Customer Service or Dis-service, you be the judge

Y'all, I really hate to be the person who just rants and bitches but unfortunately someone has to do it.  And once you turn 50 you lose that little part of you that just gives a shit what other people think. So, there's that.  It is now my job to call people on their bullshit and not to take any.

I was on etsy or pinterest or one of those sites that leads you down a rabbit hole of websites and found my way to a website that is selling some really cute, cute things that I thought I needed for Christmas gifts.  Really cute.

And so I looked at the website for the "about us" to see who these people are, where the money is going to, etc.  And there is a whole bunch of photos of the people who own/operate/run this company, but no information as to where they are geographically.  No physical location.  I clicked on the "contact us" button to ask a few question regarding a couple of items and it opened up an email.  So I went back and looked and yes, only email, no phone.  WTH?  No phone number?

I emailed and explained what my questions were and said I would like some customer support.  I got a really prompt return email with these words Thanks for reaching out! Unfortunately we don't offer all call center at this time, as we are an online business only. But I can help you via email!


Okay, that seems odd to me that because you are online you don't think people will ever need to talk to you.  That makes it even MORE likely that people will have a phone inquiry.

After several more email back and forths with the customer service person I placed the order with the choice of using Paypal for my payment since I didn't feel great about giving my credit card information to people who don't even have a phone.  And I sent her an email saying that I had ordered and to let me know if there was a problem.

And you'll never guess what!  

There was a problem.  She didn't get the order.  So I spent a ridiculous amount of time going all over their website trying to figure this out. And the website order form kept giving me a gigantic yellow yield sign saying I am required to give them my email address.  On the paypal payment page it had a square to check if I wanted them to share my email with the company or not, so I went back and checked that box and filled everything out again for the FOURTH TIME and you will not believe this but where they wanted me to fill in my email address?  THERE WAS NO SPACE TO PUT IT!!

If I put my cursor in the tab above it and hit my tab key it dropped right down past the email question to the next space.

So I sent off yet another email to the customer service person describing the situation and said please have someone call me to place this order or I am just going to forget about it.  And gave her my phone number.

And you'll never guess what happened next!

SHE EMAILED ME AGAIN!  She didn't call me!  Here is her reply to my request for them to call me:  Thanks for keeping me updated. So sorry the websites being difficult! Just to let you know I am going to do, I am forwarding this conversation to the owners so they can try to troubleshoot.

And if I can get your order via email, we will send you a PayPal invoice and order that way!

Are you believing this?  I got that one last evening and I had to sit on it overnight to not reply "Are you fucking kidding me??"

This is the email that I shot back to her today "I appreciate you being so prompt and getting back to me right away.  Because customer service is such a big part of the shopping process to me, I am going to say that it feels really awkward to me that there is no way to reach a person on the phone and try and resolve the issues i am having with this order.

I have gone out on a limb and trusted leaving my phone number with a total stranger and said that I would prefer if someone could just call me and we could get this ironed out.  And I get yet another email instead of a call.

So this makes me suspicious of a company that doesn’t have a responsive way to help customers through a website that has some issues.  No phone, really?  I just don’t think I can give my credit card and home address information to a company that doesn’t have phone support.

Sorry we couldn’t have done business together.  Your stuff looked really cute."

What do you think?  Are these people on the up and up?  Will they respond?  Will I ever get a phone call?  Would you try to work this hard to spend money?

I just don't understand the whole "one size fits all and this is the ONLY way we do business" mentality.  Every person has different needs and if you are dealing with the public you are going to run across loads of different kinds of people.  And all I wanted was a few questions answered and then for them to fix their stupid order online form that wasn't working.  

My guess is that they will not reach out to me to try and rectify this and I will not get to purchase these cute things and I will have to go to Plan B on the Christmas gift list.

Let me know your thoughts on this or just how you feel about customer service in general.

Catching up. Again.

And a great good Saturday to you!  It is the most gorgeous day outside.  I have no idea why I am inside typing on the computer instead of hanging around outdoors.

Oh right, the flipping allergies!  I pay for it each and every time I spend big chunks of time outside.

But, that is not what I want to share with you.  I have things to talk about and pictures to show you.  So, get up now and go pee.  Go get a refill of your favorite beverage and settle in to see what you shall see.  : )


First up, I saw that I was running low on Downy.  Yes, I still use Downy.  No, I do not feel guilty about it.  When I was at the store I had to keep looking at the bottles to see which one is the same as the one I have at home because it was slightly different.  So when I got home I set them next to each other to make sure I had bought the right flavor.  And what else did I spy???

Here is a close up of Bottle A, aka the old one, the one that was already here:  Spend a few minutes perusing the label, won't you?

And here is a close up of the new label.  Go ahead and check it out and notice the differences.

They are both Downy.  They both contain 1.84 liters. They are both lavender scented.

Here's the deal:

THE OLD ONE SAYS IT CONTAINS 78 LOADS worth of softener.

While the new one only does 72 LOADS!!  ???

I took the caps off and looked at them since they are the measuring devices to know how much product they recommend.  And guess what?

EXACTLY THE SAME CAP, EXACTLY THE SAME MEASUREMENT.

Anyone else confused by this?

Those dicks over at the Downy offices have done some very creative math to come up with this.

