25

This is one of those posts where you are gonna get really tired of old cliche's, like kids grow like weeds.  You know the old saws people trot out all the time, the same ones you swear you will never say because it makes you sound older than dirt?  Well, get ready!

Today is my son's 25th birthday.  It is so unbelievable to me that I need to say it again.  Today is my son's 25th birthday.


Here's where those old sayings come into play.  Time has flown by.  It seems like only yesterday.  How can he be 25 when I still feel like I am 25?

So last night we had to talk all about the night before his birth.  My whole pregnancy I didn't really eat meat.  I had no desire for it.  I ate a lot of beans, mac & cheese, really bland stuff.  But that night I had a real craving for a spicy chili cheese dog.  So that's what we had.  And I was up all night with gall bladder pain like you would not believe.  Horrendous!  And when I am in pain all I want is to be in warm water.  I spent most of the night in the bathtub floating around like a big pregnant whale.  I finally got into bed in the early morning hours and slept.  I woke up around 8 a.m. and was easing myself out of bed when my water broke.  We called the doctor and you know the drill.  If your water has broken they would like to see you at the hospital sooner rather than later.  This labor was pretty easy, but my guess is after the horrible pain I was in the night before, labor was a piece of cake.  When I finally decided I could use some drugs, it was too late.  It was time to birth this child.

Jonathon Karrol came into the world at 4:04 p.m. on a Thursday.  He was 8' 8" and 19 1/2" long.  He had a full head of hair and was absolutely perfect.  I can't imagine a thing that I would have changed about him. He and I learned together and from each other how to be parent and child.  My body knew how to birth him and then to produce milk and I was smart enough or naive enough to just believe that it would happen and all would be well.  It was.  At his first check-up he had increased to 10 lbs.

My heart was overflowing.  No one can ever explain to you how deeply you will fall in love when you give birth.  It is the most all-consuming thing.  Everything else around you ceases to exist when you are looking into the eyes of this little miracle.

This is Jonathon at 6 months.  Most of his baby hair had just fallen out and he looked like one of those little old men who are thinning on top.  Look at that sweet face, those sausage-y fingers, his little fat nose.

These are my two pumpkins on Halloween of 1989 or 1990.  They wore those costumes both years.

This is Jonathon's first school play.  Obviously he and his best friend were being Indians and Pilgrims for Thanksgiving.  Even more obvious is that they made their own costumes at school.  So cute.  When Jonathon started school at age 4 he walked up to this boy Andy and said Hi.  He just stood there every day and said Hi, until Andy decided to be his friend.  Andy was 5 and in the Kinder class and didn't know Jonathon from Adam, but this is the way Jonathon is.  He makes friends everywhere he goes.  This was the start of his career as the Social Butterfly.

This is when Jonathon was about 5 years old.  The other boy with him is the son of some good friends and he has since grown up to be a huge defensive lineman for the NFL.

This is Jonathon and my grandma 2 years ago on her 90th birthday.

This is my boy (and Johnny Cash)  presenting me with a white chocolate raspberry cheesecake he made me for Mother's Day a couple years ago.

Another view of the best smile in the world.

This is my boy.  I have loved him from before he was born.  I have loved him through the hard times of seeing his grandpas die of cancer, of the loss of pets, the broken hearts each and every time we had to move and uproot the kids and plant them in a new place and have them start all over again making friends.  I have loved him through the times where he has struggled mightily and I thought I would have to kill him or myself to get through to the other side.

The place we live may change.  The people around us may change.  Life's difficulties may change our circumstances.  But the one constant is our love for each other.  There is absolutely nothing I won't do for my kids.  They know I would walk through fire for them.

This first 25 years have literally flown by.  I hope that I am here to witness your next 25 and beyond.  I am always proud of you and the fine man you have grown to be.  You are full of character and understanding, you have empathy for your fellow man.  The world is truly a much better place with you in it.  I am constantly amazed at you and the impact you make on those around you.

I love you Jonathon, my Sparky boy.  Happy birthday.

Music

My free association post the other day got me to thinking about my favorite music.  And that leads to thinking about how certain songs or bands evoke memories that are as real today as they were the first time you heard that song.  Interesting, isn't it?

So without further ado, here are some of my favorites, my go-to music, the songs that make my heart sing, or make me nostalgic, you get the idea.

