Sort of a rant. Or maybe a complaint. You be the judge.

So I go to Hobby Lobby as one does when one is looking to purchase some fabric.  I have a love/hate relationship with HL.  They carry so many things that I love.  They also carry a TON of cheap made in China crap that we need to quit importing.  I would love to be able to boycott HL, but I am not there yet.  I do put down anything cute I have picked up when I see the ubiquitous Made in China sticker on bottom though.

Anyhoo, I am the fabric department looking for, well, fabric!  I needed some black fabric to use as a table covering for an event we are attending as a sponsoring group.  So we are using black as our table background so that all our pretty bright colored brochures and things "pop" as all the designers say.

I roamed around and scoped out all the different solid black fabrics and picked out the one I wanted and took it to the big table where they cut it for you.  The HL fabric-cutting lady says "How much you need?"

To which I replied "Well, the tables are six feet and I want hang down on each side of 12 to 18 inches.  Let's say, 18 inches on each side.  So that's another 36 inches, plus the six feet.  Cut me a piece of 9 feet, please."

You are never going to believe what she said.

Are you ready?

Here's what she said.

"I can only do yards. How much is that in yards?"

Really?

W T F ???

She works in fabric.  She works in fabric cutting said fabric.  And she DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO CONVERT FEET TO YARDS!!!

And it was an easy one, too!  It wasn't like I said give me 8 5/8 feet and then she would have to break out the calculator that was right next to her.

Holy crap.  I can't be an old fart and curmudgeon and blame it on the young whippersnappers and their new-fangled math, because this lady was older than me.  She didn't know.  And worse, she didn't really seem to give two shits.

Day 3 Plastic No More

Here it is Day 3 of the Plastic No More Challenge.  I have done a really good job of limiting or eliminating plastic coming in to my home so far.  Here's the lowdown on how I have fared.

1. I haven't had to grocery shop yet.  So that is good.

2. I have dedicated a small bucket to collect any plastic that I do end up with and will take pics of it so you can see what I am dealing with.  For example, the first thing to go in the bucket is the plastic pull strip from around the top of the frozen juice concentrate paper can thing.  The paper gets composted, leaving just the tear strip and the two metal ends to dispose of.

3. When we run out of frozen juice to use, I am buying a bag of oranges and setting them and the juicer out on the counter.  You want juice?  Cut yourself 2 oranges and squeeze them.  Now, wasn't that fast and easy!  Not to mention, good tasting and better for you.

4. I am going to have to go back to making my own laundry detergent when I run out of the liquid we currently have.  The borax and the washing soda are in paper board cartons but the soap to grate is in a clear plastic wrapper.  Alternatively, I can buy a box of Tide powder, but it comes with a plastic scoop inside.  Either way, there will be a bit of plastic to go in the bucket.

5. When we run out of milk, I will have to decide which is the lesser of the evils.
     A. Gallon of milk in a plastic jug, cheaper cost-wise.
     B. Half gallons in the waxed paper cartons, but they have a plastic spigot and cap.
     C. Tetra-pak liters that are completely non-recyclable and still have a plastic top.
     D. Can of evaporated milk and dilute it.  Cost-wise this isn't bad, but taste-wise?  Gaaahhgg!
     E. Box of powdered milk.  I like the Nido milk from Mexico that is whole milk rather than the non-fat kind they sell here in the U.S.  It comes in a metal can with a metal top.  So this might be the way to go. I am the only one who drinks milk or puts it on cereal, so I am just pleasing myself anyway.

****Ding ding ding!!! We might have a winner on this deal!

6. Yesterday I bought 6 books in Japanese from my local used book store to gift my nephew who is studying Japanese in college.  And before my brain had kicked into gear I was out the door with all those books in a damn plastic bag.  Grrrrr.

I am blaming the lady who was in line behind me.  She distracted me by being a wiener and being wrong.  Here's what happened:  She walked in whilst I was at the check-out counter having the guy look up the ISBN number of all these Japanese books to make sure they were in fact Japanese and not Chinese.  Also to make sure they weren't porn or something I didn't want to be gifting my nephew.  So the lady walks in and looks all impatient and stands there with a paper.  The dude working there  looks up from the computer and says to her, "I'll be right with you."