And by the by, I don't follow their recommended quantity per load.  The first thing I do is to pour half the new bottle into the empty old bottle and then refill both with water and mix them well.  This is following the Rule of Half.  Half of any recommended amount of product will do the job just as well.  Try it with your shampoo, conditioner, laundry products, liquid hand soap, etc.  I promise you won't miss the other half and you just saved yourself a bunch of money and time shopping to replace these things.


In other news, the lovely and talented Miss Rachel Pie has been working with small children.  And you know what that means, don't you?

She got sick!  You have to have a really strong immune system to work with the wee ones, as they bring in germs like nobody's business.  Anyhoo, she was S. I. C. K. She went from feeling a bit poorly to running ridiculously high fever, throwing up and sick as a dog overnight.  And thanks to the Affordable Healthcare Act, she is still on our insurance (at least until her next birthday).  Our insurance has this great local business partnered up on it called White Glove Health

Go check out their website and see if they are near you or if you can sign up for them.  Essentially, they are in business to get people well as quickly as possible and back to work.  It keeps up productivitiy and that is why Mr. Big Ed's company has gotten this policy for all the insured employees.

Anyway, Miss Rachel Pie was sick as a dog and there was no way she was going to be able to sit for hours at the med clinic waiting to be seen, so we called the White Glove Health people and they sent a nurse practitioner right over.  She examined Rachel Pie, she looked down her throat, in her ears, listened to her heart, asked tons of questions, you know, the same thing the med clinic doctor would have done.  Then she said Rachel Pie has a sinus infection and a ear infection and prescribed medication, antibiotics, bed rest, liquids, etc.

And did Miss Nurse Practitioner then hand me a bunch of prescriptions to go fill?

No she did NOT!  She reached into her Mary Poppins-style bag and brought out a bottle of antibiotics, 2 bottles of Mucinex, 2 bottles of nose spray, 1 bottle of ear drops which you will see below sitting on a box she also gave Rachel Pie called a Well-Kit.

See the Well-Kit box?  With its cute little carry handle?  What do you suppose is inside?

Let's look, shall we?

I spy with my little eye:  cough drops, 2 packs of tylenol, 2 packs of motrin

1 can of chicken noodle soup, 1 bottle of Gator-ade, 1 pack of jell-o, 1 can of Ginger Ale

1 pack of Kleenex, 1 snack sized apple sauce, and a box of saltines.

We didn't have to go to the store.  We didn't have to go stand in line at the pharmacy.  We didn't have to get Rachel Pie out of bed for 24 hours, actually.

She may call herself a Nurse Practitioner but I think she might have been Florence Nightingale reincarnated.  : )

And FINALLY!!!!  I know, I know, first I don't blog for a month and then I go on and on f o r e v e r . . .

But this is cool, so you will want to stay tuned for this last part.

Have I ever told you about the glass ball collection I have?

Well, my mama travels to Germany a lot.  She used to, anyway.  We have relatives over there so she goes to visit and takes a suitcase full of Mexican food items that they can't get and refills that suitcase with lovely things for all of us.  Anyhoo, she goes to some glass factory and buys these gorgeous blown glass balls.  All different sizes, and colors.

And we string them up with ribbon or fishing line and hang them in the windows like sun catchers.  They are just gorgeous.

Well, we moved to this house in May of 2005 and I have never found a great place to hang them in this house.  So they have been sitting in a cabinet in bubble wrap, just waiting.

And you know how one thing leads to another and then another and then BAM!!!! The light bulb comes on of how to think outside the box?  Well, that is what happened to me.

Why do they have to just be unused sun catchers?  Why can't they be Christmas ornaments?

But what kind of tree would they really be showcased on?


And BAM!!!  I got hit with another picture on Pinterest of a gorgeous wrought iron tree with loads of space between the branches for just such baubles as my glass balls.

So, I ordered it and it arrived!

Yay!

I spent yesterday putting it together and hanging all my little glass balls, some of which are egg shaped and some are heart shaped.  And here is your photo montage of this!

Here is the shipping box as it arrived and I took it to the corner of the dining room where I am going to assemble and display it.

Once I opened the shipping box, here is the box that was inside.

And when I opened the box this is what I found.

Each of the corrugated paper wrapped items had a label on it identifying what piece this is.

Once I unwrapped every piece and lined them all up in alphabetical order, way on the bottom of the box was this instruction sheet.

Here it is all put together and naked.  I think it might need a skirt of some kind. What do you think? Any suggestions?

And here it is with all the beautiful balls, eggs and hearts in place.

And here are some close-ups of the ornaments.  Sadly the glass reflects the light so much that they don't show up as beautiful as they truly are.

What do you think?  I think it was well worth the $$ to buy a new item to showcase these beauties rather than letting them languish in a drawer.  And besides, you all know how I am on a campaign to quit using the shitty quality Made-in-China Christmas lights.

As always, I am happy to get some comments and hear your thoughts.

p.s. Should I write or call the Downy Dicks to see what gives on their bottle information?

Starbuck's Simpsons encounter

So I go into my local Starbuck's as you do and ordered by Veinte sized Iced Passion Tea non-sweet.  The perfect drink to keep you hydrated on these hot horrible droughty days.

