Random Musings

The Random Musings posts are the easiest for me because this is how my brain works, popping from one thought to the next with no regard for connectivity.  Here goes!!

Last night I was in bed getting ready to fall asleep  play games on my Kindle and Mr. Big Ed was already fast asleep as he goes to bed about 4 hours ahead of me.  When all the sudden he started jerking, moving and making sounds (reminds of me how a dog barks and runs in their sleep) and then he kicked me!  He KICKED me!!  AND DID IT AGAIN!  I started trying to wake him up and said "Hey, you are kicking me!" And in his dream fog he replied back "Yeah, I know. I was trying to kick the zombies".

Huh?  Zombies?

That was quite the unexpected end to my day!  Can't wait to talk to him about this over dinner and see if he remembers any of it.

A few days ago it was one of my sister's birthday.  She was turning the Big 5-0.  I did that just a few years ago my own self and wanted to come up with something fun to mark the occasion for her.  So I turned to my friend Google, and speaking of Google let me say this:  I do NOT like the new Google logo thing.  But back to the Googling adventure.  I asked Google about what products were put on the market the same year that she was born, 1965 and got a nice long list of really fun things.  Then I set about trying to find some of them.

Here's what I got:

The Sound of Music - they had a 50th anniversary edition available

Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella - similar 50th anniversary edition

Mattel's See n Say, the Farmer says - This was a reproduction and it was the very first toy she was ever given as a Christmas gift so I was really happy to find one.

Operation Game - vintage with all the parts, money, even the original rubber band.

Mystery Date - reproduction of the original.

Spirograph - Be still my heart!  I loved the Spirograph so much!!!  This is an original one with everything still in the box minus the green pen.

Barrel O Monkeys - old, vintage, original.  Cute!

Spaghetti-Os - brand new can

Honeycomb Cereal - of course, new.

I found really fun brightly colored striped and polka-dotted giftwrap papers and wrapped them and set them out in a big pile in my family room because she happened to be in town this weekend.  She and her friend and friend's son all came over for dinner last night and I had her open them and try to figure out the connection between all these things.  I think the "50th Anniversary edition" on the damn DVDs gave it away but it was still lots of fun and I hope she likes them.

AND we broke out the Mystery Date game and played.  That was lots of fun.  We had dinner and I made a birthday cake which we were all too full to really enjoy.

This is the week leading up to the premiere of the new season of Doctor Who.  The 52nd season as a matter of fact.  And months ago they announced that there would be a showing of the first episode for this season in the movie theaters.  They did this last year and I got tickets and we all went dressed in our best Doctor Who outfits.  So the minute I saw this was happening again this year I snagged 2 tickets.  I have been beside myself about this ever since!

Until last week when I watched the trailer about the theater showing and see that it is actually going to be THE LAST EPISODE FROM LAST SEASON with a "special preview" of the upcoming episode.  WTF??

Are they kidding me?  What complete ass whistles.  That was a really crappy thing to do.  And guess what?  The new season starts this coming Saturday.  And this coming Saturday I will be at my mama's house at a family birthday party for my sister.  The one who was here.

Well, sonofabitch.  Now, not only do I NOT get to see the episode beforehand in the theater in 3D, but I also don't get to watch it on Saturday with the rest of the world.  I will get to watch it off the DVR much later then everyone else. Goddammit.

In other news, fall is shaping up to be absolutely gorgeous around here.  The sky is such a beautiful shade of blue, the birds and other critters seem quite happy.  And I have started decorating for fall/Halloween/Days of the Dead.  By decorating I mean I have hung Days of the Dead wreaths on my front doors and put out a package of Pumpkin Spice Kisses and some Halloween flavored Peeps. But it's a start!

Hope your fall or spring depending on your hemisphere is shaping up nicely!

Worst Blogger Ever Returns

Hey there!  Yes, it has been 2 full weeks since I last posted anything.  Yes, I do realize I am in the Worst Blogger Ever category.  But, I have been really busy.  For reals.

My sweet little Rachel Pie is home and we have been busy staying up damn near all night long playing cards, drinking tea, drinking eggnog, crocheting, watching Christmas movies, you know, the usual.

Plus there have been many days of trudging through the grocery store to get everything we need to make:

A. Chex Party Mix.  It is not the holidays around here without tons and tons of Chex Party Mix. My s-i-l and I both make it and we go through that stuff like there's no tomorrow.

B. Tamales.  Tamales are a traditional thing to make for Christmas eve and we really try to make good ones and have enough to get through New Year's.

C. Christmas candy and treats to pass out to the neighbors.

D. Regular meals during all of this holiday shenanigans.

Now about the candy, let me tell you this, I got the recipe from the blog of someone else, and since I haven't asked her permission to send you over there, I won't do that just yet.  But if she tells me "yes, please send your 5 readers over here" I will do just that.  I got the recipe she calls Crock Pot Candy and thought it seemed like a really fun idea.  So I bought all the ingredients and did as it told me to layer them up in the crock pot and leave them for 3 hours.  DO NOT TOUCH OR STIR FOR THREE HOURS! And then you stir it all up and drop by spoonfulls into little miniature cupcake papers to set up.

I left it the requisite 3 hours and went in to find a 2 inch thick wall all the way around the inside of the crock pot of burnt all the way to charcoal mess.  It was horrendous.  You have never smelled anything so gross.  Not to mention it took days to soak, scrub and chisel that crap out of the crock pot and try to get rid of the burnt smell.

I got a few more ingredients and tried again.  I'm so brave, right?

This time I checked it after 1 hour and it was almost ready.  After 1 1/2 hours it was perfect.  My crock pot must run really hot in the low heat button.  I don't know what's up with it.  But half the time was just right for my crock pot.  I guess crock pots are like microwaves in that they are each a bit different and quirky.

So Rachel Pie and I got all the little shiny gold and silver papers ready and dropped all the ooey gooey goodness in to them and I added some crushed peppermint on top for festiveness.  We packaged these in little tins with gold tissue paper and passed them out to the neighbors.  And within an hour of returning home several of them had called to say how much they loved the candy.  Now I don't know about you, but when people come calling with treats I tend to put them on the holiday table to serve along with all my other goodies.  I don't generally open the package and scarf them down right there at the door.  But that is what they seemed to do, and they all loved them.  New recipe to add to the holiday repetoire.

Today is our 30th wedding anniversary.  Can you believe that?  Mr. Big Ed and I are officially old farts if we are that damn old.

Here's something else you aren't going to believe!  (Lisa Pie's blog, where you come to find the unbelieveable and be astounded)  Mr. Big Ed is known far and wide by his lack of the shopping and gifting gene.  The man just doesn't like to shop and is oblivious to gifts, getting or receiving.  It has taken a lot of years for him to get to the point where he is today.