1. Anything by Jerry Jeff Walker.  If you grew up in Texas in the '70s then you know all about the JJW, Waylon Jennings, Gary P. Nunn, Willie Nelson style of music that was popular.  Note: this is where that great song by the douche bag David Allan Coe comes in.  I used to have a running debate with a friend over who was better, Jerry Jeff or Jimmy Buffett.  They are both great, they just have their own style. Jimmy Buffett took Florida and the Caribbean and Jerry Jeff took Texas.

2. Now I have to follow up Jerry Jeff with Jimmy Buffett, because one leads to the other in my memories.

3. AC/DC - seriously the BEST!  When I have an all day long cooking affair going in the kitchen, you can bet your ass that AC/DC will be being blasted.  Keeps your energy up and keeps you moving.

4. Eros Ramazzotti - If you haven't heard his voice before you are in for a treat.  Go here and check it out.  When one of my favorite movies came out "Only You" with Robert Downey Jr. and Marissa Tomei, I noticed that Eros Ramazzotti music kept playing in the background when they were in Italy.

5. Mary Chapin Carpenter - One of my favorite songs Passionate Kisses seems like an anthem we should all wish for ourselves and our daughters.

6. Praan - this is the name of the song that is the soundtrack to Where the Hell is Matt  This is one of my favorite sites to visit.  Watch this video if you need to be uplifted.  It is impossible to frown and be sad while watching and listening.

7. Andrea Bocelli - If you are cooking or eating Italian food you may want to throw some Andrea Bocelli on to enhance that experience.  This song will surely make your heart sing.

8. Patsy Cline - I can't even imagine life without Patsy Cline.  And it's one of those heartbreaking things to think of how much we were all robbed by her dying so young.  Here is a little video of Patsy.

9. 70's Soul Music!!  Most especially Al Green.  I swear I don't know why I was born such a white girl. If I wasn't, I would have been rocking a big afro in the '70s, that is for sure.  I know that Memphis is home to Elvis and Graceland, but for me?  No other reason to go except to see Rev. Al Green. Enjoy a little music to take you back, won't you?

10. and finally to round out the Top 10, Marvin Gaye.  We all know his hits, but if you haven't seen him sing this you need to click over right now.  Marvin, r.i.p. We love you and miss you.

Obit Reading and Reviewing

I haven't written about the local obituaries in a while.  Other than to mention that we had another Ignatz the other day.  Isn't it hilarious how you never hear something your whole life and then all the sudden, BAM!!

Everywhere you look there's another Boleslaw or Ignatz.

So, anyhoo I was thinking about names that are funny in their own right.  I used to do payroll many moons ago for a produce company and came across some real zingers.  A couple of my favorites were Dolores Flores and Ignacio Yznaga.  You will never forget a name like that!  Never will you say "Remember ol' Ignacio?  What was his last name?"

My sister and her husband were comparing funny family names way back in the day and his family beat us hands down with this one:

Fleta Fay Naselrode

I am quite sure that Miss Fleta Fay was a lovely woman and we would have loved her.  But how can you possibly say Fleta Fay Naselrode out loud and not giggle?  For more than 30 years Fleta Fay has held the record for best name.  I have never seen another Fleta until Sunday. . . . .

Right there in the obits was a Fleta Louise.  And she was named after her mama who was also a Fleta Louise.

But the most grammatically awkward sentence goes to:

"Beulah Kathryn, lovingly known as Bea, born on November, 1915 in xxx County, Ohio, had her joyous reunion with her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ on Tuesday, July 20, 2010 early morning, peacefully in her sleep."

I just wanted to yell, take a breath!  use a period!

And what is with listing ex-wives and fiances and unborn babies as survivors?  That's a little weird and unnecessary.  Also, the listing of nicknames.  This week we had John known as Jack, the aforementioned Beaulah = Bea, Duane a.k.a. Bill, another John known as Sparky,  and lastly Elmer a.k.a. Bobo.  I am just thinking you may want to let your friends know that even though they have always called you Bill, your name is Duane sometime before you are dead.

My friend and sister-obit reader, Patty Cakes, and I have been discussing writing our own or at least each other's obits to make sure they are done well.  The main thing is to leave pertinent facts for future generations who are researching their geneology, but when we come across one that is so beautifully and lovingly written that it makes us cry; well that's when we feel someone has really made a tribute to their loved one.  Like this one, "Those who knew his background and the story of his success through hard work admired him greatly. He has been a fine example to all whose lives have been touched by his generosity and kindness."

Generous and kind, that is a beautiful tribute.  I love that.