The barista grabs my cup, asks my name and starts to write.  When I answered Lisa, she started singing this song.

I loved this episode of the Simpsons so much!  The barista and I both laughed and she went on singing and I left her a bigger tip.  : )

Can you hear me NOW???

Here it comes, people.  Another rant.  I can't help it, I am on a roll. With the rants.

You know how Carly Simon sang "You're So Vain" and everyone who was anyone thought it really WAS all about them??  I am sure there are going to be various people who will assume I am talking about them with this particular rant.

And to that I say "If the shoe fits, maybe so".

When society changes, etiquette has to change and catch up or try to hurry and get ahead of the game to keep everyone doing the right thing so that there aren't hurt feelings all around.  And with all these changes to technology, we have to adapt our behaviors accordingly.  With that said, I have to start my rant on idiots with cell phones who INSIST  on talking on them at all times.  It doesn't matter where they are, who they are with, what they are doing, who they are inconveniencing, they are yammering loudly into their fucking phones.  OH MY LORD!  Stop it already!!!

There is a time and a place for everything.  And sometimes that time is later and the place is NOT HERE!

Since the invention of the telephone they have been a demanding interruption to whatever it is you are currently engaged in.  Then came the answering machine, which in the words of Miss Manners was the equivalent to a butler in the old days, he would screen the calls and take the messages for you to return those calls at your convenience.


But then came the mobile phone.  And for some stupid reason people think they have to be in touch with every single person they have ever met at all times.  WTF?

So here are some cell phone etiquette rules to follow.  I am sure you will all come up with some I haven't thought up yet, so please feel free to share them.

1. If you are in a public place, and by public I mean standing in a room with more than one person and feel the need to yell into your phone, there is a problem.  If you are alone, yell all you want.  If there is another person within 10 feet (I have checked all sorts of etiquette sites and they all agree to the 10 feet rule) you need to make yourself mobile and move.  Or you need to examine why you feel the need to yell into your phone at all.  Think of it this way, if you didn't have a phone in your hand would standing there there yelling be appropriate?  If not, you have your answer regarding the phone situation.

2. Your phone should be considered a means for people to communicate with you in case of an emergency.  If I am talking with you and your phone rings, the only polite response is to silence it and apologize for the interruption.  If you and I are talking and you are expecting an emergency call, you should have told me beforehand so that I could choose to continue with a potentially interrupted conversation or not.  It's rude in the extreme to take calls when you are in a face-to-face with someone else.  And don't get me started on those who choose to make a call when with a group of people!!!  Seriously?  Are the people with you not entertaining enough?  Do you need even more stimulation than your current group provides?  Shame on you.

3. In a restaurant setting - there are restaurants that do not allow cell phone conversations.  You should check before making calls while seated.  Just as you should check with your guests (see rule 2 above). Not to mention that restaurants have you seated in close proximity to other diners who did not come out to listen to you jabber on your phone (see rule 1 above).  The only call to take at a restaurant is from your dining companion who is calling to let you know he/she is stuck in traffic and will be arriving shortly or from your babysitter with an important question about your kids and knives.

4. Theater, concert, meetings - really?  It blows my mind that people have to be told over and over again to turn the damn phones OFF while attending any of these events.  And yet, even after being told, you will hear the T-Mobile jingle coming from some jackass' pocket or purse.  Turn them off or leave them at home.

5. Any other person's home or office - see rule 4 above.  Turn your phone off before you go inside.

6. Places of worship - Heee!  The rule I read said "leave your phone in the car.  God may call you but most likely it won't be via Verizon".  No phone necessary in church, temple, or wherever you are communing with your Higher Power.

7. Face to face with another - Have you seen these morons in line at Starbucks yammering away on their phones and they won't say "Hold the line a minute while I place my order"?  Have you ever seen anything ruder than expecting the barista to stand there cooling their heels while they go on with whatever was so fucking important they have the staff waiting and all the people in line behind them as well?  These people must be sooooo much more important than the rest of us peons.  Dickheads.  Shame on them for using such condescending behavior.  I bet they don't tip well either.  Obnoxious self-important wieners.

Your phone is a tool to communicate.  One of many tools you may employ throughout your day.  It is no substitute for face to face. And it should be used with discretion.

p.s. Mr. Big Ed just read this and said his biggest pet peeve regarding cell phones is idiots who use them in public restroom stalls.

Bad Service and Yelp

I have bitched and moaned before about bad service and how customer service in general has just gone in the toilet.  People flat out do not give a big hairy rat's ASS about your satisfaction at the end of a business transaction.  It's as if they have no inkling of an idea that you may, oh I don't know, ever want to darken their doors again!!


What the hell is up with this trend?  It is just getting worse.  People don't seem to know how to say please, thank you or come again.  And you know I am leading up to something that happened recently, don't you?

Just yesterday I ended up The Cove a local eatery.  It's one of those cute little places that sits between a laundromat and a car wash.  It has a beer garden, live music in the evenings, lots of beer and is known around here for being a vegetarian friendly, mostly local and organic food kind of place.  Really casual and on the funky side.  We eat there quite a bit actually.  The food is good.  It is not great by any means.  But it is good and you walk away feeling like you made a healthier choice than many other places you could have gone to.

But yesterday?  Not so much.

