying my good-byes now.

And good riddance.

Can you hear me NOW???

Here it comes, people.  Another rant.  I can't help it, I am on a roll. With the rants.

You know how Carly Simon sang "You're So Vain" and everyone who was anyone thought it really WAS all about them??  I am sure there are going to be various people who will assume I am talking about them with this particular rant.

And to that I say "If the shoe fits, maybe so".

When society changes, etiquette has to change and catch up or try to hurry and get ahead of the game to keep everyone doing the right thing so that there aren't hurt feelings all around.  And with all these changes to technology, we have to adapt our behaviors accordingly.  With that said, I have to start my rant on idiots with cell phones who INSIST  on talking on them at all times.  It doesn't matter where they are, who they are with, what they are doing, who they are inconveniencing, they are yammering loudly into their fucking phones.  OH MY LORD!  Stop it already!!!

There is a time and a place for everything.  And sometimes that time is later and the place is NOT HERE!

Since the invention of the telephone they have been a demanding interruption to whatever it is you are currently engaged in.  Then came the answering machine, which in the words of Miss Manners was the equivalent to a butler in the old days, he would screen the calls and take the messages for you to return those calls at your convenience.


But then came the mobile phone.  And for some stupid reason people think they have to be in touch with every single person they have ever met at all times.  WTF?

So here are some cell phone etiquette rules to follow.  I am sure you will all come up with some I haven't thought up yet, so please feel free to share them.

1. If you are in a public place, and by public I mean standing in a room with more than one person and feel the need to yell into your phone, there is a problem.  If you are alone, yell all you want.  If there is another person within 10 feet (I have checked all sorts of etiquette sites and they all agree to the 10 feet rule) you need to make yourself mobile and move.  Or you need to examine why you feel the need to yell into your phone at all.  Think of it this way, if you didn't have a phone in your hand would standing there there yelling be appropriate?  If not, you have your answer regarding the phone situation.

2. Your phone should be considered a means for people to communicate with you in case of an emergency.  If I am talking with you and your phone rings, the only polite response is to silence it and apologize for the interruption.  If you and I are talking and you are expecting an emergency call, you should have told me beforehand so that I could choose to continue with a potentially interrupted conversation or not.  It's rude in the extreme to take calls when you are in a face-to-face with someone else.  And don't get me started on those who choose to make a call when with a group of people!!!  Seriously?  Are the people with you not entertaining enough?  Do you need even more stimulation than your current group provides?  Shame on you.

3. In a restaurant setting - there are restaurants that do not allow cell phone conversations.  You should check before making calls while seated.  Just as you should check with your guests (see rule 2 above). Not to mention that restaurants have you seated in close proximity to other diners who did not come out to listen to you jabber on your phone (see rule 1 above).  The only call to take at a restaurant is from your dining companion who is calling to let you know he/she is stuck in traffic and will be arriving shortly or from your babysitter with an important question about your kids and knives.

4. Theater, concert, meetings - really?  It blows my mind that people have to be told over and over again to turn the damn phones OFF while attending any of these events.  And yet, even after being told, you will hear the T-Mobile jingle coming from some jackass' pocket or purse.  Turn them off or leave them at home.

5. Any other person's home or office - see rule 4 above.  Turn your phone off before you go inside.

6. Places of worship - Heee!  The rule I read said "leave your phone in the car.  God may call you but most likely it won't be via Verizon".  No phone necessary in church, temple, or wherever you are communing with your Higher Power.

7. Face to face with another - Have you seen these morons in line at Starbucks yammering away on their phones and they won't say "Hold the line a minute while I place my order"?  Have you ever seen anything ruder than expecting the barista to stand there cooling their heels while they go on with whatever was so fucking important they have the staff waiting and all the people in line behind them as well?  These people must be sooooo much more important than the rest of us peons.  Dickheads.  Shame on them for using such condescending behavior.  I bet they don't tip well either.  Obnoxious self-important wieners.

Your phone is a tool to communicate.  One of many tools you may employ throughout your day.  It is no substitute for face to face. And it should be used with discretion.

p.s. Mr. Big Ed just read this and said his biggest pet peeve regarding cell phones is idiots who use them in public restroom stalls.

Bad Service and Yelp

I have bitched and moaned before about bad service and how customer service in general has just gone in the toilet.  People flat out do not give a big hairy rat's ASS about your satisfaction at the end of a business transaction.  It's as if they have no inkling of an idea that you may, oh I don't know, ever want to darken their doors again!!


What the hell is up with this trend?  It is just getting worse.  People don't seem to know how to say please, thank you or come again.  And you know I am leading up to something that happened recently, don't you?

Just yesterday I ended up The Cove a local eatery.  It's one of those cute little places that sits between a laundromat and a car wash.  It has a beer garden, live music in the evenings, lots of beer and is known around here for being a vegetarian friendly, mostly local and organic food kind of place.  Really casual and on the funky side.  We eat there quite a bit actually.  The food is good.  It is not great by any means.  But it is good and you walk away feeling like you made a healthier choice than many other places you could have gone to.