Something I am passionate about

I love games.  I may have mentioned this before.  I love card games, board games, dice games, dominoes, even jigsaw puzzles which I guess, technically are not games.  But in my house the puzzles are on the shelves with the games.  Games = fun.

And my favorite game is . . . . . .

Mah Jongg!

Yea for Mah Jongg!

In addition to sharing a bit about this fun game and hoping to recruit some new players, I am also wanting to correct a misconception.  Nothing irritates the beejeebers out of me more than a perfectly good thing becoming twisted into some perverted thing that does not resemble the original and yet still keeping the same name.  Here are a couple of examples of this perversion:

Fajitas.  I have ranted about this for years.  I have grumbled and bitched about this.  I have muttered under my breath and yes, I have resorted to smart-ass sarcasm.  Fajita is a Spanish word.  It means little belt or skirt.  The word is faja, and fajita is the diminutive.  This is the Spanish word for skirt steaks.  Skirt steaks come from cows.  It is a cut of beef, like a pot roast or short ribs.  Do chickens have pot roasts? Do shrimp have short ribs?  Can either of their animals produce a skirt steak?  Quit using that word to mean any possible thing I want to mix with peppers and onions and stick on a sizzling cast iron skillet.  OMG, you just don't know how much this irritates me.  You can bet your sweet ass that I will never order such an abomination and if it is on your menu, there is a really high probablility that I will never darken your doors again.  Be forewarned restaurantiers!!

Right now I am so het up about the fajitas that I can't recall what my second example was going to be. So, on to the Mah Jongg!

Here is what a beautiful Chinese set of Mah Jongg tiles looks like:

And here is a set of American style Mah Jongg tiles:

Aren't they all gorgeous?  I love the tiles.  

Here are some close ups of the actual tiles:

These tiles above are vintage and are the butterscotch color Bakelite, one of the precursors of plastic.

Look at these gorgeous tiles!  They are 2 pieces dove-tailed together.  Typically they are bamboo and old cow bones.  Some of the antique sets have ivory rather than cow bone.

Look how cute this little group of Mah Jongg players are!  This is an American group.  You can tell by the set they are playing with, the colorful tile racks in front of each player and that they also have the distinctive National Mah Jongg League playing card in front of them.  Or you could just assume they are Americans by virtue of the fact that they all look pretty white and non-Asian.

Above this is a closer-up view of more Americans playing with their American version of tiles, racks and cards.

This a shot of the NMJL card for 2008.  The NMJL is in NYC for your FYI.  Ha ha ha ha!!  NY Jewish women are credited for bringing Mah Jongg to the U.S. and making it their own.  Their website is great for information on how to play, where to buy a set, how to get replacement tiles in case you find an old set that is short a tile or two, whatever you need to get your Mah Jongg game up and running, these women have the scoop for you.

Basically the difference between American Mah Jongg and all the other versions out there is the card.  In all other versions you kind of make up your own hands, like playing Gin or Rummy.  In our games the NMJL comes out with a new card each year around Chinese New Year of different hands to play for and point values for each.  They are way more difficult than any hands I would be making up for my own self, that is for sure.

And now I come to my rant and bitch about the subversion of Mah Jongg.  Every time Mah Jongg gets brought up in conversation there is some moron who says "Oh, I love Mah Jongg!  I play that kind of Solitaire on the computer all the time!"  Would you say to a world-class Bridge or Poker player that you know how to play Bridge or Poker because you play Solitaire with cards?  

Well, you shouldn't.  Just because the computer gaming folks came up with some fun Solitaire games that involve some Mah Jongg tiles doesn't mean that you are now a Mah Jongg player. 

Any more than shrimp have grown skirt steaks.

I know, I am a curmudgeon.  Sue me.  

Free Association

No, I am not here to talk about organization you need to join.  Free association day will be things that immediately take me to something/someone else.  Like this:

peanut butter - jelly.  See what I mean?  But for me it is more specifically this:

Jif peanut butter - Welch's grape jelly

So here goes!

A&W - first off I would think of cold frosty glass mugs of root beer.  But then I would think of my 2 cats I had back in college that I named Alice and Wallace (A&W).  They were evil and bad cats.  E-vil like the fru-its of the dev-il as Mike Myers would say in So I Married an Axe Murderer.  Anyhoo, after I took them down and got them fixed, one of my co-workers came in and started laughing and told me that I should now call them "Eggless Alice and Ball-less Wallace".  Hahahahahaha!!  Now THAT was a hoot!