There's this one chick who works behind the counter taking orders who is just rude, doesn't seem too bright, isn't really with the program you might say.  And of course she was there.  Now, they have 2 registers but mostly only run with one of them and have people lined up and out the door waiting to place their orders.  So that's a problem right there.

Typically, I get salads or burgers.  But yesterday I was thinking about the nachos.  I have seen plates of nachos being delivered to other tables and they looked good.  On the chalk board menu waaaay up in the air above the counter it said "Bean and cheese nachos with avocado dip".  (wth is avocado dip?  is it guacamole? is it mayonnaise-y?)

So when it was my turn to go to the counter I asked the Rude Chick "What is the avocado dip on the nachos?"

Rude Chick: Oh, it's avocado mixed with sour cream.

Me:  That sounds really good.

RC: Yeah, it's got like pico de gallo stuff, tomatoes, onions, cilantro in it too.

Me:  No, I better not get that.  I don't eat onions.

RC:  Oh, you'll like this.  It's really good.

Me:  No, I don't do onions.  But, could I just get . . . .

RC: (interrupting me) No, it is already mixed in.  We can't take it out for you.  But you should try it.  it's really good.  You would like onions if you tried this.

Me:  No, I wasn't going to ask that.  I was going to ask . . .

RC: (interrupting me continually) Here, let me get this.  (she walks off and returns with a small cup of the dip stuff)  Taste it.  and she shoves it across the counter into my face.  Here, taste it!

Me: No, thank you.  I don't want it.  I am trying to tell you that I don't want it.

RC:  Well, are you allergic?

Me:  Let's just say I don't like them and they don't like me. (looking back at my friends in line, and wondering WTF)

RC:  If you would just taste this, you would like it.

Me:  No.  I didn't get to be 50 flipping years old without knowing what I like and don't like. No thank you.  (I was trying my best not to blow up on her triflin' ass, but she was making it extremely difficult)

RC:  Fine. Do you want beef or chicken on your nachos?

Me: You know what, I don't want any.  I am not eating here.  (And at this point the white hot rage that comes from the pit of your stomach and moves up had come up and hit the top of my head.  And I had had ENOUGH).

And I walked over to my friends and said "Sorry, but I can't eat here.  We'll have to meet another time".

And I left.

Yeah, I probably could have handled it better.  I could have stood there and demanded to see a manager and held up the line that was going on f o r e v e r.  I could have stood my ground and insisted that the Rude Chick not take my order and get someone else.  But at that moment I was just so completely over all the business of no one listening to me and taking my words seriously, that I could not imagine dragging this out any further.

But I did get on yelp.com and write a scathing review of the service.  My friend, the Mom of the Peach says that I should also call the owners and managers and tell them.  I don't know if I care to even bother.

If a place of business doesn't care enough to hire the best possible person to be the Face of the Company to all who walk in, why is it my business to tell them to handle their shit better?  Do it right or expect to lose customers.  That's it.

And as of right now, they have lost me.  I was going there about once every two weeks.  And I never went alone.  So that's a fair amount of business from one source.

The restaurant business is notorious for being hard to keep your head above water.  I have read that most businesses don't last 7 years.  It is a tough, very competitive line to be in.

All the more reason it would behoove the owners to make sure, make DAMN SURE that one rude employee who half-asses her job is not ruining their business.  Is this not Rule #1 in any business handbook anywhere?

Another thing about this particular restaurant's system that is bad is that the servers tip jar is at the register.  How many of the servers get short-changed on the tips due to the interaction with the Rude Chick behind the register?  My guess is a whole bunch.

What say you?  Should I follow up as a courtesy to the owners or managers of this establishment or just let it lie and not go back?

No words

Enjoy!

You're welcome

Sort of a rant. Or maybe a complaint. You be the judge.

So I go to Hobby Lobby as one does when one is looking to purchase some fabric.  I have a love/hate relationship with HL.  They carry so many things that I love.  They also carry a TON of cheap made in China crap that we need to quit importing.  I would love to be able to boycott HL, but I am not there yet.  I do put down anything cute I have picked up when I see the ubiquitous Made in China sticker on bottom though.

Anyhoo, I am the fabric department looking for, well, fabric!  I needed some black fabric to use as a table covering for an event we are attending as a sponsoring group.  So we are using black as our table background so that all our pretty bright colored brochures and things "pop" as all the designers say.

I roamed around and scoped out all the different solid black fabrics and picked out the one I wanted and took it to the big table where they cut it for you.  The HL fabric-cutting lady says "How much you need?"

To which I replied "Well, the tables are six feet and I want hang down on each side of 12 to 18 inches.  Let's say, 18 inches on each side.  So that's another 36 inches, plus the six feet.  Cut me a piece of 9 feet, please."

You are never going to believe what she said.

Are you ready?

Here's what she said.

"I can only do yards. How much is that in yards?"

Really?

W T F ???

She works in fabric.  She works in fabric cutting said fabric.  And she DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO CONVERT FEET TO YARDS!!!

And it was an easy one, too!  It wasn't like I said give me 8 5/8 feet and then she would have to break out the calculator that was right next to her.

Holy crap.  I can't be an old fart and curmudgeon and blame it on the young whippersnappers and their new-fangled math, because this lady was older than me.  She didn't know.  And worse, she didn't really seem to give two shits.