But yesterday?  Not so much.

There's this one chick who works behind the counter taking orders who is just rude, doesn't seem too bright, isn't really with the program you might say.  And of course she was there.  Now, they have 2 registers but mostly only run with one of them and have people lined up and out the door waiting to place their orders.  So that's a problem right there.

Typically, I get salads or burgers.  But yesterday I was thinking about the nachos.  I have seen plates of nachos being delivered to other tables and they looked good.  On the chalk board menu waaaay up in the air above the counter it said "Bean and cheese nachos with avocado dip".  (wth is avocado dip?  is it guacamole? is it mayonnaise-y?)

So when it was my turn to go to the counter I asked the Rude Chick "What is the avocado dip on the nachos?"

Rude Chick: Oh, it's avocado mixed with sour cream.

Me:  That sounds really good.

RC: Yeah, it's got like pico de gallo stuff, tomatoes, onions, cilantro in it too.

Me:  No, I better not get that.  I don't eat onions.

RC:  Oh, you'll like this.  It's really good.

Me:  No, I don't do onions.  But, could I just get . . . .

RC: (interrupting me) No, it is already mixed in.  We can't take it out for you.  But you should try it.  it's really good.  You would like onions if you tried this.

Me:  No, I wasn't going to ask that.  I was going to ask . . .

RC: (interrupting me continually) Here, let me get this.  (she walks off and returns with a small cup of the dip stuff)  Taste it.  and she shoves it across the counter into my face.  Here, taste it!

Me: No, thank you.  I don't want it.  I am trying to tell you that I don't want it.

RC:  Well, are you allergic?

Me:  Let's just say I don't like them and they don't like me. (looking back at my friends in line, and wondering WTF)

RC:  If you would just taste this, you would like it.

Me:  No.  I didn't get to be 50 flipping years old without knowing what I like and don't like. No thank you.  (I was trying my best not to blow up on her triflin' ass, but she was making it extremely difficult)

RC:  Fine. Do you want beef or chicken on your nachos?

Me: You know what, I don't want any.  I am not eating here.  (And at this point the white hot rage that comes from the pit of your stomach and moves up had come up and hit the top of my head.  And I had had ENOUGH).

And I walked over to my friends and said "Sorry, but I can't eat here.  We'll have to meet another time".

And I left.

Yeah, I probably could have handled it better.  I could have stood there and demanded to see a manager and held up the line that was going on f o r e v e r.  I could have stood my ground and insisted that the Rude Chick not take my order and get someone else.  But at that moment I was just so completely over all the business of no one listening to me and taking my words seriously, that I could not imagine dragging this out any further.

But I did get on yelp.com and write a scathing review of the service.  My friend, the Mom of the Peach says that I should also call the owners and managers and tell them.  I don't know if I care to even bother.

If a place of business doesn't care enough to hire the best possible person to be the Face of the Company to all who walk in, why is it my business to tell them to handle their shit better?  Do it right or expect to lose customers.  That's it.

And as of right now, they have lost me.  I was going there about once every two weeks.  And I never went alone.  So that's a fair amount of business from one source.

The restaurant business is notorious for being hard to keep your head above water.  I have read that most businesses don't last 7 years.  It is a tough, very competitive line to be in.

All the more reason it would behoove the owners to make sure, make DAMN SURE that one rude employee who half-asses her job is not ruining their business.  Is this not Rule #1 in any business handbook anywhere?

Another thing about this particular restaurant's system that is bad is that the servers tip jar is at the register.  How many of the servers get short-changed on the tips due to the interaction with the Rude Chick behind the register?  My guess is a whole bunch.

What say you?  Should I follow up as a courtesy to the owners or managers of this establishment or just let it lie and not go back?

I'm back and flitting from topic to topic. Do try to keep up!

Hey, it has been a while.  I was on a pretty impromptu roadtrip with my sister so that was fun.  We sang along with Adele and the Backstreet Boys, because that is how we roll.  Ha!

So, today is 100 years since the Titanic sank and in honor of that the History Channel is showing a fabulous memorial tonight with lots of never before seen due to new technology just now finding it kind of stuff.  For those of us that are obsessed with Titanic and all the horrific sadness, this is a goldmine.  Be sure to set your dvr or tivo to record this bit of history.

Also, in t.v. update news!  Are y'all watching anything right now?  Let me tell you what all is on my dvr.

The Borgias - Showtime channel, fabulous series about the infamous family that ran the Vatican and Rome.  And you have to know anytime you can have Jeremy Irons playing someone evil it is gonna be good.

The Big C - Also on Showtime.  I think this is the 3rd season of this wonderful, thoughtful series starring Laura Linney and Oliver Platt.