Oh, and by the by?  Alice and Wallace?  I gave them to my little paper girl.  I had my newspaper delivered by a little girl.  She was probably 10-12 and her dad drove her all around on her paper route.  She was the cutest thing.  The first time she came to collect I asked her how much I owed her and you won't believe what she said.

"Do you want the total with or without the tip included?"

Ha!  Now there is a clever child!  She used to stop in and play with the cats all the time and always told me how much she wanted them.  And finally one day, those 2 hell cats had torn up, chewed and ruined one too many things and had gotten on my last nerve.  So the next time she said she wanted them, I asked the dad if she could really have them and loaded up their food and litter and such and off they went.  I did miss them occasionally, but damn, they were destructive and needed something more than I was providing.  I know they were happier with the paper girl.  She brought over pictures of them getting to play outside and climb trees and such.

David Allan Coe - I think we can all agree that DAC is a freak.  But he had a very successful song that was out when I was in high school.  Go Here if you want to hear it.  When the first notes of this song start, I am immediately back at that time, drinking Lone Star beer in a longneck bottle, singing at the top of my lungs with all my friends.  This song was the Margaritaville for my high school years.  So,  freak or not, thank you to DAC for providing me with so many opportunities to sing my heart out!

Car Exhaust in Mexico - I know, this one is a bit weird.  But I just admitted to liking a David Allan Coe song and we know what a mysogenistic racist dick he is, so just go with me on this one.  There is something about crossing the border and walking around a plaza in a Mexican town with all the fun little shops and restaurants, bars and what-not, that is one of my favorite things to do.  And you can't experience walking the streets in Mexico without smelling the car exhaust.  I don't know why it smells different over there than it does here, but it does.  So that smell?  It reminds me of some of the most fun I have had.

Mariachi Music - See above.  You can't experience Mexico without mariachi music.  It's just not possible.  And it is quite possible that as the evening grows long and the tequila gets drunk, you magically know all the words and can sing along.  I have seen it happen.

Christmas Trees -  Seriously, this has to be one of the best memory triggers.  My birthday is in early December.  And every year we had to have the tree up and decorated before my birthday.  When I was little my mom thought all Christmas trees should be real and flocked, have only blue lights and all the decorations were blue and silver.  So I would always have my birthday party as a slumber party and we would all lay our sleeping bags around the tree and have the blue lights on and lay there and talk and giggle and do the things girls do at slumber parties, which is NEVER sleeping.  We were all best friends with our next door neighbors and during the same time period, their father died and my parents got divorced, so we were two moms and a passle of kids spending holidays together.  And since 2 of their kids were allergic to real trees, we got a fake tree so that we could all be together.  Fake trees have their place and they may look good, but they don't have that real tree smell, so it sure is a trade-off to have one.  The ecological side of me insists we keep our artificial tree and not chop down any more real trees, but the nostalgic side really misses the real tree.

Anyone have any free associations they want to share?  Lemme hear 'em!

Reality t.v. stuff and tidbits

I had no intention of posting about reality t.v. today until I read THIS.  Go ahead.  Go read this short, couple of paragraph long article and come back so we can discuss it.

What do you think?  I like it!  However, you know how people like to play these games pretending to be not as rich, or not as famous or whatever than they really are?  My guess is he would have a very hard time pretending to NOT be himself!  We see him on t.v. every week during football season.  Makes me really look forward to this coming season of Survivor.

And on the topic of reality t.v., I look forward every year to the summer excitement of Big Brother.  Every year there is something hilarious going on in that house.  There are a few contestants that are so memorable that they can be known instantly with only one name, like Cher and Madonna.  For example, Howie, Janelle, Marcellas, Kaysar, Rennie, Dr. Will and Evil Dick.  Ok, Evil Dick is technically 2 names.  Or one name with one descriptive.  Whatever.  The point is none of these people need last names.

This year's cast?  Yawn. Snooze. booooorrrrrriing!  The only one on there worth watching is Ragan (whose parentals couldn't spell or were so poor they couldn't afford the "E"). This boy is hilarious!  And he must be going out of his everloving mind!  Every time I turn on BB after dark on Showtime he is explaining how things will work out in this or that scenario to the idiot HOH.  I would pay money to get to see all his diary room sessions where he tells how he really feels about these maroons he is stuck with.  He is adorable.  And of course, he is the requisite Gay Guy.  All these shows seem to have a list they have to fill.