In fairness, it has taken me a lot of years to learn to tone it down when gifting to him, because his not wanting a lot of stuff and a lot of fuss made over him is not a character flaw.

So when we exchanged our anniversary gifts, I almost fell out of my chair when I opened the box to find a 36 inch strand of Tahitian black pearls.

I'll just let that sentence stand alone and let that thought soak in.  Pearl is the traditional gift for 30 year anniversary.  Black pearls are one of the things that would be on my bucket list of things to acquire.

I may have toned down my gift giving just a tad too much, since all I got him was a cute little thing to heat up his towels for after the shower.  I am not saying it's a crap gift, but next to black pearls?  It didn't look all that awesome.  I hope he enjoys it as much as I will enjoy those pearls!

Mr. Big Ed knocks one out of the park!!

Okay, you know how husbands are NEVER as funny as they think they are?  Mr. Big Ed is exceptional in this regard.  I never think his jokes are funny.  He is an unfunny man, is what he is.

We were out driving the other day and it was cold and rainy and pissy and just generally gross.  And on top of that is was dusk-ish so there was very little visibility.  I pulled up to a stop sign at a T intersection and there in the T in front of us was a huge lot very overgrown and lots of trees and such and in there was a deer.  This is not an unusual phenomenon, we have all sorts of great wildlife in our neighborhood.  We were talking about how it must be hard on them in this weather never having a good place to stay warm and dry.  That constant dampness must be a hardship on them.

So I said something like "does he look unhappy?" and Mr. Big Ed says  . . . . .





"He just has that deer in the headlights look".


Ba da pa, buuuum.  (rim shot)

In other news . . . . .

I am so sorry for the delay in posting anything.  But I gotta tell you, after the horror of the last post I just could not figure out a decent way to segway into another topic.  If and when anything happens on that issue, I will be sure to let you know.

So today I am going to ramble on about a few different topics, but first!

Fun with the Obits!

Yay!!!  There were some doozies in this week's obits.  But the first one we are going to talk about sparked a little ruckus in my very own kitchen.  Here's what it said:  "Juan M. is loved and will be greatly missed by his wife of 49 years and 11 months, Teresa S., 4 sons, 8 grandchildren, 1 greatgrandson and well as numerous loving relatives and friends."

**49 years and 11 months??!!  You know good and well someone had already gone to a lot of effort to plan a huge shin-dig for this milestone, right?  So I commented that if I were Teresa S. the beloved wife I would not only be sad but more than a little bit pissed off right about now.


This sparked a whole conversation about how you always read about women passing who have been predeceased by their husbands for years and decades, but men?  2 seconds after the wife dies they are back on the market and have a new wife right away.  You know what I am talking about?  You see it all the flipping time.


Here is where the controversy comes in.  Mr. Big Ed (evil husband) chimes in and says "Well, you don't have to worry about that!"  


Me:  "Really?"


Evil Husband:  "Oh yeah, after 30 years of marriage, who would do THAT again?"



insert 30 seconds of crickets chirping and it slowly soaking in his brain that he actually said that out loud. 




Evil Husband:  "Um, what I mean to say is that, you know, 30 years is enough."


Yeah, like THAT was so much better.  Another short time to let that soak in and then he comes up with this gem:


"What I am trying to say is that after 30 years of you, how could anyone else compare and why would I even bother!"


Whatever.  You know the "he needed killing" defense?


Back to the obits, and not Mr. Big Ed's.

An interesting one began this way "Rick lost his life to lung cancer, on the island of Kauai. He was there accepting a job to teach arts and craft."

**Ok, I have questions.  Did he know he had lung cancer before he moved to Hawaii to teach?  Was he diagnosed after the move?  Did he not want to come back home to the loving family here in Texas to spend his remaining days?  The family did write a very loving and beautiful tribute to him so I don't think there were any hard feelings.


And we have a tie for Most Interesting Way to Say Your Loved One is Deceased.  I will quote the opening to both and let you be the judge.

1. "Lights must have dimmed at chic tourist spots and fine dining establishments around the globe on July 26, when Mary Jane passed after a long illness. She was 85. The fashionable redhead was an enthusiastic world traveler who was always the center of attention, livening up any gathering with her stories and opinions, facts and wise observations, gained from her globetrotting and life experience."

2. " 'O-75' The final bing ball of the final bingo game has been called as the final child of Daniel and Louevie Ophelia was called home on July 27, at the age of 96. She joins her parents, her brothers; Major, Homer, John, Douglas and her sisters; Robbie and Louise as she passes into the hands of the Lord and eternal rest."

**What say you?  Weren't both of those awesome?


Sadly, we are still following the trend towards more and more deaths due to complications of Alzheimer's.  There were no other small children or babies listed other than the one I shared with you on the last post.  My heart still breaks and I still cry every time I think about it.

New topic!

Anyone watching summer t.v.?

Big Brother started up and I was so excited to get to see Evel Dick again and then *poof* he was gone!

Hell's Kitchen is on and it has got to be hard to find that many annoying cooks.

Weeds and the Big C are back on Showtime and both are shaping  up to have a great season.

Entourage is back for it's final season.

Celebrity Rehab is on and good Lord!  What a bunch of idiots!

I hope things are well with you and you are enjoying your summer (or winter if you are reading from the southern hemisphere!).

Evil Husbands and sundry things to discuss

1. I have been gone (not just from the blog world) but gone from my home and out of town. I am not at liberty to discuss the particulars of this impromptu trip.  Suffice it to say, it was necessary and not a pleasure  cruise.

2. Evil husbands.  Mr. Big Ed is going to find a big boot in his ass if he doesn't keep his grubby hands off my gorgeous computer.  I realize he gave it to me as a gift for my birthday.  But that does not give him any more license to fuck with it than it would for him to go wear the jewelry he has given me.  Right?

He did something and I don't really know what it was, but something that has caused my computer and iPhoto in particular to not recognize my camera and I can't get pictures from my camera onto the computer and here.  So now you can't see the photos of the little tiny rescue mama kitty and the two precious little babie kittens.

And it is all Mr. Big Ed's fault.  He was supposed to use the time that I was gone to try and rectify that situation but that didn't happen.  No baby kitten pics for you.  Courtesy of Mr. Big Ed.

Hmmmpphh.

3. BIG BROTHER!!  First off, Evel Dick is back!

And then he is gone.

WTF???

He has posted a long-winded video on his website about how he loves BB, and CBS and even Danielle and how all the rumors are wrong.