Nurse Jackie - Showtime, yet again.  Showtime has some great series.  If you don't get this channel, why the hell not?

Game of Thrones - HBO - o.m.g.!!!  Watch it.

Eastbound and Down - HBO, Kenny Powers with a mullet!

Top Shot - History Channel, Colby Donaldson, cool guns, nice looking men, really cool blowing up of stuff, and Colby Donaldson, enough said.

Modern Family - ABC, Best. Flipping. Show. Ever.

Survivor - CBS.  What is more fun than watching idiots trust the wrong people and disaster ensues?

Amazing Race - CBS.  See above comment about Survivor.

Real Time with Bill Maher - HBO, I can not go more than a week without seeing his New Rules at the end of the show.  Awesome.

Jeopardy! - CBS.  Love Jeopardy!  and I also love yelling "Can it, Trebek!  or Suck it, Trebek! or It's HUN-DRED you morons, NOT HUNNERD!"  They may be able to pass the Jeopardy online quiz but they still can't pronounce hundred.  Idiots.

I can't think of what else my dvr records for me.  Sparky also has his shows recording, like Aqua Teen Hungerforce, Family Guy, Metalocolypse.  When they are on we don't miss It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League.  Those are both on FX.

Oh!  Also we watch (although this will be the final season coming up) Breaking Bad on AMC.

Quick!  Changing subjects.

Someone, I don't know who, recommended the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy to me.  Whoever it was, obviously doesn't know me.  I barely made it through book one.

It is such trite crap I could NOT believe it got greenlighted, or green lit or was given the thumbs up. Holy Moly, is it bad!

Please don't be taken in by the hype or the fact that book one has already been optioned for a movie. I can not even imagine how they will make this be not a boring, repetitive piece of porno trash.

There are not enough descriptive words to tell you how much I hated all the characters.  The female lead was so fucking annoying and stupid I couldn't even believe it.  The male lead?  Warped, controlling, and so strange it defied all logic that she would be soooo attracted to him that all her common sense would go right out the window.

What I'm saying is unless you are looking for s&m bondage porn laced with the worst and most repetitive dialogue, you don't want to bother with this piece of crap.

Did you try the brown rice crusted quiche recipe yet?  Please do.  I am sure you will like it.

What else has been going on around here that I wanted to talk about?

Oh!  I know what I have been trying to remember to tell you about!

Have you seen this ad?

I was watching this and thought to myself, "Self, if they took a whole shirt and made a dickie out of the top part, this is what is left over."

IT'S A DICKIE FOR YOUR ASS!

Where do they come up with this stuff?  And why, oh why, are we gullible enough to buy it?

Trendy Top, indeed.

Have a great day and I will be here to discuss some more ancestry.com findings in the next few days!

Sort of a rant. Or maybe a complaint. You be the judge.

So I go to Hobby Lobby as one does when one is looking to purchase some fabric.  I have a love/hate relationship with HL.  They carry so many things that I love.  They also carry a TON of cheap made in China crap that we need to quit importing.  I would love to be able to boycott HL, but I am not there yet.  I do put down anything cute I have picked up when I see the ubiquitous Made in China sticker on bottom though.

Anyhoo, I am the fabric department looking for, well, fabric!  I needed some black fabric to use as a table covering for an event we are attending as a sponsoring group.  So we are using black as our table background so that all our pretty bright colored brochures and things "pop" as all the designers say.

I roamed around and scoped out all the different solid black fabrics and picked out the one I wanted and took it to the big table where they cut it for you.  The HL fabric-cutting lady says "How much you need?"

To which I replied "Well, the tables are six feet and I want hang down on each side of 12 to 18 inches.  Let's say, 18 inches on each side.  So that's another 36 inches, plus the six feet.  Cut me a piece of 9 feet, please."

You are never going to believe what she said.

Are you ready?

Here's what she said.

"I can only do yards. How much is that in yards?"

Really?

W T F ???

She works in fabric.  She works in fabric cutting said fabric.  And she DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO CONVERT FEET TO YARDS!!!

And it was an easy one, too!  It wasn't like I said give me 8 5/8 feet and then she would have to break out the calculator that was right next to her.

Holy crap.  I can't be an old fart and curmudgeon and blame it on the young whippersnappers and their new-fangled math, because this lady was older than me.  She didn't know.  And worse, she didn't really seem to give two shits.

Rant Coming! Watch out

It has definitely been a while since I have ranted.  But there are a few things that have been irritating me. So why wouldn't I want to share them with you???


First up!  This has got to be the most obnoxious, insufferable frigging ad going.

Take a watch and tell me if this would induce you to want what they are selling:

Really???  "That's so 12 seconds ago"  Really?  Is this where we are as a people?  12 seconds ahead of our friends who we now think are so lame and un-cool.  Bet those friends never call you again on your SmartAss Phone.