Rant Coming! Watch out

It has definitely been a while since I have ranted.  But there are a few things that have been irritating me. So why wouldn't I want to share them with you???


First up!  This has got to be the most obnoxious, insufferable frigging ad going.

Take a watch and tell me if this would induce you to want what they are selling:

Really???  "That's so 12 seconds ago"  Really?  Is this where we are as a people?  12 seconds ahead of our friends who we now think are so lame and un-cool.  Bet those friends never call you again on your SmartAss Phone.

What a bunch of dickheads.

Next up, ANOTHER douche-y ad trying to make you feel lame if you don't have the biggest, bestest and latest.

That commercial right there will keep me from EVER buying a fucking iPhone.  What is this?  Shame people into feeling so bad about their lives they just can't live without your product?

My phone has a droid market just like that app store, and I can scroll through it just as quickly and get the exact same apps FOR FREE and have them on my phone just as quickly.  Where is the advantage?

Sorry, but if your marketing tool is to make people feel less-than, you have lost me (and hopefully all others with any sense of self esteem) right there.  There is a line you cross when talking about how awesome your newest Thneed is and how remarkably stupid your Thneed-less target audience is, and AT&T and Apple have done this for me.

And this is how I feel about that.

And finally!!!  Here's what they really mean.   I couldn't say it any better than these guys:

New Product!!

Girls, you are going to be so excited (and Up-cited too!) when you hear what I have to tell you.

You know how we all love Girl Scout cookies?  We all have our favorites.  And you can only get them once a year.  And then those darn cookies are glued to your ass for the next 12 months?  You know what I am talking about.


Look at this!!

Those are Girl Scout Cookie Lip Smackers!   Mmmmmm.

All the goodness of the cookies, none of the calories.

Stocking Stuffers!

Available at Claire's and at the Evil Empire Sprawl-Mart.  But please, go buy yours at Claire's.

I will be heading out there today.

Oh, and before I do head out I had something to tell you.  I bought the Market Pantry (Target brand) of Ro-Tel to put in a dish since I don't buy Ro-Tel any longer and guess what?

NO WHITE BPA CARCINOGENS!!!

Hooray for Target!

Guess who will be getting a glowing atta-boy from me today?

Also, I have had such wonderful experiences lately shopping in Lowe's doing all these home projects that I went to their website to see if I could let them know.  And right there under customer service is a little link to click on for "Employee Compliments".  They made the shopping experience pleasant and then they made it really easy to let them know.  Win, Win on that one.

And this is why I heart the Lowe's.

Lockout Schlockout

Dear NBA,

We, your adoring and ardent fans, beseech you to get your shit together.  Enough is enough.  Everyone knows it's always the fault of the other party when 2 sides can't come together in peace, love, and harmony.

But, who is really paying the price for this dick-measuring debacle?  While you are waiting for the other side to flinch, blink and say Uncle, who is losing out?  Hmmm?

Would it be us, the fans?

Why yes, it would!

And here's a little heads up for you:

If you keep this shit up you are going to LOSE fans!  Left and right, people will quit caring.  


Right now, do I know where any of my beloved Spurs are?  Nope.
Do I care?  Just a little.  And a little less than I cared last week.  And less than the week before.

So, as a mom I have this to say, "Get back to work.  Get back to doing what you signed up to do. Quit being greedy bastards.  And if there are less asses in the seats for your games when you do start up again, that is the price you will have to pay.  And there will be major sucking up you will have to do to help your fan base remember why they liked you in the first damn place.  I will say this one more time, Get. back. to. work.  Enough is enough, already."

Most sincerely,

Lisa Pie who finds herself less and less of a fan as time goes by

List of Six

I just got an email that talked about the List of Six.  I am over 50 flipping years old and am just now being told about this! What gives?  Why am I always out of the loop?

Apparently there is a List of Six things that you are allowed to be as snobby about as you want to be.  But only six.  After that you are just being a snob and no one wants to put up with your triflin' ass.

This article gave examples of the perfect cup of coffee, hubcaps, head-turning boots, whatever floats YOUR boat.  You are allowed six items to be that particular about and the whole world will be with you and support this.

So of course I had to start thinking about what my perfect List of Six might be.  And as they love to say on DWTS, "here in no particular order" is my list.

1. Vosges Chocolate Bars

Have you tried these?  Oh. My. Freaking. Goodness.  The absolute BEST chocolate bars made.

The very first one I ever tried is the Red Fire Bar.

It's like letting all the best things about Mexico melt on your tongue at the same time.  Deep chocolate, vanilla, a little cinnamon, and then different types of dried chiles that wake up the back of your throat. Lordy, lordy, I don't even know what to tell you about this one.  It is still my favorite, even after trying so many others.

My second favorite bar from Vosges is the Mo's Bacon Bar.  Chocolate, applewood bacon and alderwood smoked salt all combine to make the perfect taste experience ever.

Until . . . . .  My sister bought me a box of Vosges Mo's Bacon Chocolate Chip Pancake Mix!

I know, right!!!

Some warm pure maple syrup on top of those babies and you will want to sit right up and slap your mama.  It's like a bit of heaven on a fork.

So yeah, I am gonna be a snob about the Vosges chocolate.  Check out their website to see all the outstanding flavor combinations and giftie stuff they have.