So Evel Dick is out.  Who do we like out of this cast?  Certainly not that loud obnoxious Rachel or her idiot boyfriend.  I do like Jeff and Jordan, but good Lord, if those two had a brain they would take it out and play with it.  Probably lose it after that.

But the new herd?  I can't tell if I like any of them or not.  Do you have any favorites?

4. Celebrity Rehab - Oh my.

What is up with Amy Fisher?  There is more than one screw loose with that girl.

5. I haven't read the obits to share with you in several weeks now.  I promise to do that after this Sunday's edition of the paper.

6. Remember that I was doing some new diet plan with my friend Judy?  Well, I did the Phase 1 for 5 or 6 days, and then moved on to Phase 2, and Phase 3.  Then I found a different diet that is a 3 day plan and did that for a while.  I just did the 3 days and repeated.  Like lather, rinse, repeat, you know.

Then when I was gone on my little trip it was impossible to keep up with it so I just went with the rest of the group and didn't make a fuss.  I got right back on the diet today so I am hoping some of these healthier choices I have been making will become second nature and can quit worrying, planning and working so hard at this.

I had lost 10 lbs when I last checked.  The weight loss is important but I am not going to obsess over the scale and the numbers.  I am trying to reduce my craving for sugar and carbs and get healthy, increase my metabolism and these things are all just as important as the weight loss.

7. My s-i-l was recently on a fabulous European vacation and I got a gift from her trip!!  Yay!!  What do you think she brought me?

Did you guess tea?

Did you guess tea that comes in fabulously colored tins?

How about FIVE OF THEM??  Woot!!

They are all exquisite, each one more intriguing-sounding than the last.

Such a pity that Mr. Big Ed has made it impossible for me to show you the lovely teas.  Dastardly dog.

8. We still have the rescue mama kitty and the two babies.  They are 10 days old today.  The babies have already got homes promised to them when they are six weeks old or so.  But the poor little mama kitty doesn't have a home to go after that.  If any of you want her and can provide her a loving warm home, please let me know.  She has a very calm and loving nature and deserves to have a home of her own.

9. I made a new recipe of Baked Tofu Bites tonight and tossed some of them on a bed of spinach and poured a bit of the marinade on it as a dressing.  They were really good.  I am one of the few people I know who really like tofu.

10. Breaking Bad starts back on Sunday.  Don't miss it!  I can't wait to see what Walter and Jesse get up to this season.  I wonder if the brother-in-law DEA guy will make it through this season?

Wish me luck in figuring out what to do about my camera/computer relationship and getting it fixed.

Saving Private MacPhee

There is always something going on around here.  Even days when you think it is as routine and boring as it can be, there is something that will turn interesting.

So, Saturday was shaping up to be a pretty ordinary day.  Other than the fact that I had no car, due to it being in the shop resting and awaiting diagnosis (hopefully today!), it was just a grocery shopping and waiting for my Rachel Pie day.

Finally, my Rachel Pie got here late in the evening and we were all staying up late talking and happy to have her here and I started counting heads as I am wont to do with this herd and found one missing.

And of course, it was that sneaky weasly Angus MacPhee.

I stepped out the front door and called him.  And I heard him saying "Mrowrrrr!" in the distance and thought it was from the roof.  So I went in and told Sparky to get his ass up on the roof and get that fleabag cat.  Sparky contended that if Angus got himself up there he could also get himself back down.

Back outside I go.  I call and he answers, much like a not-very-fun game of Marco Polo.  And it becomes clear that Angus MacPhee is NOT on the roof.  He is further away and lower to the ground.


He is stuck somewhere on The Colonel and Miss Betty's property!!!


If you haven't heard my tales of TC&MB, you need to read about them.  But having my cat who is MOST unwelcome on their property stuck there late at night was not going to be a good situation.

After several scouting expeditions by Mr. Big Ed, Sparky, and myself carrying a flashlight and hoping not to get shot while being mistaken for a burglar, we determined that The Colonel had set a trap next to his front door and that damn fleabag Angus MacPhee had gone and gotten himself trapped!

I was none too happy about this.  But I was to get even LESS happy with Mr. Big Ed's response which was to let him sit in the trap overnight and cry all night.

Seriously?  How can he think this was an option?  Has the man never met me?  You spend 30-odd years with someone and you think they would have a clue.  Hhmmmpph.

So I did what any sane person would do.  I called Miss Betty at the midnight hour and woke her ass up and asked her to please go release my stupid wandering cat.  She made some sort of half-assed excuse about how they are trying to trap skunks.  But truthfully, she was trying to be nice about saying "Keep that damn bird-killer at your own house".

Anyhoo, Angus MacPhee is now safe at home and he wanted to be loved and patted and stroked and talked to for HOURS afterwards.

I went over the next day (Easter Sunday and also The Colonel's 90th birthday) and took them a basket full of lettuce, greens, Swiss chard, zucchini and green onions that Mr. Big Ed picked out of the garden to apologize for waking them in the middle of the night.

The Colonel took me out to where the trap is to show me what the deal is.  Miss Betty has this family of wrens that like to build nests in her front porch area and this year they put their nest in a giant Boston fern and they have 5 little teeny baby wrens they are trying to get grown and safe.  So I promised to keep all my stupid bird-killing machines indoors for a while to give these little guys a better chance at making it to adulthood.

For my end I think the neighborly bonds are still good.  I hope TC & MB feel the same way.  They are nice people.  And it is true what they say about not being able to pick your neighbors.  And also that good fences make good neighbors.

I am mostly grateful that I didn't get shot that night while skulking around their property.

Here's what I forgot to show you earlier this week

Look at that!  It "snowed".  It snowed enought to cover the steps, sidewalk, street and other really cold stuff, but not fully cover the grass.  We must have really warm dirt.  See where there was another car that left early?

I wish we had real snow, real winters.  I loved it so much when we were in Minnesota, the land of 4 distinct seasons.  I loved how things changed so much from month to month.  Come spring, every single month there were totally new things blooming.  There was not a single season I didn't love there. Funny how it is not on my short list of places to retire.  I might have to think on that.

Then when the huge drifts of snow cleared, Mr. Big Ed and I went mattress shopping!  Yea!!  We have needed a new bed for forever it seems.  I got a fabulous coupon deal in the mail from Sears and we spent a lot of time online scoping out what was available and getting Mr. Big Ed over his sticker shock before we ventured out to brave the cold, snow and ice.  And listen, it can be downright painful shopping with Mr. Big Ed.  He shops with both hands tightly over his wallet and his eyeballs glued to the price section of all the signs.  "Mr. Big Ed, which bed is most comfy and the one you think you can sleep on for the next 10 years?"  His answer?  "The cheapest".  Really?  Low prices make you that relaxed, do they?  Me, I need a little more from a bed than just cheapness.