What a bunch of dickheads.

Next up, ANOTHER douche-y ad trying to make you feel lame if you don't have the biggest, bestest and latest.

That commercial right there will keep me from EVER buying a fucking iPhone.  What is this?  Shame people into feeling so bad about their lives they just can't live without your product?

My phone has a droid market just like that app store, and I can scroll through it just as quickly and get the exact same apps FOR FREE and have them on my phone just as quickly.  Where is the advantage?

Sorry, but if your marketing tool is to make people feel less-than, you have lost me (and hopefully all others with any sense of self esteem) right there.  There is a line you cross when talking about how awesome your newest Thneed is and how remarkably stupid your Thneed-less target audience is, and AT&T and Apple have done this for me.

And this is how I feel about that.

And finally!!!  Here's what they really mean.   I couldn't say it any better than these guys:

It's been one of those mornings

You know the kind I mean.  The kind where you wake up in a bad mood and it goes down hill from there? That kind.

Lately morning has been starting about 5 o'dark thirty, with that no good sorry ass Angus MacPhee deciding it is time for e v e r y o n e to wake up.  And wake up the hard way.

What is the hard way, you might ask?

It starts with that little bastard Angus meowing.  Then he gets louder "MEEEOOOOW!"

Then he gets this really deep down, open up his throat meow going that gets so loud it's unbelievable!

"Rrrr, rrrrr, mrrrr-ooooowwwwwww!"

We have large industrial-sized squirt bottles filled with watered-down vinegar to blast any pet who gets out of line.  And Mr. Big Ed keeps one on his side of the bed at night for just such displays of douchiness.  So the morning has started.  Angus is yowling and acting like a dick.  Mr. Big Ed is squirting the bottle without aiming or opening his eyes and all the other pets are trying to get out of the line of vinegar fire.

Then Angus decides that it is time to move on to Phase Two of his "Kill the Morning Campaign". Phase Two looks like this:

On each side of our bed are night stands.  Each with lamps, alarm clocks, various reading materials, glasses of water, eyeglasses, cell phones, house phones.  You know, the usual night stand clutter.  And right behind those night stands?  Long skinny windows with those crappy metal mini-blinds in them.

So Angus bats at the metal blinds (making loads of noise in the process) until he gets them to flip forward enough that he can get in the window behind them and start the yowling process all over again.  That way he is up much closer to our heads so we can hear him all the better.  And he has his eye on you the whole time so that the minute you raise your head up to try and start throwing the other 4 cats off of the top of the covers so you can get out from underneath them and grab him, he has rattled out of the blinds and headed for the hills.

Sometimes he even goes for Phase Three.

Phase Three looks like Phase Two except for one thing.  Instead of going around the back side of the night stands to get into the blinds and make a ruckus?

HE GOES ON TOP OF THE NIGHT STANDS AND KNOCKS ALL THAT SHIT OFF OF THEM!!

If that weren't bad enough, he does it first on one side and then when we get all cleaned up and settled back down,

HE DOES IT TO THE OTHER NIGHT STAND!!

Angus is quickly using up all of his nine lives.

That's how the morning started today.  Then I had to get up and take Nikita Babushka (the Husky Princess) outside to pee. While she is out peeing and sniffing the air, I go get Maxwell Banks (the Schnauzer with Alzheimer's) and wake him up to go pee and what do I find?  He has woken up early and just peed and shit in the kitchen floor.  And then he had stepped in it.  And kept walking.

I didn't lose it yet.  I was calm and said to myself, "Self, you can just clean this up in just a bit. Get all the dogs out to pee, give the cats their treats and then worry about it."  Then I herded Max outside and went to wake up Ernest T. Bass to go outside.  (I always sing to him "Ernest T. Bass goes pee pee on the grass")

During the 2 - 3 minutes it took me to go get Ernest T. and walk back towards the back door, Nikita had taken a big shit right in the family room.  She had just been outside and walked back inside and shit on my floor.  Bitch.

Ernest T. and I stepped around it and I took him outside and brought Max in and was starting to cuss all these damn animals under my breath.

Then I got the paper towels, spray bottle of cleaner, the swiffer and those wet swiffer sheet things and the trash can and was getting ready to clean up all the floors when my phone rang.

I almost didn't answer it, but I saw on the caller i.d. thing that it was my neighbor, The Colonel.  Since he turned 90 on Easter this year, I wouldn't feel right ducking his call.  What if he or the lovely Miss Betty had fallen or something?

So I answered it.  And he started in telling me this story of how their across the street neighbor had called them to tell them that she had seen a strange looking vehicle pull up in their driveway (The Colonel's driveway) and that a black man had gotten out of the car!!  Then TC & MB dog, Fifi had set up barking and raising cain so the black man had run back to his car and high-tailed it out of there, taking a section of their retaining wall with him.