2. This one is going to be completely different, but I am going to be a pushy advocate here.  I have become extremely selective about how things are packaged, where they come from and how those companies choose to treat their employees and Mother Earth.  So if I have a choice of a product that is inexpensive but bad environmentally produced or an alternative that is much more sustainably produced and more expensive I am going to support the sustainable one.  Less often due to the cost, but enough so that they know to keep doing what they are doing.

Case in point; I was looking for some bay scallops for a recipe the other day.  Bay scallops are the cute smaller ones about the size of mini marshmallows, not the big ones you want to wrap with bacon.  The store I was at had 2 scallops, the big ones and the little ones.  I needed the smaller ones for my recipe (which I need to share with you) but on the sign in the scallop bin in the fine print it said 2 things that got me. 1. Farm Raised and 2. Product of China.  Ewww and Ewwwww.  There was so much wrong with that product there was no way in hell I was going to buy it.

If you don't believe me just go google factory farming of fish and seafood and see what you think.  Then think about doing that in China.  They are willing to put melamine in the baby formula, put almost nothing in their cheaper drugs so essentially you are wasting your money and NOT getting well by taking them, and to top it all off these scallops then have to be shipped all the way across the world to get here.  That sounds safe and appetizing, doesn't it?

By the by these farm-raised Chinese bay scallops were going for 5.99 per lb.

The other scallops that I ended up buying claimed to be wild-caught from the U.S.A.  They were 15.99 per lb.

I consider the extra $20. I paid for those 2 lbs. of scallops a bargain.  And if it meant that I couldn't afford the difference, then we would have had beans and rice instead.  Be selective and never settle for an inferior product.  I promise you won't be happy with it anyway.

So that is my number 2.

3. My Teva sandals.

I used to be a shoe-holic.  I had so many pairs of shoes it was crazy!  Like more than 100 crazy.  That's how crazy I was about shoes.  Love the shoes!  I still love shoes.

But if I look at my life on a day-to-day basis and what I do and where I go and what I wear to these things, I see a pattern of wearing the same 7 or so pairs of shoes on a more consistent basis and the others less often.

And I said to myself the other day, "Self, if you could only have one pair of shoes for the rest of your days, which ones would they be?"

My Teva sandals.  Hands down. Number one choice, no debate.  Love the Tevas!  Other than dressing up, there is nothing you can't do in these shoes.  Nothing.

4. Giant screen t.v., cable and dvr.

Oh please!  I know it makes me look like a wiener that watches too much mind-numbing t.v.  But have you met me?  I can't imagine any person that loves their t.v. as much as I do.  And t.v. combined with a great cable package with a dvr?  Well, you have just hit the motherlode!!

I can think of many, many things I would, and do, give up to keep that t.v., cable, dvr combo going.

5. Customer Service.

I am fanatical about great customer service.  If you as a company don't care enough to put your best people in the front lines dealing with your customers, you don't deserve to have my money end up in your profits.  That's it.

Treat me with respect, consideration and above all, do what you say you will do.  Have some integrity, for heaven's sake!  And I will be a loyal customer forever.  But you fuck me over and treat me badly (speaking directly to YOU dickweeds at Home Depot) and that's it.  We are done.  I will never, never darken your door, I will never drop another penny into your coffers and I WILL tell every single person I ever come in contact with about your shoddy excuse for customer service.

Oh hell, now I have gone and gotten on my high horse about the jackwagons at Home Depot again.

I treat my clients with the respect that I expect to be shown and can't imagine why it should ever be otherwise.  And this is why I am happy with T-Mobile.  They are always, and I mean ALWAYS, great to deal with.

Yay T-Mobile!!  (boo, hiss on the Home Depot)

6. My Borsa Bella Bag.

I have shown you my Borsa Bella bag before.  (Good Lord, that was alliterative!!)

This is the fabric I chose.  It's called Kleo Pink.  Isn't it gorgeous?  I have the larger Kindle DX and so I have the larger eReader bag to house it.  In the front zipper pocket I have room for the headphones, the little reading light, the charging cord and any other little things I need to have with my Kindle.

If you have an electronic device of any kind , an iPad, an eReader, a laptop, whatever it is, if you want to carry it around with you safely and in style you should have a custom-made Borsa Bella Bag.   I truly love my Borsa Bella bag.  Enough so that I called Melissa and had her custom make a particular bag with a certain fabric and do custom monogram on it for my mama for her birthday.

So go check out Borsa Bella Bags and tell Melissa I sent you.  She had a deal on facebook for a while that if you liked her page she would give you a code for a discount.  Check it out and see if it is still running.

Okay, that's my List of Six for today.  I am sure if I made it again next week it might be different.  Maybe not.  But it's a woman's perogative to change her mind.  Just ask Bobby Brown!

Please do share your List of Six here, I would love to see them.

Ranting. again.

I have decided I am on the path to becoming a curmudgeon.  And I like it that way.

Here are a few things that have irritated the beejeebers out of me lately:

1. Initials.  Wtf is up with companies wanting to go by initials and distancing themselves from their original names?  Case in point:  DQ

We know this stands for Dairy Queen.  Is it the Dairy or the Queen they want to avoid?