Anyhoo, we headed out to go to Sears and take advantage of the great deal they mailed to me.  But we stopped off at JC Penney first.  We tried out every mattress there.  Now, if you are like me and have not shopped for mattresses in the last 10 years, here's a little head's up. They have store models that have a "Firm" side and a "Plush" side.  This is good because they can show off twice as many beds in half as much space.  It is BAD because there is no possible way for you and another person to both try out the same bed at the same time.  But since Mr. Big Ed thought he wanted a Firm, Hard as a Brick, Really Cheap bed, and I wanted the softest, Princess and the Pea Plushy model, it would have been perfect serendipity if they would just sell us one of those floor models.  Right?

Not a snowball's chance in Texas.

I started taking pics of the beds to document which ones we liked but it turned out to be more informative to take pics of the signs on the beds to remember the names of that model, since they all pretty much look the same.  So we narrowed down the Penney's beds to 4 that we liked.  The Sealy Oak Grove, the Serta Gentle Haven, the Simmons Danvers and the Simmons Marlowe.

Then we drove down to Mattress Firm, which threw me off my game in trying out beds because they had the word FIRM on all the beds and I didn't want to try them out.  And can I just say here that you know you are getting old when you fall in love with the bed with the electric controls to raise and lower the head and the knee sections?  Loved that bed.  Loved that bed.  Mr. Big Ed?  Not so much.  He saw the price and went in to a complete sticker shock and refused to get in it.  Dick.

FINALLY, we made our way to Sears and tried out all their beds and narrowed it down to 4 as well.  Then I pulled out my lovely letter from them entitling me to not only the 50% off, but the store was having another 10% on top of that and my letter gave me an ADDITIONAL 10%, PLUS free delivery and hauling off of Old Lumpy AND a free bed frame.  Turns out only 1 of the 4 we had selected was eligible for all this free stuff.  So we were between 1 bed at Sears and the 4 at Penney's.

Mr. Big Ed came out of his high price-induced coma and told me that the one feature that impressed him above all the others was the ones that had completely separate coils that worked independently from each other rather than as one big connected wire bouncy thing.  That narrowed the list down to 2 of the Penney's beds.  The beds that have this are the Simmons Beautyrest, in case you care.  So back to Mr. J. C. Penney's store we went.

And here is the winner!  The Simmons Beautyrest Danvers in the Plush, cushy, comfy version.  It is due to be delivered on either the 16th or the 18th.  Then Old Lumpy will be carted off by the Penney's people to get a Viking funeral or some such thing.  Normally, I really care about what happens to things, where they go and keeping things out of the landfill that don't necessarily need to be there, but I don't know of anything I can do with this poor, tired old bed.  So if you are in the market for a really old, sad, lumpy, saggy bed you have until either the 16th or the 18th to come get it.

Meanwhile, please feast your eyes on the soon-to-be new bed!  Aaaaah, can't you just feel the relaxation?  I sure can!

And for the last time this month, please do let me know if you want to be in the drawing for some FREE tea!  I will be choosing someone next week.  Maybe I will get organized and do it Monday for Valentine's Day?  Let me hear from you!

He's Home!!!

Yesterday was one of the worst days I have ever had.  I took Lester Buster's "recent pic" and made copies and took it to the vet's office, the Humane Society and wandered the streets.  I posted to our HOA website and fielded phone calls from old ladies who swore they have had him in their backyard since before he went missing.

My son and his girlfriend got home in the afternoon and first thing wanted to know if little Lester Buster had come.  She took off roaming the streets and calling for him after I told them no, sadly my little boy had not yet turned up.

I started freaking out a little bit and doing the whole "make a deal with God" thing.  If only Lester could be okay and come home, I will do x, y and z.  And then my over-active imagination kicked in and I started thinking about how this exact situation must have been the catalyst for Stephen King to write Pet Sematary. And how I would be one of those over-wrought idiots who would take a Zombie-Lester over no Lester. And how it wouldn't be that bad, having a Zombie-Lester.

I had to go to my fortnightly Mah Jongg game and on my way home, I started praying that if it was God's will that Lester Buster NOT come home, that I hoped he would be safe and healthy wherever he was.  Because truly that is what I want.  More than I want him for my own happiness, I want his health and comfort.  But as I drove up my street I looked expectantly at the front of my house to see if he might be up there at the front steps.  Nope, no Lester.

About every 20 minutes I would get up from whatever I was doing and go check the front to see if he had wandered up.  Nope, no Lester.  And I would sit back down and just cry.  I cried so much yesterday.  And I am crying right now while typing this, too.  I guess it is just over-flow.

Anyhoo, the girlfriend-almost-daughter-in-law kept checking and calling for him as well, and about midnight she went out and hollered "Lester!!!" and then it was "Lester! He's here!!"  We all jumped up and went running to the door and here trots Lester.  Going right past us and heading for the food and water bowls.  Like he didn't even give a shit about us.

And I wish so bad that I had had my camera out to show you some pictures of that boy.  But I was in such a state yesterday there was no way I could believe that I would ever get another picture of him, so that didn't happen.  But try to picture this:  all of Lester's white parts looked like his black parts.  He looked like a coal miner!  We kept patting him with warm damp towels to clean him up and we opened up cans of wet food (only for very special occasions) and shooed the other cats away from his canned food and kept asking him "Where were you, Lester?"  "What on earth were you doing, Lester, to get so effing filthy?"  And he just looked at us with his beady red-rimmed eyes from behind all the dust and dirt and said . . . nothing.

Nothing.  Well, in his defense he is a cat and he doesn't speak a whole lot anyway.  But seriously, nothing. No whining or mowing to give us his side of things.  Not a damn word.

So while we are semi-cleaning him and loving him and showering him with affection, I was also secretly looking at his eyes to see if this was a filthy regular Lester or if this was a Pet Sematary Zombie-Lester who just got up from his dirt nap.

The mind is a powerful thing, isn't it?  My plan for the day is to stay at home with Lester Buster.  I had plans but they were cancelled on me, so I am going to stay home with my prodigal cat and pat him and hold him and keep checking his eyes for any signs of Zombie-ism.  : )

Many thanks and lots of love right back at all of you for caring whether he made it home or not.

Oh, and you will hopefully want to stay tuned here because next week is the first of the month and time for another Tea Giveaway!!

p.s. You will be relieved to know that since Lester Buster is back in the fold safe and sound, Mr. Big Ed has been given a reprieve.

Missing Lester Buster

This is a photo of my little Lester Buster.  Lester just had his 10th birthday.  He is at the stage of acting like a rebellious teenager and likes to ignore me when I call him to come inside.