So far this is a pretty good story since we do tend to keep the neighborhood in the loop of potential burglaries and such.  But then I guess The Col. got comfortable with his story and he started referring to the black man as the n-word.  We all know the word.  I use a lot of words.  I use a lot of really good swear words.  Never do I use that word.  Never.  And it took my poor brain a few seconds to digest the fact that he had in fact, actually said that word.  Out loud.  And assumed that it was okay to use that word with me.



So I hung up and then looked at all the dog shit and piss I had to clean.  And I cleaned it all up and then mopped the floor.

All this BEFORE I had my cup of tea.  BEFORE.

I am now drinking my tea and typing about the shitty morning I have had.  All of which started with that little douchebag Angus MacPhee.  Angus, who likes to sleep all day.  Angus, who takes really long cat naps during the day.  Angus, who will be woken up every chance I get today.  Every time I see that little bastard sleeping I am going to wake him up.  Gleefully!

No sleep for Angus!

How's your morning?

It's that time again!

Ok, you know how the name of this here blog is LisaPie's Musings, Ramblings & Rants??


Today is kind of a Ranting day.  Aren't you glad you tuned in after I have taken a 2 week long hiatus?

Things on my Rant/Bitch List:

1. Idiots on Jeopardy!, pay attention!  Listen closely.

THE WORD IS HUNDRED.  hunDRED.

It is NOT Hunnerd.  If you say hunnerd, you should be disqualified and be forced to let Alex Trebek talk to you non-stop for 3 full weeks.  Quit saying hunnerd, you lower your iq by a hunDRED points every time you do it.

2. When you abbreviate things as we all do, would it kill you to use the correct "Fridge" for refrigerator rather than Frig??  Makes me want to say "What frigging thing are you talking about now?"

3. I read a book this past weekend.  It was a small paperback that I found in the bottom of an overnight bag I hadn't used in a couple years.  I have no idea where this book came from.  Certainly someone passed it on to me because I didn't buy it.  It was fair to middling.  If I were grading it I would give it a C-.  The reason I bring it up at all is the typos!

Did I ever tell you that in a former life I used to work in printing?  I did typesetting and proofreading.  I loved it.  It was a really fun job.  It was all creative, fun and yet very precise at the same time.  Since everything has gone to the digital age and proofreaders have become as obselete as real corks in real wine bottles, it seems that standards have also fallen by the wayside.

I don't care what you are reading, a blog, a newspaper, an obituary, a crummy paperback, a novel from a very talented author, or a comic book; there will be a typo.  Magazines have them.  Menus?  They are the WORST!  Oh Lordy, reading a menu can be excruciating!

What the hell is wrong with people?  No one cares?

And saying this I know full well that someone will comment and point out a rather glaring misspelling of my very own.  This is my own failing when I get all excited, flustered and on my high horse about something and then just push the button for Publish Post rather than spell check first.  So that's okay.  I understand that about myself and I hope that you will take this blog with it's grammatical failings for what it is, just my little way of sharing a bit of myself.  Warts and all, as they say.

4. The last thing I want to rant/bitch about is people lacking basic kindness for our fellow man.  Can we please be kind and considerate with each other?  You and I don't know what the person in the next house/office/car are going through.  Would it kill us to be nice?  Can't we let that person merge into our lane?  Can we see that it's not all about us?  The world does not revolve around you, or me.  Let's just find a way to treat each other with the respect and consideration that we would like our mothers and children to have.  I would say "as you would like to be treated", but there are a ton of people out there who don't really care about themselves and get trampled on a daily basis, but they would stand up for their loved ones.

That's it.  I am done bitching today.  I am sorry that I have taken such a break from this blog and you have probably lost all interest.  Things have just not been easy around here and I couldn't come up with anything positive to say.  My next post will be much sooner and it will positive.  Promise.

Thanks for listening.

Doing the Can Can

Recently I made a King Ranch Chicken Casserole which I love, but haven't made in a very long time. Partially due to the fact that it requires 5,233,739 cans to open.

Have I ever told you how much I hate a recipe that is really just "open 10 cans out of your pantry and mix together" type recipes?  This is why I hate, loathe, and despise that horrid Sandra Lee "Semi Homemade" travesty of a cooking show.  That is NOT a cooking show!!  That is a "let's justify being lazy" show.

Anyhoo, I was making King Ranch Chicken and opening up the  5,233,739 cans.  And what did I spy inside these cans?

Some of them have that crappy BPA plastic coating and some do not.  Those companies that do are going to be getting letters from me complaining, and those that do NOT will be getting Attaboy letters from me.

Do y'all know about the BPA stuff?  It stands for Bisphenol A, a chemical which can mimic human estrogen and which is linked to breast cancer and early puberty in women.  You know how over the last 15 years or so people have been blaming the meat and dairy industries for all the hormones causing 9 year old girls to start puberty?  Well, the canned food people need to shoulder their part of the blame on this one.