She says "I am looking for books by (consults her paper) Maud Lucy Montgomery"

He says "Who????"

I butt in and said "She wrote the Anne of Green Gable series. They should be in young teenager section back there" and pointed in the right direction.

Then I said "I believe her name is Lucy Maud Montgomery, in case you can't find it the way you have it".

She looked me straight in the eye and said "No.  Her name was Maud.  She just went by LUCY!"

Okaay.

Which is what I said to her. And then went back to my business of making sure I had Japanese and not Chinese and not porn.

So see what I mean about being flustered when I grabbed my bag and left?

Anyhoo, get this.  I went next door to the Bubble Tea place and met up with the rest of my group and we decided to head over to Goodwill.  So I go and put my books in the car and backed out of my parking space and was headed up the aisle of the parking lot when the same lady was coming towards me in her car waved me down.  I rolled down my window and she said, "I found what I was looking for. And I wanted to apologize for correcting you.  You were right."

Awwww.  Wasn't that nice?  Most people would never bother to do that.  Afterwards I said to myself, I should have apologized to her for butting my fat nose into her business in the first place.

I get to Goodwill and what did I find?  A 20th Anniversary edition of Trivial Pursuit in very good, damn near brand-new condition.  That's what I found!

In case you don't know this about me, I love games.  And I love, love, love Trivial Pursuit games.  And I don't have this edition.  And it was marked 1.99.

Who do you think got herself a new Trivial Pursuit game?  And who do you think played the game with Sparky last night and WON?

And who do you think remembered to tell the GW clerk to keep her plastic bag and carried her own game out in her own little hands?

Have a great plastic-free day!

Count so far:
Plastic - 2 items

Randomness again, but you won't want to miss this gossip!

Yes, it is random stuff just free-flowing from my brain today.  Yea!  No having to coordinate my thoughts in to a coherent pattern!

First off, yes indeed, I am still reading the obits.  There were a few really great names in yesterday's edition.

1. Aleta Beal, better known as Wynona.  *Really?  Why is that better?

2. You know how it irritates the beejeebers out of me that people feel the need to put everyone's nicknames in "quotes" in the middle of their name. John "Jackie" Smith, for example.  There was a lot of nickname-listing yesterday!

Wilroy = Sonny
W.S. = Dusty
Enos = Brutzie
Edward = Bubby
Carl = Happy
John = Johnny
Debra = Debbie (seriously?  like we wouldn't figure these out?)
Elizabeth = Irene
H.F. = Hoagy
James = Davey
Luther = Luke
Glynna = Bebe
Denise = Necie

3. There were some fabulous old-school names that have fallen out of favor and been replaced with the Tiffanys and Britneys and such.  Here are some examples of great old names you don't see anymore (except in the obits).

Irene
Chester
Marjorie
Lena
Oscar
Matilda
Ida
Earl
Myron
Rudolpho
Mildred
Hermit
Nettie
Thelma
Casper
Hugo
Vester
Effie Coreene

Now, on to the gossip portion of this post.  There is a businessman here who does the cheesiest ads on t.v. you would ever hope to see.  Here is a link to a youtube of one of his ads.  Go watch.  It's only 20 seconds.  Cheesy, right?  He has those $39.95 optical places all over town.  His kids have a chain of tattoo and piercing parlors and he does the ads for both.  Usually at the same time.

Then Sunday we woke up to this little story in the news.  Go, check it out.  I'll wait right here.

Did you read it?  Did you watch the video portion of it?  Holy Moly!!

He doesn't live too far away so we drive by every once in a while to see what other changes he has made to his house.  Apparently he wants his house to look like he was in Scarface.  There is shiny silver eagles and globes and pillars out front and fake deer and custom painted Hummers and speed boats and such. It is one of those things that you drive by with your mouth wide open and just stare.  There are no words.

So in addition to a 1980's drug king-pin style home exterior he appears to have adopted a similar take on how to get out of his marriage.  Oh. My.  And that's all I am going to say about that.