Lester Buster is missing.  Someone who need not be named (Mr. Big Ed) let him go outside last night after dark.  I never let these cats out after dark.

Reason for that is that then I have to stay up till all hours standing in the doorway in my robe calling the little fleabags.  And I don't care to do that.

Anyhoo, everyone else had already gone to bed and I was locking up, turning off the lights and doing a head count and was short one Lester Buster.  Lester is my snuggle bunny and we cuddle and snuggle all night long, so it is hard to go to bed without him.  So I started calling him and checking all over the house, in closets, under things, etc and to no avail.  No Lester.

At 1 a.m. I went out in the car driving all over the neighborhood with my high beams on looking. No Lester.

Mr. Big Ed and both took turns getting up all through the night and checking out front. No Lester.

Here it is 11:30 a.m. and still no Lester.

I have been calling all my neighbors and letting them know to call me if they see his fat self roaming around.

I just printed up a recent picture of him and really?  How recent does a picture need to be?  He doesn't have a new hair style.  He looks exactly the same as when he a baby, just bigger.  Anyhoo, recent picture has been printed and I am going to make some copies and plaster them all over the place while I walk the streets calling his name like a crazy person.

Please cross your fingers that he comes home soon and just has awesome exciting tales of his night out at a kitty rave twirling glowsticks with all the other bad kitties.  I don't think I can do another night without my Lester Buster.

List-Making

There is nothing I find quite as satisfying as making a good To Do List and then checking things off. I do love the lists.

I make To Do Lists, Shopping Lists, Pros and Cons Lists, Project Lists, all sorts of lists.  The problem is keeping up with the lists.

I used to send Mr. Big Ed emails that had To Do Lists because he would "forget" to do things for months on end.  He seemed to appreciate that until one day he tired of that little reminder and it no longer worked. So I would send him an email with the subject line "Not a To Do List".  That worked just a couple of times and then he caught on to that.  He's clever that way.  Heh!  Now?  It doesn't seem to matter what method I employ of reminding him, it is just not going to happen.  And since I do not want to be known as a nag, and I never applied for the job of Official Family Reminder, I just live with things the way they are or I suck it up and just hire someone else to do it.  I think you could say that Mr. Big Ed does not get along well with tasks on his To Do List.  : )

I am currently making a big Project List.  I think spring fever has attached itself to the cedar fever that I already have.  Why else would anyone lay in bed thinking of all the projects that need listing?  But that is exactly what I have been doing.  I need to keep a list-pad in the nightstand drawer so I can write things down right then and get them out of my head.  As a matter of fact, I should just keep a list-pad in my pocket to write things down all the time!

It's Sunday and you know what that means . . . . .

It's time to read the obits with Patty Cakes!

I am off to make myself a big cuppa and get the newspaper and give Miss Patty Cakes a call.  I will be sure to let you know of any exciting developments or great names or eulogies tomorrow.  Enjoy your Sunday however you choose.

Latest phone call from The Colonel

Is there anyone here who remembers the on-going saga of The Colonel and his fence?  Well, if you are interested in reading about that, look to the right and go down to the label "Neighbors" or "fences" or whatever label I put on this exciting event.

But a quick little background to this is that when we bought this house 5 years ago (right after the Queen and King B were married!!)  we met our next door neighbors who we refer to as The Colonel and Miss Betty. TC & MB are lovely people.  They are retired military, he went to Westpoint and then served in WWII, Korea and Viet Nam.  When they retired they decided to stay here rather than move back to the south where they are from.  And this neighborhood was just being built and if you just hold still long enough The Colonel will tell you all. about. the building of his house and then the subsequent building of the rest of the houses.  Here is an interesting little aside, TC & MB have been married 66 years.  They built their retirement home here back in 1973.  Now, that was the first time it ever occurred to me that anyone would live the largest part of their life in their RETIREMENT HOME!  Have you ever thought that?  It was quite the eye-opener for me.

Anyhoo, they have really interesting stories about their travels and what all he did in WWII and where all they have lived.  But as it is with lots of people whose kids, grandkids and even great-grandkids have grown and gone, it's hard to visit with them for just a few minutes.  They are thirsty for conversation and you just can't deliver a piece of their mail that was accidentally in your mailbox and say hey.  No, you will be there for close to an hour.  And the same is true for phone messages they leave you.  They are, shall we say, long-winded?

Don't get me wrong, we love TC & MB.  You just have to plan around phone calls and visits to them because they will take forever.  For ev er.  

So yesterday, Mr. Big Ed sends me an email that has a Google voice-to-text message he received from TC.  Have you done Google voice-to-text?  WTF?  Talk about convoluted interpretations!

Here is the message I received:

Yeah. Hi Ed. Hello, this is al
Message Next. So your yeah, Re,
Martin on those out of a house. Yeah
so young lady over here today. Bye.
Yeah, tell us the There you are man.
Yeah, I think you over a a rattle
snake, yet those cactus pushers in
front of our house between houses.
This is a very serious thing because
we have available. Hey in any a
rattle snakes in this neighborhood.
Bye. Yeah and rattle snake. She
lives in families. Yeah, I think you
over notice. Your talk about it. You
can call me, but that's all I know.
Yeah, I'm not sure. Ohh that it
wants a rattle snake, but I had them
question. The yard man. Yeah, it'll
bye yo out quantities salt water
laws yo. Probably it may have been
yeah a rattle snake. Okay bye. 


(This is what Google Voice does with a strong Southern accent.  Imagine what international messages must be like.)


Rattlesnake, hmm?  Do you think Mr. Big Ed rushed to call TC right back and find out what the hell this was all about?  No he did not.  Who thinks he is too busy to spend an hour or so on that little conversation?  Mr. Big Ed?  Yes, indeedy.  


We have 4 cats that like to roam outside every afternoon. Who should have been worrying about whether our cats might get snakebit?  Mr. Big Ed?


As near as I can figure it out, TC's yard guy found a snake in a cactus patch that sits between TC and his neighbor on the other side and no one seems to know whether or not it was a rattle snake.  Now, if you were in question about this detail, wouldn't you just see if it had a rattle?  I am no expert, but that would be the first thing I would do if I had doubts.  


A few years ago I noticed our dearly departed older King of the House, Gato Pato, was stalking something at the base of one of the big oak trees and I went out there to see what he was doing.  He had chased a snake up the tree and was guarding it and I guess forcing it to stay there.  So I rushed in and called the Wildlife Rescue place and asked about what kind of snakes climb trees and whether or not my Gato Pato was in danger and risking his life to save us all.  Turns out snakes that climb trees are called, Tree Snakes!  gasp!  Tree Snakes. 