What I am saying is this BPA is bad news.  We don't need it.


Let me show you my cans.

There are all sorts of brands of cans I used there, but the two that stand out as being bad in that they are lined with the dreaded BPA are two of my favorite canned products.


Ro-Tel tomatoes & chiles and also Hatch brand Green Chile Enchilada Sauce.


It is a sad day when I have to tell these two companies that if they don't change their process of adding white plastic lining to the inside of their cans, I can't buy from them again.  But there it is.


Does anyone know and can anyone effectively explain to me why on earth anyone thought we needed this?  Why do we need to take perfectly good metal cans and paint carcinogenic cancer on the inside of them?  Do my tomatoes care if they are in white or shiney silver metal?  Does my body care if my tomatoes come with extra carcinogens for free?  Why yes, it does!


I will let you know if and when I hear back from Ro-Tel and Hatch.  In the meantime, check your cans.  Do you use many canned products?  If so, how many of them have the BPA lining?  Do you care?  Do you care enough to write companies and demand change?  Or do you care enough to find an alternative that is packaged in a safer manner?

TLC can bite me. And they need to change their name!

*Warning, ranting ahead.  Read at your own risk*

You know how at the end of Real Time each week, Bill Maher reads his list of New Rules?

I LOVE THAT!  I WANT TO DO THAT, TOO!

Today's new rule:

TLC (which stands for The Learning Channel) must change their name.  If they have to keep TLC  as their call letters, then I propose the following:

Totally Lame Channel


or possibly

Tabloid Leering Cameras


Seriously!  What gives?  This channel started out as The Learning Channel and had some decent programming back in the day.  Watching it now?  Will cause brain rot.  It's totally voyeuristic crap.

Does anyone care about Michelle & Jim Bob and their herd?

How about all those shows about little people?

Toddlers & Tiaras?  (which I heard described as the training grounds to get on MTV's 16 & Pregnant)

What about the miriad of Say Yes to the Dress shows?  Learn anything from that show?

Or the highly educational Sister Wives?

Ooohh!  What about those Extreme Couponing weirdos?

I am sorry but, this whole damn network has gone straight in the toilet.  They should be ashamed of what they put out in the name of Learning.

And that is my rant for the day.

p.s. It is also National Talk Like a Pirate Day!  So get your Pirate name and wear a patch and say "Aaarrgh" in front of all your sentences.  Have fun out there!

Ranting. again.

I have decided I am on the path to becoming a curmudgeon.  And I like it that way.

Here are a few things that have irritated the beejeebers out of me lately:

1. Initials.  Wtf is up with companies wanting to go by initials and distancing themselves from their original names?  Case in point:  DQ

We know this stands for Dairy Queen.  Is it the Dairy or the Queen they want to avoid?

How about KFC?   It stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Do they think if they don't call it that, we will all relax and go eat a bucket full and think it is NOT fried?

And while we are on Kentucky Fried Chicken, what is up with those idiots using Sweet Home ALABAMA as the theme song of their commercials?   Is Kentucky in Alabama?  Not the last I looked at a map, it wasn't.

P&G, same thing.  Procter and Gamble, is that so hard to say?  It's two more syllables to say the name correctly.

2. Remember recently when I was bitching about the moron contestants on Jeopardy! who say "hunnerd"? Well, it still bothers me.

3. Lately, I have noticed a huge increase in the spelling errors on the news.  When they put the headlines across the bottom of the t.v. screen, or in the crawl below that (both of which annoy the crap out of me) they have more and more errors all the time.  What is up with that?  Are there no standards at CNN?  Does no one really give a shit anymore?

4. I went to a TGI Fridays today for lunch and believe me when I tell you it is the last time I will make that mistake.  2 or 3 weeks ago I met some friends there for lunch and they had notices taped up at eye-level all over the front doors telling us that their credit card machines were down and they were only able to accept cash.  Ok, that's understandable.  Today, there were more notices on the doors saying that all their grills were broken and you could not order burgers, steaks or anything grilled.  Wtf?

So when I walked in the ditzy girl/hostess person says to me, "Hi, welcome to Fridays. Did you see the signs?"  To which I replied "Yes I did, and the last time I was here you had signs about the credit card machines."  She just looked at me with a vacant look in her eyes and asked if I wanted a table or booth. Dumb ass.  No acknowledgement of yes, this happened.  No friendly banter with the customer to smooth over the fact that this place is falling apart.  Nothing.

Yep, last time at Fridays.

Speaking of chain food places that have gone downhill, have any of you noticed how shitty things have gotten at Chili's?  Over the last couple of years the quality of the food and service have just plummeted. We decided the last time we were there many months ago, that it would be the very last time.

Listen, the long list of chain restaurants that I have given up just keeps growing and growing.  Applebee's, Mickey D's, Burger King, Whataburger, Chili's, P.F. Chang's, Melting Pot, Ruby Tuesday's, IHOP (more initials), those are the ones I can think of right off the top of my head.  It was 2002 when I last went to a Burger King.