1. Hot blonde chick who is dumber than a box of hair
2. Hot frat dude who is also dumber than a box of hair
3. Random idiot who has no anger control
4. Douchebag who causes drama
5. Black chick with attitude
6. Smart nerdy guy/girl who is secretly a complete sexual freak
7. Hilarious gay guy

Whether it be Survivor, BB, Real World or whatever reality show you are watching they all seem to work from this formula and then sprinkle in a few others for drama.  And one of these people is usually what we in my family call a Spoon.  or a Ladle.  You know, the pot stirrer who just loves to watch all the idiots implode.

Anyhoo, the only fun one on this season of BB is the Gay Guy.  Thank you Ragan!  Because CBS would be losing a serious amount of viewers if it weren't for him.

Especially for Gladys

I was going to put Just for Gladys, but then I thought no one else would read this.  So, Especially for Gladys, it is!

Recently I showed a picture of my newly refinished (and reupholstered) antique breakfast room chairs and Gladys asked to see the rest of the set.  Or "suite" as snooty people are wont to say.  My breakfast room suite.  My sweet breakfast room suite!

So for Gladys, here are some pics of the other pieces of the suite.

This the sideboard.  It has my collection of Mexican gorditas sitting on top and apparently my skinny, scrappy and stripey teenaged-acting kitty Angus MacPhee sitting underneath.  What a sneak to get in the picture!

Here is a more up and down view of said sideboard so that you can see the lovely doorbell.  Oh yeah, and also my pewter and talavera cross collection.  Aren't they pretty?

This is the china cabinet.  I don't know what that weird little circle thing is on the drawer.  It is just on the  picture, not there in real life.  I love my china cabinet.

Here's a slightly more close-up view of the china cabinet.  Can you tell that it is full of crap?  Let me show you what I have stuffed it full of.

Walruses!  Walri!  I have a collection of really cute walruses/walri.  And I have chosen to display them in my china cabinet because Hello?  I have 4 cats.  Cats who don't know their own size, their own bulk, their own heft, their own lack of gracefullness.  Cats who knock shit off of table tops and shelves as they try to tippy toe amongst breakable stuff.

After half of my walruses/walri have lost tusks due to the cats, I put them safely inside the china cabinet.

And here is what is on top.

The three things on the left that match are Aynsley china pieces.  My sister brought me the cute little bud vase when she went to London.  Then my mom brought me the cache pot on one of her trips. And somewhere down the road she gave me the other piece with the cute little lid.  Isn't it a beautiful pattern? It's called Cottage Garden.  And who would love to have a service for 12 in that pattern?  Could it be me?  Oh, I love china!  I love a beautifully set table.  Vintage table linens, antique sterling, beautiful china.  I love it.

Anyhoo, the other things up there were all gifts.  The first plate with the dogwood blossoms was painted by my grandma.  And by the by, it will be her 92nd birthday in 3 days.  Holla to Grandma on her birthday!  The cute little rectangular plate was painted by a friend of mine when we were in Chile. And the big beautiful bowl was a gift from one of my doula clients.  It is hand painted with all different Texas wildflowers.  It is gorgeous and a bit whimsical.  I love it.

And look who decided to sit up top with the gorditas?  Oh, what a handsome boy that Angus MacPhee is!  Even if he is an evil teenager who wants to sneak out at night and cause me more gray hairs.

So other than the table that is the sweet breakfast room suite.  The table is covered right now with quilt squares, a sewing machine, scissors and such.  Rachel Pie and I are working on a quilt top that we started back in Minnesota 7 years ago.  We dug it out and started working on it again yesterday.  Pictures of the table will just have to wait.  I hope you can stand the excitement.

It's Back!

It's back.  My lower back has gone out again.  It's my back.  It appears to be sciatica.  I am sorry but this is not fun.  Second time in a month.

I am trying my best to treat my back like an extra-special VIP.  As if my back had turned into Sean P. Diddy Puffy Combs or something.  I would offer to serve it some classy champagne if it would help.

I am taking my homeopathic go-to, Arnica.  I am taking naproxen at night.  And I am alternating ice and heat.  I went yesterday and got a great massage. And I am trying to rest my back all I can.  So I am trying to be really on top of things.

Anyhoo, today I got into my bookshelves of complimentary and alternative medicine books to see what else I could be doing.  One recommendation was to get lots of potassium, so I will certainly do that.  There were some great tips on accupressure points I should be working and other vitamin and supplements.  But here is some information I was surprised at:

"Activities that are good for the back include swimming, cycling, walking, and rowing."  Rowing?  Really?  I don't hardly think so.