How about KFC?   It stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Do they think if they don't call it that, we will all relax and go eat a bucket full and think it is NOT fried?

And while we are on Kentucky Fried Chicken, what is up with those idiots using Sweet Home ALABAMA as the theme song of their commercials?   Is Kentucky in Alabama?  Not the last I looked at a map, it wasn't.

P&G, same thing.  Procter and Gamble, is that so hard to say?  It's two more syllables to say the name correctly.

2. Remember recently when I was bitching about the moron contestants on Jeopardy! who say "hunnerd"? Well, it still bothers me.

3. Lately, I have noticed a huge increase in the spelling errors on the news.  When they put the headlines across the bottom of the t.v. screen, or in the crawl below that (both of which annoy the crap out of me) they have more and more errors all the time.  What is up with that?  Are there no standards at CNN?  Does no one really give a shit anymore?

4. I went to a TGI Fridays today for lunch and believe me when I tell you it is the last time I will make that mistake.  2 or 3 weeks ago I met some friends there for lunch and they had notices taped up at eye-level all over the front doors telling us that their credit card machines were down and they were only able to accept cash.  Ok, that's understandable.  Today, there were more notices on the doors saying that all their grills were broken and you could not order burgers, steaks or anything grilled.  Wtf?

So when I walked in the ditzy girl/hostess person says to me, "Hi, welcome to Fridays. Did you see the signs?"  To which I replied "Yes I did, and the last time I was here you had signs about the credit card machines."  She just looked at me with a vacant look in her eyes and asked if I wanted a table or booth. Dumb ass.  No acknowledgement of yes, this happened.  No friendly banter with the customer to smooth over the fact that this place is falling apart.  Nothing.

Yep, last time at Fridays.

Speaking of chain food places that have gone downhill, have any of you noticed how shitty things have gotten at Chili's?  Over the last couple of years the quality of the food and service have just plummeted. We decided the last time we were there many months ago, that it would be the very last time.

Listen, the long list of chain restaurants that I have given up just keeps growing and growing.  Applebee's, Mickey D's, Burger King, Whataburger, Chili's, P.F. Chang's, Melting Pot, Ruby Tuesday's, IHOP (more initials), those are the ones I can think of right off the top of my head.  It was 2002 when I last went to a Burger King.

I don't miss any of those places and I guess they don't miss me either.

5. MTV's show 16 and Pregnant hit an all-time low last night.  I was yelling at the t.v. the whole time it was on and towards the end I just got sad and depressed.  Good Lord, it was the worst one yet.  The mom of this girl was so unplugged from her daughter's life it just made me want to alternately cry in despair or grab that woman by the neck and throttle her.  Holy shit.  This poor girl is anorexic and just crying out (figuratively and literally) for her mama to get involved and help her.  Absolutely broke my heart.  The only saving grace of this situation is that the boyfriend/baby daddy was a really good guy with an optimistic outlook and more patience than should be legal.  My heart was just breaking for this girl, the boyfriend, and the little baby.  So so sad.

In addition to the "teen pregnancy is 100% preventable" disclaimer they also had to throw up some for eating disorders.  Oh!  And get this!  When the girl was asking for help to figure out how to manage her food intake and such, the doctor just gave her a lame-ass response about eating fruit instead of cookies.  Not exactly helpful.  Especially since they should have had a full work up and been aware of the eating disorder and been more proactive with her diet.

I think I am grumpy and giving over to my curmudgeonly urges due to the fact that I am STILL getting up at the crack of dawn most every day, and I still have at least 10 more days of doing this.  So I will do my best to be perky, chipper and full of pep with my next post.

Feel free to share a few rants and let me know what bugs you.

And then the Angels came down and sang, "Hallelujah, Hoss!!"

Yes indeedy, there was singing!  You know why, don't you?  Those men showed up and installed my brand new and oh-so-gorgeous new cooktop (that being the new proper name) and vent-a-hood which is nowadays called a range hood.  Does this not put you in the mood to sing "Home, Home on the Range (hood)"?  Or picture the Lone Ranger (in a hood)?

"Hoss, you bring your ole Pappy that thar range hood now, ya hear?"  "Dag-nabbit Pa, I ain't done whittlin' the range hood, you jest hold yer horses!"

And as happy as I was about all this, I was also the same amount of frustrated that my beautiful 24-inch iMac has turned on me.  Here I am full of glowing reports and nothing but kind and loving things to say about this machine and what does it do to me?  It won't let me post any of the 16 photos I have for you of the Before, During and After of the Appliance Installation. (This is actually my second attempt because I had to close everything up and walk away)  So, here I go trying once again.  Cross your fingers, toes, eyes, arms, legs, whatever it is you want to cross for luck.  and here goes!

Yea!!!  First is the old Jenn-Air with the non-functioning useless downdraft, and then the circa 1977 vent-a-hood.  I wish I had thought to put the hood picture above the Jenn-Air picture since that is the way they are in real life.  Oh well, live and learn.  You see how big and bulky that vent-a-hood is?  Guess how many times I have smacked my head on the sharp pointy corners?

Oh look!!  Not one, but TWO, count them, TWO installer/delivery dudes!!  Oh my stars and garters, was I ever happy to see them.  This is them unhooking the behemoth that was the vent-a-hood.