I don't miss any of those places and I guess they don't miss me either.

5. MTV's show 16 and Pregnant hit an all-time low last night.  I was yelling at the t.v. the whole time it was on and towards the end I just got sad and depressed.  Good Lord, it was the worst one yet.  The mom of this girl was so unplugged from her daughter's life it just made me want to alternately cry in despair or grab that woman by the neck and throttle her.  Holy shit.  This poor girl is anorexic and just crying out (figuratively and literally) for her mama to get involved and help her.  Absolutely broke my heart.  The only saving grace of this situation is that the boyfriend/baby daddy was a really good guy with an optimistic outlook and more patience than should be legal.  My heart was just breaking for this girl, the boyfriend, and the little baby.  So so sad.

In addition to the "teen pregnancy is 100% preventable" disclaimer they also had to throw up some for eating disorders.  Oh!  And get this!  When the girl was asking for help to figure out how to manage her food intake and such, the doctor just gave her a lame-ass response about eating fruit instead of cookies.  Not exactly helpful.  Especially since they should have had a full work up and been aware of the eating disorder and been more proactive with her diet.

I think I am grumpy and giving over to my curmudgeonly urges due to the fact that I am STILL getting up at the crack of dawn most every day, and I still have at least 10 more days of doing this.  So I will do my best to be perky, chipper and full of pep with my next post.

Feel free to share a few rants and let me know what bugs you.

A small, teensy rant, and then I am done being mean.

It is apparent by the lack of readers the past week or so that y'all don't have anything to say about me ranting and bitching.  Or could it be that your mamas told you to not say anything if you couldn't say anything nice?  Whichever it is, I promise to quit.

Right after this one.

Sorry, but I just HAVE to get this off my chest.


Here goes!

People who go on Jeopardy are perceived as smarter, of higher intelligence than the average bear, or are just well-educated.  Right?

Well, lately you can't go one day without some MORON contestant on Jeopardy saying the following:

"I'll take Cats who wear Pants (or whatever category) for SIX HUNNERD DOLLARS, Alex"

Huh?

Hunnerd?

Been speaking English long, Bub?

Makes my skin crawl, that one.

And the way ole Alex Trebek is always "Aww, sorry, you said the really complicated long-ass French answer just a hair off, so we are going to penalize the hell out of you" in his smug and smarmy way, makes me wonder if he wants to say to them "Aww, we are so sorry but the value of that category is SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS, so obviously we have to take away the TWELVE HUNNERD DOLLARS from you for being a dumb ass!"

And just for the record as much as Alex Trebek ticks me off, I can not imagine anyone else doing that job.  Nope, not one single person comes to mind.

Hilarity in my house is me and Sparky sitting on the couch watching Jeopardy and yelling at the t.v.  We yell the answers. (Sometimes we both yell the same right answer and sometimes one of us is wrong, but we try not to make fun of each other since the next time it will be the other way round)  We yell at the contestants. (You idiot!  for example)  We yell at Alex Trebek. (Sparky says he wants to go on Jeopardy just so he can say "Can it, Trebek" when Alex gets long-winded)  What I am saying is there is a lot of yelling going on.

I know, I know, it sounds like we are a couple of smarty-pants (or smart asses) but I am humble enough to know that I am only good at Jeopardy in the comfort of my own home.  If I were ever to make it to the stage, I would probably freeze like a deer in headlights and say something stupid like "I'll take NUKUE-LAR energy for FOUR HUNNERD DOLLARS, ALAN".

Rant. (It has been a while, ya know)

I will make this short and to the point.

It irritates the beejeebers right out of me when companies use a spokesperson with a fake foreign accent in their ads.

You know what I am talking about.  Hello, Outback Steakhouse.

If you watch t.v. or even listen to the radio, you have heard these ads.  Is the American public so stupid and gullible that we will buy any Made in China piece of crap if you get some person to imitate a British, French, or Australian accent?

I would be willing to bet dollars to donuts that you can't go a whole day, meaning 24 hours, with regular amounts of t.v. or radio on without hearing some lame-ass fake accent trying to guilt you into buying something.

Just for the record, if you are selling something and you decide to use the fake-accent person to sell it,

you won't be selling to me!!!!!

and in other news . . . .

So this morning I was perusing the news and what did I find?  An article about zebras.  Zebras that belong to the Hearst family and live at the Hearst Castle.  That's interesting, right?

There they are!  Zebras are awfully cute, aren't they?  Made me wonder if they could be domesticated and used like horses.  You know, to pull a buggy or put a saddle on them and ride them.  Or if they run fast and wanted to race.  (They do need to outrun the occasional lion, you know!)