They also told me that if I have tree snakes, I probably don't have rats and vermin.  They are the good wildlife you want to stay on your property.  And no, they won't bother fat housecats.  But let me tell you that the tree snake that Gato had treed that day was all mottled brown similar to a rattlesnake.  So, my guess is that if The Colonel has lived in that house for 30+ years and has never seen a rattler, it most likely won't start happening now.


I was going to be really clever and show you pictures of a brown tree snake and a rattlesnake side by side.  But as I looked at tree snake pictures online, you know what I found?  There are literally HUNDREDS of kinds of tree snakes!!  Hundreds!  In every conceivable color.  So, trust me, the one we had was your basic mottled patterned brown like you would expect a rattlesnake to be.


I will probably clear some time out of my calendar and go over and talk to TC & MB and see what happened.  I will let you know if I find out anything interesting.  And I will be kind and give you the shortened Readers Digest version.  : )

Cruisin' - Part I

For those of you who know me you may be surprised to learn that I was totally unprepared for being motion sick on the cruise.  For those of you who don't really know me you may wonder why on earth a person who has always been motion sickness-prone would not seriously consider that this might be a teeny, tiny issue with going on a cruise.

I have always and I mean ALWAYS either had to A. take loads of Dramamine and sleep like the dead through a trip or B. be the driver.  You will be happy to know that since I learned to drive and figured out that driving really helps stave off the effects that I don't take the Dramamine.  I don't know what they put in that Dramamine shit but it knocks me flat the hell out!

Back to the cruise.  Every time I have asked a cruiser how they deal with motion sickness I have gotten the same response from all of them.  (and they are all big fat liars)  "Oh, the ship is soooooo big and stable you won't feel a thing!!!!"  Lying liars, is what those jack asses are.  Lying liars.

So I went with the information provided to me (by the lying liars) and did not prepare myself for being sick.  and dizzy.  and nauseous.  and did I mention dizzy?  We boarded this ship and it was Party Central immediately.  Oh, the happiness surrounded us!  We set sail around 4:30 - 5 -ish.  I didn't wear a watch. It is not a vacation if you have a watch.  We then got ourselves all dressed up and made our way to the dining room.  And immediately upon sitting at that rocking, rolling, vibrating table I had to get up.  I was having such a hard time keeping my lunch where it belonged that there was no way I could eat.  So I excused myself and went to my room and was very sad for myself that no one (ahem, no one, cough, Mr. Big Ed) came with me and tried to take care of me and make me feel better.  No one.

You know, when you take a little trip with 15 of your closest family members including your mother, and your husband and your offspring that you very nicely carried around in your womb for 9 months each, you would think that SOMEONE, anyone, would want to feel for you  and take care of you.  Well, if you think that then you my friend would be like me and be sadly mistaken.  Miss their elaborate 3 course meal presented with flourishes by our lovely wait staff?  Not a chance.

To make this sad and very long tale much shorter I will just say that Monday brought more of the same dizziness, vertigo, nausea, etc to my door.  By Tuesday morning I was figuring out ways to get off the damn rocking boat and fly my ass back home to terra firma.  But first I was going up to the Spa Deck to rub a ton of conditioner into my hair and then sit in the steam room.  And when I got to the Spa I read the Menu of things available to me and my eyes lit on the Accupuncturist and choices of treatments.  And down in the middle of the list was . . . . . . . .



Sea Sickness!!!!



O M G!  The stars had finally aligned for me.  Relief might be in sight.  So I asked at the desk and made my appointment and then rushed through my steam and shower to wait for the accupuncturist.  And then he came.  My saviour.  His name was Garith and he is a Kiwi.  And what a nice and soliticious soul that Garith was.  We talked for a good long time and then I layed down and got needled and relaxed for a good long time.  And I started feeling better.  And better.

And that for me was when the cruise really began.  Before Garith?  That was not just my first cruise, but my last.  After Garith?  That was my first cruise of who knows how many!

I had a ball.  I joined in every trivia and name that tune challenge I could find.  We played games, we laughed, we danced in the disco to all of Michael Jackson's hits,  we ate fabulous food, we slept like babies being rocked to sleep.  I have never slept so long!  I swear I slept a minimum of 10 hours each night.  Well rested, I was.

We had a room steward assigned to us.  Ours was named Leslie.  Leslie is a nice young man from India who has never met an orthodontist.  Nevertheless, Leslie has a very large and warm smile.  And one of his duties each day was to take a bunch of towels and create cute little towel animals and leave them on our bed with our "after dinner and going to bed" mints.  Let me now share with you a few of Leslie's creations.

Now isn't that guy cute?  I thought it was a bunny.  But everyone I showed it to said it was a dog or a pig.  Adorable!

Then we got this really cute komodo dragon looking guy.  I loved him!!

Look at that elephant!  Isn't he precious?  And let me show you a picture of my sister's elephant.  You will see that Leslie is a far superior towel animal folder than hers.

See what I mean?  Her elephant doesn't even have eyes!

And look who we found hanging around in our room!  A cute little monkey.  How cute is that! And if you look in the mirror behind him you will see the reflection of my side of the bed with millions of pillows.

And this little sting ray followed us back on board from Grand Cayman.  Heh, that Leslie is hilarious!

And the very last night there was a bat hanging in the rafters.  You can't make it out very well in the photo, but he had fangs.

Now, after all that excitement do you think we gave Leslie a nice big extra fat tip?  Of course we did!  We loved Leslie.  Every single time we left the room and that must have been hundreds of times a day, he ran in there and cleaned up after us and made everything all pretty and clean again.

Tomorrow we will continue the exciting saga of Lisa Pie's First Cruise.  I know y'all are now all going to go origami your own towels, aren't you?

Random Musings and such

Yea!!!!  This is one of the chairs to my beautiful breakfast room dining set.  I just had the chairs refinished, refurbished and re-upholstered.  I immediately got "buyers remorse" after I bought that fabric and wasn't sure how I would like it.  But I believe they turned out nicely.

Let me just tell you how I came to be the proud owner of such beautiful furnishings.  Way back in 1981, around August or Sept., I was toodling along in my car which was the cutest thing you have ever seen in your life.  Let me just show you a quick photo of Molly.  I think you will agree, the cutest thing ever.

This is a cousin of my car Molly.  Molly Metropolitan. Molly was a 1959 Nash Metropolitan.  Hilariously cute car!  I would drive down the road and people would point and smile and laugh.  Every day.  It was that cute.  Molly was described as a soap dish, a tennis shoe, one of those weird amphibeous cars that turn into a boat, all sorts of things.  And I can promise you this, I have never before nor since gotten such great gas mileage.  Loved that car.