Then it further states: "Avoid the following activities: Baseball, basketball, football. The quick responses needed for these sports involve sudden twisting and jumping motions."  Imagine that.  Jumping and twisting motions needed for basketball.  What kind of idiots do they think are reading this?


"Bowling. Lifting a heavy weight while bending and twisting puts strain on the back."  Does it now?


There were several others listed, one just as stupid as the next.  And then we get to the last one.

"Weightlifting. This sport is potentially the most damaging because it places great strain on the lower portion of the spine and back."  wtf???


Seriously?  If you have purchased this book you are obviously interested in doing the best you can for your body.  And if you are now reading the section on sciatica and back pain, what kind of a big dumb ass would you be if you were also indulging in light happy round of weightlifting?  I guess you have to prepare for every eventuality when you offer advice.

This is exactly the kind of situation that makes me think about the dumbing-down of the human race.  I will go and be grumpy now and look for some potassium, calcium and magnesium rich foods.  But I guess I will have to cancel my exciting day of weightlifting, rowing and shooting some hoops.  Darn.

Updating. or . . . Everything old is new again.

I have just figured out that I need to get my eyes checked.  Somehow I missed going last summer.  I go every summer to get my eyeballs checked and get my glasses updated if need be.  And I can't remember a thing that happened last summer that was so pressing that I would forget to get my eyes looked at.

Charming Miss Rachel Pie says to me yesterday when I was grumbling and bitching about not being able to see because I had missed last year's eyeball check that "here's a novel idea!  you could just get them checked in the fall!  or the winter!  or hell, break out of a rut and go in the spring!"  Madness.  That's what I say.

Why wouldn't that kind of care-free willy-nilly idea occur to me?  I have no clue.  But the fact is, it doesn't. If I normally do something in August and it gets skipped, well, it just stays skipped till NEXT August.

Anyhoo, all this planning to get my eyes checked has got me planning on what kind of new glasses frames I want to get.  Right now I am wearing some that are at least 3 and maybe 4 years old.  They were way cool and different when I got them.  Now?  Not so much.  Everybody and their mother has this style now. Even Tina Fey and Sarah Palin.  Time for an update, is what I am sayin'.

Interestingly enough, over on the Compact group site, one of my very favorite people posted a question as to where one could get eyes checked and not pay a bazillion dollars for new glasses.  So I perked up and have been checking everyone's responses as to how they manage to not go broke each time their own eyeballs need new lenses.  And the best idea popped up, and I am really sorry that I have no clue who it was who posted this, but there is a store near her that sells really cool vintage frames.  Vintage is right up my alley.  So, of course I have been scoping out vintage frame people all over the internet.

Here is one vintage frame site that I really like.  And here are a handful of the frames that I really like:

Are those the cutest things you ever did see?  How about ever see through???  I love them all.

Now apparently, I need to come up with measurements of my current glasses to know which of these will fit my face and not be too small or too big.  And let me just say this . . .   every single one of these awesome vintage frames are cheaper than the new and not nearly as awesome new ones that I have seen. Of course, I can't see.  Which is why I need to go get my eyeballs checked and get new prescription lenses.

Do any of you wear glasses?  Did you just switch to contacts because the whole wearing glasses thing was too much trouble?  Did you get the lasik surgery because the contacts were way more trouble? Do you just have perfectly shaped eyeballs and don't need all this stuff?

And most importantly, which frames do you think I should get?  : )

Short but Sweet. or maybe not.

Ok, the last thing I posted was about the start up of the new summer of Big Brother.  I didn't expect to post about BB so soon, but the most hilarious thing was said on the first episode that I had to rush back here and share it with any of you that may have missed it.

Here's the set up:  All the houseguests were divided up into red and yellow teams with one person left to be the mascot.  That poor schmuck got to put on the hot dog suit from last year.  (This should have been a real clue to them that red and yellow were probably ketchup and mustard)  They go outside and the backyard is set up for a big challenge and made to look like a giant hibachi with giant wieners dangling over it on a pulley of some kind.  They were at one end of the hibachi and had to jump on the to dangling wiener and hang on while they were wheeled across to the other side.  The team with the fastest time of getting all their members to the other side were the winners and the very last person on the winning team is the new HOH.