According to the article when Mr. William Randolph Hearst built the castle way back in the day, he populated the grounds with lots of wild animals.  And why wouldn't he?  So the zebras who are there now are the descendants of the original zebras. (Really?  Really?  Did they need to explain that to us?  Would we be thinking they had gone off the hill and mated with some low-class local from the hood zebras?  Of course!! They are descendants of the original zebras!  There ARE no local zebras)  Ye Gads!

The article goes on to state that three of the Hearst zebras took off and were shot by neighbors.  wtf?

William Randolph Hearst's great-grandson, Steve Hearst, said the ranchers should have called the Hearst Ranch to report the runaway zebras.

"Neighbors are usually there to help their neighbors, not shoot their zebras," Hearst said. "It's a shame they took that action."

Words to live by, people.  "Neighbors are usually there to help their neighbors, not shoot their zebras." I can't tell you how many times that thought has crossed my mind and also come up in conversation. Bah!!

Then we further read that the dickhead neighbor not only shot the zebras but he took them to a taxidermy place to have the hides tanned.  "No point in wasting the hides" he said.  Hmmmpphh.

All I am going to say about that is that Karma can be a bitch, Mr. Zebra shooting, hide stealing neighbor man.  Shame, shame, shame.

If any of my neighbors' pets, be they zebras or aardvarks or dogs, were to meander over to my property I can promise you that the absolute LAST thing in my mind would be to shoot said critter and tan its hide for my own personal gain.  

Musings and maybe a Rant

Well, here it is almost the end of the year.  Time for people to take stock.  Time to re-evaluate their goals, and dreams.  And what has been at the forefront of my brain lately?

WHO ARE THE COMPLETE DOUCHE BAG IDIOTS WHO RUN BURGER KING'S AD CAMPAIGNS???

I ask you, who is in charge of what passes for ads for those idiots?  I haven't stepped foot in a BK in almost 8 years and I aim to keep it that way.  Shame on them!

Watch this creepiness


Back when Quizno's had their horrible little furry creature ads I went quite a long time without going in there.  Bleechh!  I kept getting a mental picture of their food being made from those nasty things.

Check them out here, if you dare!

When I am at Walgreen's (my favorite store) I always buy the Walgreen's brand of Mucinex, because I can't stand those horrible green slimy boogery mucus slobs in their ads.  I do like the product, it works really well, but I am not supporting them and their disgusting ads.

Don't watch this one if you have a weak stomach.  Mucinex ad


Do you have ads that you hate?  If so, will the ad keep you from shopping at that store, buying that product or however you boycott lameness?

Do you have any favorite ads?  Ads that make you happy or touch you?  Will the ad cause you to want to go to that store or buy that product?

Here are a couple of my favorite ads.  Enjoy!

Geico Therapist ad


Geico woodchucks


Jeep Liberty


and if this ad doesn't make you tear up, you must be missing your empathy bone.


And in keeping with the season, here is a great oldie but goody!

It's Back!

It's back.  My lower back has gone out again.  It's my back.  It appears to be sciatica.  I am sorry but this is not fun.  Second time in a month.

I am trying my best to treat my back like an extra-special VIP.  As if my back had turned into Sean P. Diddy Puffy Combs or something.  I would offer to serve it some classy champagne if it would help.

I am taking my homeopathic go-to, Arnica.  I am taking naproxen at night.  And I am alternating ice and heat.  I went yesterday and got a great massage. And I am trying to rest my back all I can.  So I am trying to be really on top of things.

Anyhoo, today I got into my bookshelves of complimentary and alternative medicine books to see what else I could be doing.  One recommendation was to get lots of potassium, so I will certainly do that.  There were some great tips on accupressure points I should be working and other vitamin and supplements.  But here is some information I was surprised at:

"Activities that are good for the back include swimming, cycling, walking, and rowing."  Rowing?  Really?  I don't hardly think so.


Then it further states: "Avoid the following activities: Baseball, basketball, football. The quick responses needed for these sports involve sudden twisting and jumping motions."  Imagine that.  Jumping and twisting motions needed for basketball.  What kind of idiots do they think are reading this?


"Bowling. Lifting a heavy weight while bending and twisting puts strain on the back."  Does it now?


There were several others listed, one just as stupid as the next.  And then we get to the last one.

"Weightlifting. This sport is potentially the most damaging because it places great strain on the lower portion of the spine and back."  wtf???


Seriously?  If you have purchased this book you are obviously interested in doing the best you can for your body.  And if you are now reading the section on sciatica and back pain, what kind of a big dumb ass would you be if you were also indulging in light happy round of weightlifting?  I guess you have to prepare for every eventuality when you offer advice.

This is exactly the kind of situation that makes me think about the dumbing-down of the human race.  I will go and be grumpy now and look for some potassium, calcium and magnesium rich foods.  But I guess I will have to cancel my exciting day of weightlifting, rowing and shooting some hoops.  Darn.