I am trying to be calm.

I was waiting all day to post the before and after photos of my brand spanking new cooktop and vent-a-hood.  I took all kinds of photos of the Before starring the old Jenn-Air and the really really old vent-a-hood.  And waiting and waiting for the delivery/installer dudes to deliver and install the gorgeous Consumer Reports-rated new stuff.  I am trying to be calm.

So last week I trotted myself on down to Sears because the Consumer Reports top 2 rated cooktops are sold there and scoped everything out.  Sears was having a 25% off sale on these types of large appliances.  I did select what I wanted and paid for them. (So much for increasing my savings acct. by $20,000 this year.)  I am trying to be calm.

Then Mr. Big Ed kept haranguing me and asking a million questions about what they looked like, how are the burners configured and how far out does the new sleeker vent-a-hood stick out and that sort of thing.  Who knew he cared?  Who knew he was the least bit interested?  Not me.

I had the bright idea of getting out my receipts and looking up the Model No. of each and showing them to him on the Sears website.  Plugged in the number for the cooktop and it was there, all shiny and pretty.  Plugged in the number of the vent-a-hood and guess what?  It was the WRONG ONE!!!  That little pencil neck sales dude was off by one digit and they were going to try and install a 30" vent-a-hood in a 36" hole.  Wouldn't that be attractive?  I am trying to be calm.

So I called Sears at the number my pencil neck sales dude wrote on the receipt and guess what happened?  Did you guess that I got an automated answering machine that asks 5 gazillion questions?  That is what happened!   I did finally get through to the store, and was told they were all too flipping busy to talk to me and fix my problem.  I did give them all my info and someone was to call me back directly.  I am trying to be calm.

You know that never happened, don't you?  I called Sears 2 more times trying to get through and then I got pissed.  Seriously.  Pissed.  Off.  Why don't the customer service people of the world understand that when they piss off a 50 year old menopausal woman who has raised TEENAGERS, they are going to get a huge ration of shit and then they will get the short end of the stick.  I have given up trying to be patient with idiots and I refuse to EVER suffer any fools again.  If you don't like people, and you don't want to apologize profusely, get the hell out of customer service.  I am trying to be calm.

You know what I did?  I put on my "I mean business" pants and took all my paperwork and went over there and demanded to speak with a manager.  Then I got some new pencil neck sales dude to call the warehouse and cancel the 1st (wrong) vent-a-hood and order the 2nd (correct) one.

Since then I have had about 10 phone calls from 2 different delivery/installer companies both claiming to be the ones who are going to bring and install my 2 new appliances.  And just now?  I got a call from one of them saying that since my 1st vent-a-hood was cancelled they can't bring me the cooktop because it is now "AN INCOMPLETE ORDER".  WTF???  So, complete that order and bring me the right vent-a-hood!  That was my reply.  I am STILL trying to be calm.

Then I was told that no, the warehouse was closing and this would all have to be resolved tomorrow. I have now learned which answers to give to the automated prompts on the Sears phone system and got through to pencil neck sales dude #3 who assures me that both items will be delivered and installed tomorrow.  I am trying to be calm.

Any bets on whether that will really happen?  Any bets on whether or not I will ever really be calm? Stay tuned for the updates and hopefully photos of the new applicances.  I will be sitting on Mr. Big Ed's meditation cushion trying to get as Zen as possible.