Oh, and as they were hangin on the wieners for dear life they were being squirted with ketchup and mustard.  This made each trip across progressively difficult as the giant wiener gets more and more slippery.  Everyone with me so far?

So of course, they are cutting in with the diary room descriptions of this from each houseguest's perspective and they were hilarious!  But the best one was this:

The extremely dumb bleached-blonde girl named Britney who kept sliding off the wiener and having to go back and start again said "I lost my dignity on a slippery wiener".

Now how are they going to top THAT?  The season just started and how can they go up from that?  Or how can they go anywhere BUT up from that!!  I laughed so hard I had to go back and rewind and watch it again and again.  This is what unscriped reality t.v. is all about!  The dumb shit that comes out of the people's mouths.

And . . . . The end of the World Cup.  Next stop, Brazil in 2014.  Woo Hoo!!  No more vuvuzelas for four years!  Yea!!!

One more thing about the World Cup; even though none of my teams made it I was so happy to see Uruguay's Diego Forlan got the Golden Ball for being the top player of the whole World Cup. And to do it without even being in the winning team is testament to his talent.

Enjoy a little more Diego, won't you?

Those of you who weren't World Cup fans before might want to consider watching a few matches, don't you think?

I have been doing a lot of reading.  And I think it is thanks to my Kindle.  I have been breezing through books like a tornado!  A fast-reading tornado.  I have read Breakfast with Buddha (pretend that is underlined) for the book club at Bye Bye Pie.  If you don't read June over at Bye Bye Pie every day you just don't know what you are missing!  All the fun is over at June's house.

I also read the new Anthony Bourdain book, a couple of David Sedaris' books, and now I am reading (but not on the Kindle, real life books!  with pages to turn!) a couple of books by Sherman Alexie that my daughter the lovely and precious Rachel Pie gave me for Christmas.

So, what are you watching this summer?  What are you reading this summer?  What's going on in your neck of the woods?  Any fun trips planned?  Share with the rest of the class, won't you?

It's that time again!

It is that time again!  Time to stay up really late each night watching.  Time to be glued to the t.v. 3 evenings a week.  Time for . . . . . . .


BIG BROTHER!!

And this season one of the hamsters will be like the old America's Player, he (or she) will be called the Saboteur.  Sent in to do mischief.  Should be interesting.  I hope so, anyway.

Who among you are BB watchers?  If so, do you just watch the 3 times a week stuff?  Do you watch the Showtime after dark every night?  Or are you full-blown fan and subscribe to the live feed and watch all the damn time?

Woot!!!

Tonight is the first episode and we get to meet the houseguests.  Don't miss it.

More Randomness coming at ya! You may want to duck.

Yes, Indeedy.  Randomness.  That is today's theme.

1. As you know by now, I am a birth doula.  I have a client who has been due now for several days and normally, I am on "High Orange Alert" 2 weeks before and until the birth.  But for some reason my High Orange Alert slid off the radar on July 4th.  I slept late that morning and then stayed up really late, because that is what happens when you don't get out of bed!  Anyhoo, I was up really late and was just getting myself ready for bed when (you know what happens here, don't you?) I got the call.  Yep, labor had started and we were all going to meet up at the hospital.  So, I went to the birth at 2 a.m. and got home at 10 p.m. If you are like me you can see that that is darn close to 24 hours after having been awake for about 15 hours before that.  And if you are still more like me than you would care to think, you will know that I was like the walking dead by the end.  Not real perky is what I would say.

But the baby is here.  He is so wanted and loved by his parents and all the extended family.  I am really happy for them.  And if I tell you that I am truly blessed to get to do this work, you will probably say "We know.  We hear that crap from you all the time.  Give it a rest, already."  But it is true.  Sometimes I am ashamed to take money for doing such rewarding work.

Happy Birthday on July 5, little one!!  It was a blessing to be there and help your parents get you here.

2. Obits - I haven't posted anything about the obit reading lately.  One thing that has been really weird about reading all the local obituaries is that in the last couple of months we have had 3 deaths from right here in my neighborhood.  Not only in the neighborhood, but on the next street over, to be more specific. That's a little spooky.  Makes me want to get busy exercising and getting into better shape.  I think I would be much better off to start the second half of my life in the best shape I can get into, don't you?

There was another Ignatz the other day listed as a survivor on one of the obits.  Now, I have gone my whole life and never heard the given name of Ignatz, and in the last six months BAM!!  they are all over the obits.  The Ignatz' of the world are losing their kinfolk, is what I am saying.  Kind of strange.