My son has got us all hooked on another flipping HBO series.  It's called Eastbound and Down.  And oh my sweet Lord, this is just shocking and unbelievable!  Mullets, beer bellies, baseball has-beens, Will Ferrell, and the best music on each episode.  You know how Adam Sandler has stupid movies but they usually have good music going?  This is worse and with better music.  You watch one episode and you will be hooked.  Hilarious.  It's like Anchorman for baseball.

That's all the news that's fit to print from here.  Lemme hear from you!

A little Provence in Texas

Check this out:  Lavenderfest  is quickly approaching!  Woot!  This is one of my favorite events and I am really looking forward to it.  This is not too far a drive to go up for the day and back.

Can you smell it already?  They have free tours of the lavender farms, there are lots of speakers telling you how to grow lavender organically and music. And stuff for sale!  Lavender soaps, lotions, lip balms, honey, teas, pot pourri, lavender sachets, plants, pretty much anything lavender infused.  Here are my two favorite items:  Frozen Blueberry lavender lemonade (omg!!!) and bottles of lavender margarita mix.  What do you think of that?  That frozen blueberry lavender lemonade will rock your world, I guarantee it.

My very own lavender bushes in my front flower beds are from this festival two years ago.  They are growing well and are about to flower for the first time.  I am so excited about that!  Love, love the lavender.

Signs of the times

I think it should be required under penalty of removing your toenails with pliers for you to remove your signs from a building when you shut down and cease operations.  How many times has it happened that you are cruising along in a new neighborhood and go down a new and interesting street only to find that store that looked so cute on the outside; well, it is shut down?

The worst part to me is where they leave the "Welcome, We are Open!!" sign in the window.  They aren't open.  They haven't been open in the 6 + years I have lived here.  It fools me every time!  I see it and my heart jumps and then I remember, "Oh yeah, this is that shitty place that left their signage up and has been lying to me for 6 years.  Those dastardly dogs."

In the last couple of years since the economy has been tanking it has taken many small businesses and restaurants with it.  A sure way to make sure your new little restaurant will go under?  Just open it in a building where the last 3 or 43 attempts at a restaurant right in that very spot have failed in under six months.  It's almost like there is a jinx on it, a hex, some bad ju-ju.  Or it could be that the first place had really crappy food/service and every try since then has been met with resistance from the customers to walk back in there.  Who knows?

There is a cute little L-shaped shopping place near us that has a donut shop on the end that used to be a Dunkin Donuts and now is some clone making the exact same stuff.  Next to that is a place that originally was a Schlotzsky's.  They lost their franchise and dropped the "Schlotz" off the sign and became Sky's sandwiches. After that a really nice couple from Spain tried it as a Spanish restaurant complete with flamenco dancers on Saturday nights.  They had fabulous food, paella, tapas, Sangria, the whole kit and kaboodle.  Six months later they were gone.  Since then it has been reincarnated as 3 different Mexican restaurants.  Who by the way are competing with the Mexican restaurant down at the other end of the L-shaped building.  Now who exactly cursed the Schlotzsky-sandwich-paella-Mexican place?

I don't know.  But someone should go through there smudging the hell out of it with some sage or cedar or whatever it is that removes all the bad stuff.  Because I want my small neighborhood places to stay open.  I want to be able to wander over there and know who they are and have them remember me as well.

What's interesting about this is that a couple doors down, like in the middle of the L, there is a small Thai restaurant.  That place?  Does business like you can't believe!  Busy all the frigging time!  Even at night. It's not just a crowded lunch place.  They also do a booming business at night.  And get this!  NO LIQUOR LICENSE!!  Can you believe that?  It is unheard of for a restaurant to stay in business very long without selling liquor.  This place doesn't.  They just make good Thai food and serve you some water or iced tea and that is that.

This is why I think it all goes back to a curse or a hex or something.  Certain things just don't make sense but there they are.

I noticed yesterday that a local Applebee's is now called Bikinis Sports Bar.  I don't care for Applebee's and never went in that place, and from the sign on the Bikinis place; I highly doubt I will ever darken their doors either!

Anyone else notice this phenomenon?