And then the Angels came down and sang, "Hallelujah, Hoss!!"

Yes indeedy, there was singing!  You know why, don't you?  Those men showed up and installed my brand new and oh-so-gorgeous new cooktop (that being the new proper name) and vent-a-hood which is nowadays called a range hood.  Does this not put you in the mood to sing "Home, Home on the Range (hood)"?  Or picture the Lone Ranger (in a hood)?

"Hoss, you bring your ole Pappy that thar range hood now, ya hear?"  "Dag-nabbit Pa, I ain't done whittlin' the range hood, you jest hold yer horses!"

And as happy as I was about all this, I was also the same amount of frustrated that my beautiful 24-inch iMac has turned on me.  Here I am full of glowing reports and nothing but kind and loving things to say about this machine and what does it do to me?  It won't let me post any of the 16 photos I have for you of the Before, During and After of the Appliance Installation. (This is actually my second attempt because I had to close everything up and walk away)  So, here I go trying once again.  Cross your fingers, toes, eyes, arms, legs, whatever it is you want to cross for luck.  and here goes!

Yea!!!  First is the old Jenn-Air with the non-functioning useless downdraft, and then the circa 1977 vent-a-hood.  I wish I had thought to put the hood picture above the Jenn-Air picture since that is the way they are in real life.  Oh well, live and learn.  You see how big and bulky that vent-a-hood is?  Guess how many times I have smacked my head on the sharp pointy corners?

Oh look!!  Not one, but TWO, count them, TWO installer/delivery dudes!!  Oh my stars and garters, was I ever happy to see them.  This is them unhooking the behemoth that was the vent-a-hood.

Look!  It's all gone!  Bye bye, so long, farewell, adios!  And if you look above the cabinets you can see my beautiful green tea ice cream colored walls.  I adore that color!

This is the top side of the brand spanking new range hood.  See how sleek and modern?  Normally, sleek and modern aren't my taste, but apparently it is when we are talking about vent-a-hoods, I mean range hoods!

Look!  large cavernous hole where the old Jenn-Air used to reside.  And a ton of crap on either side of that hole due to everything being moved about.  Do you think I have enough wooden spoons?  They are one of the things I collect.  Every time we go to a new place I look for a hand made wooden spoon.

Ta-Da!  The beginnings of a new cooking experience for me!  And a whole lot of crap covered in sawdust due to the hole having to be cut.

Isn't it a sight to behold?  Do you see how much headspace there is now?  Can you see the line of sticky stuff where the old vent-a-hood used to be?  I have some Goo-Gone that should take care of that.  I can hardly WAIT to get in there and get all FIVE burners going at once!  There will be some cooking going on this weekend.  Woo Hoo!!!

I didn't have to kill anyone, my head didn't explode and I am deliriously happy with my new shiny pretty toys.  Yea!!!

Waiting . . .

Still waiting on my scheduled Monday delivery.  I alternate between the old ballad "I've been waiting! for a girl like you" by Foreigner (right?) and the newer "Waiting, waiting on the world to change" and when I don't have these lovely ditties stuck in my head, I am going with the Jeopardy music.

I did receive a call from one of the many and plethora of supposed delivery guys that I have spoken with over the last week who tells me that he might be showing up today.  He might have one or he might have both items and did I want him to bother coming by with just one?  I told him that if I didn't have both items installed today he would be able to see my head explode from across town.

My new facebook post says that Customer Service Departments should all be changed to The Department of Broken Promises.  Dastardly dogs, all of them.

More later, in case they actually DO show up.  If not, please look out your window to have a better view of my head exploding.

I am trying to be calm.

I was waiting all day to post the before and after photos of my brand spanking new cooktop and vent-a-hood.  I took all kinds of photos of the Before starring the old Jenn-Air and the really really old vent-a-hood.  And waiting and waiting for the delivery/installer dudes to deliver and install the gorgeous Consumer Reports-rated new stuff.  I am trying to be calm.

So last week I trotted myself on down to Sears because the Consumer Reports top 2 rated cooktops are sold there and scoped everything out.  Sears was having a 25% off sale on these types of large appliances.  I did select what I wanted and paid for them. (So much for increasing my savings acct. by $20,000 this year.)  I am trying to be calm.

Then Mr. Big Ed kept haranguing me and asking a million questions about what they looked like, how are the burners configured and how far out does the new sleeker vent-a-hood stick out and that sort of thing.  Who knew he cared?  Who knew he was the least bit interested?  Not me.

I had the bright idea of getting out my receipts and looking up the Model No. of each and showing them to him on the Sears website.  Plugged in the number for the cooktop and it was there, all shiny and pretty.  Plugged in the number of the vent-a-hood and guess what?  It was the WRONG ONE!!!  That little pencil neck sales dude was off by one digit and they were going to try and install a 30" vent-a-hood in a 36" hole.  Wouldn't that be attractive?  I am trying to be calm.

So I called Sears at the number my pencil neck sales dude wrote on the receipt and guess what happened?  Did you guess that I got an automated answering machine that asks 5 gazillion questions?  That is what happened!   I did finally get through to the store, and was told they were all too flipping busy to talk to me and fix my problem.  I did give them all my info and someone was to call me back directly.  I am trying to be calm.

You know that never happened, don't you?  I called Sears 2 more times trying to get through and then I got pissed.  Seriously.  Pissed.  Off.  Why don't the customer service people of the world understand that when they piss off a 50 year old menopausal woman who has raised TEENAGERS, they are going to get a huge ration of shit and then they will get the short end of the stick.  I have given up trying to be patient with idiots and I refuse to EVER suffer any fools again.  If you don't like people, and you don't want to apologize profusely, get the hell out of customer service.  I am trying to be calm.

You know what I did?  I put on my "I mean business" pants and took all my paperwork and went over there and demanded to speak with a manager.  Then I got some new pencil neck sales dude to call the warehouse and cancel the 1st (wrong) vent-a-hood and order the 2nd (correct) one.

Since then I have had about 10 phone calls from 2 different delivery/installer companies both claiming to be the ones who are going to bring and install my 2 new appliances.  And just now?  I got a call from one of them saying that since my 1st vent-a-hood was cancelled they can't bring me the cooktop because it is now "AN INCOMPLETE ORDER".  WTF???  So, complete that order and bring me the right vent-a-hood!  That was my reply.  I am STILL trying to be calm.

Then I was told that no, the warehouse was closing and this would all have to be resolved tomorrow. I have now learned which answers to give to the automated prompts on the Sears phone system and got through to pencil neck sales dude #3 who assures me that both items will be delivered and installed tomorrow.  I am trying to be calm.

Any bets on whether that will really happen?  Any bets on whether or not I will ever really be calm? Stay tuned for the updates and hopefully photos of the new applicances.  I will be sitting on Mr. Big Ed's meditation cushion trying to get as Zen as possible.