Back to the quick little story of the antique furniture.  So there I was just toodling down the back streets going to the grocery store, when out of the corner of my eye I spied the prettiest little sideboard just sitting in some people's carport.  I went to the store and on my way home I thought I would go back by there and see if perhaps it was for sale.  As I was walking up to their door I saw that there was also a china cabinet, a table and six chairs.  All matching.  Anyhoo, I rang the bell and asked about the furniture and the lady told me this really long story of how much she loved that dining room set but that her husband's aunt out in Tennessee called them and said that she wanted to leave him, her only living relative, all the family antique furniture, and could he pay for the freight to ship it to Texas?  So the new-to-them family antiques had arrived and now the set that that she had had previously (my set) was relegated to the carport till they could get it sold, even if this set was way prettier than the new-to-them set they had just gotten from the aunt.  So I wrote down my name and number for her and asked her to talk to her husband and come up with a price.  I really wanted it and I really wanted it moved indoors before it sat out in the weather and ruined.  Then I went home and called my boss who loved her some antiques.  She was one of those people with a real eye for quality and knew how to safely strip, refinish and show off these prizes.  I told her all about this set and asked her to guesstimate the value so I would have a better idea when they called me with a price.

The owners of said furniture called me about an hour later with a price of about 20% of what my boss told me I should pay.  20%.  NOT 20% off.  More like 80% off.  Only paying 20%.  So I said SOLD! And then he said, "Can I deliver this to you so it doesn't sit out in the carport overnight?"

SCORE!!!

When I got this set the chair seats had kind of an ugly white/ecru color with a strange pattern fabric.  A couple years later I re-upholstered them and took off the ugly white to discover that it was actually re-purposed drapes with that rubber backing on them to keep out the heat and light.  Under that was a gross watermelon red color and under that was the original beautiful wine, claret colored velvet.

Over the years, this dining room set has been with us through 4 countries and 9 moves.  The seats have had a variety of fabric coverings.  This is the first time I have gone with a plaid.    It takes me a while to adjust to change, so I am still not too sure about this one.

And here is a neon sign I had to take a pic of to share with you.  I was at a very famous local hamburger joint the other day and looked up at this sign and wondered to myself, WTF???  Have a look.

Seriously?  Nacho's??  Nacho's what?  Nacho's bad grammar?  Nacho's bad signage?  Aaarrrrgggghh!! Why, oh why, is there an apostrophe there?  Idiots.  They are everywhere.

And here is one of Mr. Big Ed's birthday gifts I thought you might like to see.  I found this at one of my favorite new stores. P'lovers is a wonderful ecological store that sells some of the coolest stuff.  Lots of recycled and organic stuff. (and another place with a weird apostrophe)

Look here at what I got Mr. Big Ed.

In the first picture you can tell that this is a record album.  In the second you can tell more clearly that it has been re-shaped and re-purposed as a bowl.  And in the third you can see that it was a Bob Dylan greatest hits album.  Now, if you know anything at all about Mr. Big Ed, you know that he loves some Bob Dylan.  And now, he has his very own Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits Volume II bowl with which to store his crap.

Personally, I don't care for Mr. Dylan's singing.  But I know, it is un-American to say that out loud.  When we lived in Minneapolis, home town of Bob Dylan, he was touring with his unplugged acoustic version of all his songs and Mr. Big Ed was beside himself with giddyness to go to this show.  He and the kids went and enjoyed themselves immensely.  I on the other hand, stayed home and did not subject my ears to 2 hours of Bob Dylan Live.  Which is practically what I get when I have to ride in Mr. Big Ed's car.  He has a six disc changer in his car and at all times, 5 of the 6 discs are Dylan.  Seriously?  Aaarrrggghhh!  again.

And here are 2 more photos of my furry babies.  Just for fun.

This is my camera-shy Princess Nikita Babushka.  I don't know why she was avoiding the camera today, but every time she saw it she turned her head.  She is a beautiful girl with gorgeous baby blue eyes.  I love my Husky!

Stretched out on top of this buffet is Stanley Manley.  He is one handsome cat.  Stanley is the twin brother to Lester Buster.  It's not clear in this particular photo but Stanley has one green eye and one blue eye.  And cute black specks on his little pink nose.  If looks were what we based awesome pets on, Stanley would be a winner.  He has it going on in the looks department.  What he has problems with is 2 things.  He's a shedder.  And he's a pisser.  He sheds and pisses all over things.  It is aggravating in the extreme.  Other than that . . . .

I am such a player

Who loves games more than I do?  Since there is no real way to quantify this, I will just go ahead and pick up the crown and wear it!  Queen of Gaming!

I love games.  Not mind games, not relationship games, no, not any of those things.  Board games, card games, all sorts of domino type games, dice games and the Big Top of the Heap game . . . . .

MAH JONGG!!

I love Mah Jongg.  This is a great game.  People who know how to play will always want to get a game going.  I have never met a single person who learned to play Mah Jongg and then said "Nah, never mind, not so much".  Of course, I wouldn't hang out with people like that and maybe that's why I have never met them.  But anyhoo, I will repeat myself.  This is a great game.

With this in mind, you might be surprised, even bumfuzzled to learn that my family will begrudgingly play with me about once every blue moon.  What!?  you say?  How can that be?  (all aghast and taken aback)  And that is exactly what I say!  What?  What do you MEAN you don't want to play Mah Jongg with me?

What gives with relatives doing this?  What gives with Evil Husbands and Ungrateful Children not wanting to play my favorite game with me?  That is what I want to know.  I think I should make a rule. A proclamation, if you will.  "If you expect to enjoy my home, my largesse; you might want to brush up on your Mah Jongg skills".  Ha!

Ok, now back to other board games.  Rachel Pie got us a new board game for Christmas called Wise and  Otherwise.  It is similar , no it is exactly the same as Balderdash but with really cool sayings from all over the world.  We played this many times over the holidays and had such fun with it.

We also played Jonathon's new Grateful Dead-opoly.  That was a fun game too.  I love all the Monopoly games and different versions of it.  I own about 6 or 7 different Monopoly games.  One from my childhood, one anniversary edition, one Texas version, another newer anniversary edition, I would have to go look at them to tell you the rest.  I love to play Skip-bo, Uno, Trivial Pursuit, Spades, Gin Rummy, heck, I will even play Solitaire for hours.  Oh, and games from my childhood; not only do I have my old Monopoly, but also my Life and my Twister.  The game of Life has changed over the years.  I don't care for the newer, up-dated, PC version.  My old one where you either choose well or end up in the poorhouse is much better!