Look!  It's all gone!  Bye bye, so long, farewell, adios!  And if you look above the cabinets you can see my beautiful green tea ice cream colored walls.  I adore that color!

This is the top side of the brand spanking new range hood.  See how sleek and modern?  Normally, sleek and modern aren't my taste, but apparently it is when we are talking about vent-a-hoods, I mean range hoods!

Look!  large cavernous hole where the old Jenn-Air used to reside.  And a ton of crap on either side of that hole due to everything being moved about.  Do you think I have enough wooden spoons?  They are one of the things I collect.  Every time we go to a new place I look for a hand made wooden spoon.

Ta-Da!  The beginnings of a new cooking experience for me!  And a whole lot of crap covered in sawdust due to the hole having to be cut.

Isn't it a sight to behold?  Do you see how much headspace there is now?  Can you see the line of sticky stuff where the old vent-a-hood used to be?  I have some Goo-Gone that should take care of that.  I can hardly WAIT to get in there and get all FIVE burners going at once!  There will be some cooking going on this weekend.  Woo Hoo!!!

I didn't have to kill anyone, my head didn't explode and I am deliriously happy with my new shiny pretty toys.  Yea!!!

Waiting . . .

Still waiting on my scheduled Monday delivery.  I alternate between the old ballad "I've been waiting! for a girl like you" by Foreigner (right?) and the newer "Waiting, waiting on the world to change" and when I don't have these lovely ditties stuck in my head, I am going with the Jeopardy music.

I did receive a call from one of the many and plethora of supposed delivery guys that I have spoken with over the last week who tells me that he might be showing up today.  He might have one or he might have both items and did I want him to bother coming by with just one?  I told him that if I didn't have both items installed today he would be able to see my head explode from across town.

My new facebook post says that Customer Service Departments should all be changed to The Department of Broken Promises.  Dastardly dogs, all of them.

More later, in case they actually DO show up.  If not, please look out your window to have a better view of my head exploding.

I am trying to be calm.

I was waiting all day to post the before and after photos of my brand spanking new cooktop and vent-a-hood.  I took all kinds of photos of the Before starring the old Jenn-Air and the really really old vent-a-hood.  And waiting and waiting for the delivery/installer dudes to deliver and install the gorgeous Consumer Reports-rated new stuff.  I am trying to be calm.

So last week I trotted myself on down to Sears because the Consumer Reports top 2 rated cooktops are sold there and scoped everything out.  Sears was having a 25% off sale on these types of large appliances.  I did select what I wanted and paid for them. (So much for increasing my savings acct. by $20,000 this year.)  I am trying to be calm.

Then Mr. Big Ed kept haranguing me and asking a million questions about what they looked like, how are the burners configured and how far out does the new sleeker vent-a-hood stick out and that sort of thing.  Who knew he cared?  Who knew he was the least bit interested?  Not me.

I had the bright idea of getting out my receipts and looking up the Model No. of each and showing them to him on the Sears website.  Plugged in the number for the cooktop and it was there, all shiny and pretty.  Plugged in the number of the vent-a-hood and guess what?  It was the WRONG ONE!!!  That little pencil neck sales dude was off by one digit and they were going to try and install a 30" vent-a-hood in a 36" hole.  Wouldn't that be attractive?  I am trying to be calm.

So I called Sears at the number my pencil neck sales dude wrote on the receipt and guess what happened?  Did you guess that I got an automated answering machine that asks 5 gazillion questions?  That is what happened!   I did finally get through to the store, and was told they were all too flipping busy to talk to me and fix my problem.  I did give them all my info and someone was to call me back directly.  I am trying to be calm.

You know that never happened, don't you?  I called Sears 2 more times trying to get through and then I got pissed.  Seriously.  Pissed.  Off.  Why don't the customer service people of the world understand that when they piss off a 50 year old menopausal woman who has raised TEENAGERS, they are going to get a huge ration of shit and then they will get the short end of the stick.  I have given up trying to be patient with idiots and I refuse to EVER suffer any fools again.  If you don't like people, and you don't want to apologize profusely, get the hell out of customer service.  I am trying to be calm.

You know what I did?  I put on my "I mean business" pants and took all my paperwork and went over there and demanded to speak with a manager.  Then I got some new pencil neck sales dude to call the warehouse and cancel the 1st (wrong) vent-a-hood and order the 2nd (correct) one.

Since then I have had about 10 phone calls from 2 different delivery/installer companies both claiming to be the ones who are going to bring and install my 2 new appliances.  And just now?  I got a call from one of them saying that since my 1st vent-a-hood was cancelled they can't bring me the cooktop because it is now "AN INCOMPLETE ORDER".  WTF???  So, complete that order and bring me the right vent-a-hood!  That was my reply.  I am STILL trying to be calm.

Then I was told that no, the warehouse was closing and this would all have to be resolved tomorrow. I have now learned which answers to give to the automated prompts on the Sears phone system and got through to pencil neck sales dude #3 who assures me that both items will be delivered and installed tomorrow.  I am trying to be calm.

Any bets on whether that will really happen?  Any bets on whether or not I will ever really be calm? Stay tuned for the updates and hopefully photos of the new applicances.  I will be sitting on Mr. Big Ed's meditation cushion trying to get as Zen as possible.