3. Big Brother.  It is that time again.  The time when my t.v. set is tuned to Big Brother 3 times a week, and for 3 hours late at night every night for the Big Brother After Dark stuff on showtime.  It's Big Brother, people!!  The best crap out there!  It's a genius idea, just take random idiots and stick them in a house and watch what unfolds.  No paid actors, no scripting, just watch these idiots do what comes naturally.  As we have all seen over the years, they can start out being fake, trying out a different persona, but not for long.  It's too hard over the course of 3 months (give or take) to not be yourself.  There are no allowed distractions other than a chess set and a pool table.  No music.  No singing. No t.v. No books other than the occasional Bible. No magazines. No computer.  Nothing to do but think and deal with the other random idiots stuck in the house with you.  Oh!  And you know what?  The one thing that strikes me as hilarious is that there is no built-in ice maker in the fridge.  They have to fill up ice trays and you know what that leads to?  Arguments about who made ice last, who used the ice and didn't refill the trays, etc.  No dishwasher either.  And I am constantly amazed at how none of these morons can cook!  They can't cook.  Big Brother provides them with most of the raw ingredients, vegetables, fruit, meat, fish, etc.  And they come up with the easiest things possible because they don't know what to do.  Idiots.  I want to scream at the t.v. "You have NOTHING ELSE TO DO!!  Why not cook?  Why not experiment on how to put a few ingredients together?  Create a "family" type dinner?"  But no, you normally see 12 people in there each doing their own thing and being as wasteful as possible.  Not once in all these years, not once! have any of them considered chopping up the veggies and the leftover meat and making a pot of soup.  Soup is the easiest and frankly, one of the best things to do for a big group.

I guess that is what makes for good t.v. viewing, watching those maroons and feeling superior!  Set your dvrs for Thursday night to meet the new hamsters, I mean, houseguests.  And get ready for some fun!

4. The garden.  We have been having the best tomatoes lately!  Mr. Big Ed planted a bunch of different heirloom varities and we have been plucking tomatoes left and right.  Delicious, is what they are!!

5. I promised Gladys I would take some pics of my antique breakfast room set and I swear I will do that. I pulled something in my back last week and I couldn't stand up straight for several days.   You don't want to see any pics from that position, now do you?

Have a great week out there!  And let me hear from you.  It gets pretty depressing on days when I get no comments.  Cheer me up, folks!  Leave a message.

5.

Marketing Skillz and such

My sister tells me that I have the world's WORST marketing skills.  She came to visit once and I said to her "Hey, would you like any of this left-over crappy old pie from Thanksgiving?  If not, I am giving it to the dogs."  You might be surprised to learn that she did not want any of that old tired-ass pie.  I know I was!

Truth in advertising that is my motto.  And apparently it is also the motto of the cute little waitress person we had the other day.

Here's the deal:  We were going out to lunch to entertain a visitor who wanted some good Texas barbecue. (Note:  Barbecue is spelled like that. CUE not QUE.  Idiots who put QUE on their signs will never see me or my money.  My other motto is Never Support Dumb Asses.  If you abbreviate it as BBQ, well that's okay, but it should not let you think that correct spelling is BARBEQUE.)

Anyhoo, back at the fun little Texas barbecue restaurant.  We were all deciding what to have and I was busy steering the group towards the sandwich part of the menu.  The really cute little waitress person came to answer questions and hurry this procedure along and I asked her about the cole slaw.  I was interested in both the pulled pork and the chopped beef sandwiches and everyone knows pulled pork is better with some cole slaw on it.  But it is waaaaaaaay better if the cole slaw is made with a vinegar type dressing rather than a sweet mayonnaise-y dressing.  So I asked her about it and she said "Well, it's kind of mayonnaise-y and it's also kind of runny and watery".

That remark just kind of hung there in the air for a bit and then my son said something about her attending the same marketing class that I had attended.  After which I took bets on whether he would order cole slaw or fried okra.  I guarantee you I was the only one who ended up getting a bit of cole slaw.  And that's only because I did order the pulled pork.

That pulled pork was outstanding.  This place makes homemade yeast-risen rolls, so the bread part of the sandwich was also perfect.  Nice sauce too.  But that cole slaw?

It was pretty much "as represented".  It was sad, mayonnaise-y.  It was runny, it was watery.  And it was onion-y!!!  Blechh.

Any of y'all want some cole slaw before I end up composting this crap?