Long ago in a smaller city, not so far away, Mr. Big Ed and I had some really good friends who had kids of similar ages to our own small fries.  Every Friday night we would get together and cook, eat, drink beer, play with the kids, then get them jammied-up and parked in front of a movie to fall asleep and then we would play games.  99.9% of the time it was Trivial Pursuit.  Oh, what fun that was!  With Mr. Big Ed trying to sneak off to find a dictionary or encyclopedia to look up answers while pretending to be going to the bathroom!  And our good friend, let's call her "Hot Check Lil" saying "I'll be right back" and then sneaking off and going to bed.  That left me and Mr. Hot Check Lil to battle it out for the weekly crown and the bragging rights.  Then we would scoop up our sleeping babes and take them home and get ready for next week.

I love Bunco and Farkle. And that comes from playing Yahtzee as a kid, I guess.  There are these new "gaming" stores that have all sorts of D&D games and such.  Anyhoo, these stores sell the coolest dice you can imagine.  Not just six-sided white with black dots.  Oh no, these aren't your Great Aunt Tilly's dice!  You should check them out.  (If I would sit and spend a couple hours on my new and fancier-than-fancy computer and learn how, I would post some photos of all these cool dice.  But since I haven't you will have to look for them your own selves.)

Staying at home (or going to a friend's) and playing games is such a great way to spend a day, or an evening.  It's interactive (as opposed to watching a movie), it's inexpensive, it exercises your brain, it works on your team-building skills, strategizing and even evil manipulations.

Do you play games?  Any favorites?  Any that you recommend?

The Tale of the Bad Dog and the even Badder Doggie Daddy

This tale takes place on Friday. Friday started out to be a really nice day. My nephew the Little Pumpkin came over to spend the day with his favorite aunt because he goes to a high-falutin' private school that has lots of holidays. Way more holidays than his parents get from their jobs. So he occasionally gets to spend the day with me doing fun things while his parents are at work wishing they were not there.

Mr. Big Ed and I were to have dinner with our around-the-corner neighbors who we like very much, so this was going to stretch from being a really nice day into a nice evening as well. I did what I always do and ask "What can I bring?" and was asked to bring a dessert. So I searched than pantry and found that lo and behold I had all the ingredients to make my all-time favorite cake, Nana's Pineapple Upside Down Cake. This is definitely not that nasty plain white cake with a pineapple ring and cherry in the middle on top of it. I don't care for that cake. Maybe it is because I was raised eating Nana's Pineapple Upside Down Cake? Whatever.

This is the best cake in the world. And every year when my mom would ask, what cake do you want for your birthday cake, this is the cake I chose. And this is what I chose to make for our friends. It turned out perfect. Baked just the right amount of time and cooled just the right amount to turn out of the pan onto the cut glass cake pedestal that I have.

You know where I am going with this, don't you? Mr. Big Ed who is known far and wide for not being able to completely shut a door, a cabinet, a drawer, anything! Well, Mr. Big Ed managed to leave the sliding glass door partially open and Ernest T. Bass comes trotting in and smells freshly baked cake and decides it must be for him. Even though it is clearly on the counter. And clearly away from the edge. And even more clearly on the pedestal cake plate for presentation to the neighbors.

I walked in to find he has eaten halfway around the edge of the cake. I screamed at him and then I screamed at his father. Then after I calmed down I had to call our friends and tell them that "the dog had eaten our dessert". They laughed and said Come on over and don't worry about it. But I worried about it. And I called Ernest T. names and I called his father even MORE names. Very descriptive names.

Wouldn't you have done the same after seeing this?

Whining. Again.

Okay, I hate whiners worse than most anybody. Whiners are annoying as all get out and whining makes me want to smack the dogwater right out of you. You will NEVER get what you want from me if you whine your request at me. NEVER. Could I be any more clear on this topic?

And yet, I am feeling pretty whiney around here. Let me 'splain. Sunday night when I was getting ready for bed I noticed that I was just not feeling great. There was the sinus thing, the sneezing thing and a bit of a scratchy throat thing. Uh Oh.

I woke up Monday feeling bad. Feeling like my sinuses were trying to kill me, to do me in, to rub me out, to lay waste to me. So I started with the emergen-c, lots of hot tea, Claritin, advil, Similisan homeopathic sinus spray and then I brought out the Big Guns.

Vick's VapoRub. That is my Go-To-Guy. I don't care what is wrong with you, Vick's will make you feel better. It is warm, soothing, moisturizing, long-lasting, and just the best. Mr. Big Ed claims he doesn't have to use it, he just can be near me and get all the Vick's action he wants.

Did you know that Vick's VapoRub has it's own website? Neither did I. Well, it does. And there is a ton of good info on that site. Did you know that Vick's makes its own little personal steamer/vaporizer apparatus? Looks much better than the bowl of hot water with some Vick's in it and a towel over my head that I currently use. I might have to see if Walgreen's carries this awesome little appliance and for how much.

But, back to the whining part of this. When I don't feel good I become Whiney McWhinerstone, Queen Whiney McWhiney Pants, Count Whine-ula of Whine-sylvania. And what does Mr. Big Ed become? He becomes Mr. Come Home Late and Keep His Distance, that's what he becomes. So instead of saying "Oh poor baby, I am so sorry you feel bad, what can I bring you?" He says lame-ass shit like "Stay away, you probably have the Swine Flu. A guy at my office has the Swine Flu." To which I said "Stay away from the damn office then!" Ha!

Have I mentioned that Mr. Big Ed is EXTREMELY suggestable? Have I ever mentioned that Mr. Big Ed is a bit of a hypochondriac? All you have to do is mention something casually in conversation and the next thing you know he has it. And he has it worse than every. other. person. on the planet. Who has EVER had it. Oh, how that man does suffer! And, oh how that man does love to whine when he's suffering! Guess how much sympathy Mr. Big Whiney Ass Hypochondriac Ed gets from me? Especially after his triflin' ass has ignored me during my travails. Sara, notice the new use of triflin'? Have you noticed how triflin' just seems to always have an "ass" right after? Triflin' ass just rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?

I have been on the CDC website scoping out Swine Flu symptoms (just to make sure that Mr. Big Ed is not right) and I don't think I have it. I don't have fever, chills, vomiting and several other symptoms listed. What I do have is sinus pressure, sneezing, nose-blowing, that gross coughing you just can't clear your throat thing, dry itchy eyes and, no, nothing else. I think that's it. It's enough.

So I am whining and making my tea and wearing my Vick's and wishing someone would just want to come over and hold me and say Oh Poor Baby for a while. And I thought I would share all this with you.

You're welcome.

Thanks for listening and I will try not to whine too much more.