Starbuck's Simpsons encounter

So I go into my local Starbuck's as you do and ordered by Veinte sized Iced Passion Tea non-sweet.  The perfect drink to keep you hydrated on these hot horrible droughty days.

The barista grabs my cup, asks my name and starts to write.  When I answered Lisa, she started singing this song.

I loved this episode of the Simpsons so much!  The barista and I both laughed and she went on singing and I left her a bigger tip.  : )

You know those songs that get stuck in your head?

This is one of those videos that gets stuck in your head.

Check it out:

Just spreading a little happiness

Enjoy!!!

I'm back and flitting from topic to topic. Do try to keep up!

Hey, it has been a while.  I was on a pretty impromptu roadtrip with my sister so that was fun.  We sang along with Adele and the Backstreet Boys, because that is how we roll.  Ha!

So, today is 100 years since the Titanic sank and in honor of that the History Channel is showing a fabulous memorial tonight with lots of never before seen due to new technology just now finding it kind of stuff.  For those of us that are obsessed with Titanic and all the horrific sadness, this is a goldmine.  Be sure to set your dvr or tivo to record this bit of history.

Also, in t.v. update news!  Are y'all watching anything right now?  Let me tell you what all is on my dvr.

The Borgias - Showtime channel, fabulous series about the infamous family that ran the Vatican and Rome.  And you have to know anytime you can have Jeremy Irons playing someone evil it is gonna be good.

The Big C - Also on Showtime.  I think this is the 3rd season of this wonderful, thoughtful series starring Laura Linney and Oliver Platt.

Nurse Jackie - Showtime, yet again.  Showtime has some great series.  If you don't get this channel, why the hell not?

Game of Thrones - HBO - o.m.g.!!!  Watch it.

Eastbound and Down - HBO, Kenny Powers with a mullet!

Top Shot - History Channel, Colby Donaldson, cool guns, nice looking men, really cool blowing up of stuff, and Colby Donaldson, enough said.

Modern Family - ABC, Best. Flipping. Show. Ever.

Survivor - CBS.  What is more fun than watching idiots trust the wrong people and disaster ensues?

Amazing Race - CBS.  See above comment about Survivor.

Real Time with Bill Maher - HBO, I can not go more than a week without seeing his New Rules at the end of the show.  Awesome.

Jeopardy! - CBS.  Love Jeopardy!  and I also love yelling "Can it, Trebek!  or Suck it, Trebek! or It's HUN-DRED you morons, NOT HUNNERD!"  They may be able to pass the Jeopardy online quiz but they still can't pronounce hundred.  Idiots.

I can't think of what else my dvr records for me.  Sparky also has his shows recording, like Aqua Teen Hungerforce, Family Guy, Metalocolypse.  When they are on we don't miss It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League.  Those are both on FX.

Oh!  Also we watch (although this will be the final season coming up) Breaking Bad on AMC.

Quick!  Changing subjects.

Someone, I don't know who, recommended the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy to me.  Whoever it was, obviously doesn't know me.  I barely made it through book one.

It is such trite crap I could NOT believe it got greenlighted, or green lit or was given the thumbs up. Holy Moly, is it bad!

Please don't be taken in by the hype or the fact that book one has already been optioned for a movie. I can not even imagine how they will make this be not a boring, repetitive piece of porno trash.

There are not enough descriptive words to tell you how much I hated all the characters.  The female lead was so fucking annoying and stupid I couldn't even believe it.  The male lead?  Warped, controlling, and so strange it defied all logic that she would be soooo attracted to him that all her common sense would go right out the window.

What I'm saying is unless you are looking for s&m bondage porn laced with the worst and most repetitive dialogue, you don't want to bother with this piece of crap.

Did you try the brown rice crusted quiche recipe yet?  Please do.  I am sure you will like it.

What else has been going on around here that I wanted to talk about?

Oh!  I know what I have been trying to remember to tell you about!

Have you seen this ad?

I was watching this and thought to myself, "Self, if they took a whole shirt and made a dickie out of the top part, this is what is left over."

IT'S A DICKIE FOR YOUR ASS!

Where do they come up with this stuff?  And why, oh why, are we gullible enough to buy it?

Trendy Top, indeed.

Have a great day and I will be here to discuss some more ancestry.com findings in the next few days!

Almost Valentine's Day . . .

and really?  Do I care?

Not so much.  I don't have a pretty crepe-paper covered shoebox all decorated up with heart doilies and glitter for all my friends to put their Valentines into.  I guess if my kids were little I would have more fun with Valentine's Day.  When the kids were little I used to decorate the house.  Actually, because Rachel Pie's birthday is 3 weeks prior, I used to put up pink and white streamers and balloons and stuff for her birthday and then afterwards I would add in the red and the Valentine's decorations.  It was fun for me to have lots of seasonal decorations up.  

But now?  Not so much.  Not that I am bitter or sad or anything, it's just another day and I hope that I do a good job letting people know I love them all the other days of the year and don't need to save it up for just one day.

Did any of you watch the Grammys last night?  Holy Smoke, there's nothing like the Grammys to make you feel like an old fart!  Who were all those people?  I hate it when I realize how uncool I am and how much I don't know about the new kids on the block!

Here are my thoughts on the Grammy Evening:

1. LL Cool J - looked smoking hot in his tux.  He was a fabulous host.

2. Starting out the evening with Bruce Springsteen, awesome move!  He was great.

3. There was a commercial for Mastercard, one of those "Priceless" ones, showing an older couple in Buenos Aires shopping and taking tango lessons and then actually getting out on the dance floor at the end with the professionals.  It was a perfect ad!  Loved it.  Do you think I can find it on youtube to share it with you?  Nope.  When I do find it, I will post it.

4. Adele!!!   She was wonderful.  Loved her.

5. Katy Perry looked better with pink hair than the blue.

6. Did you see the ad with Willie Nelson singing the Coldplay song?  It was so good.  Here, watch this:

I don't know what any of this has to do with Chipotle, but it's a great little film/commercial nevertheless.

7. Nicki Minaj - W T F ???  I don't really know what to say about her attire or performance.  And she sooo out-Gagaed poor Lady Gaga sitting there with a bird cage on her face.  But if that's the best Nicki Minaj can do, well, I have no hopes of seeing her at any future award shows.

8.  And believe it or don't, another ad!!!

9. And the BEST thing on the Grammys . . .

THE CIVIL WARS!!!

O. m. g.  I fell in love listening to them.  Beautiful voices, perfect harmony, it was soul-stirring.

Here's a link to the official video of the song they performed:

Have a happy Valentine's day or a happy Tuesday, whichever works best for you tomorrow!!

No words

Enjoy!

You're welcome

Rant Coming! Watch out

It has definitely been a while since I have ranted.  But there are a few things that have been irritating me. So why wouldn't I want to share them with you???


First up!  This has got to be the most obnoxious, insufferable frigging ad going.

Take a watch and tell me if this would induce you to want what they are selling:

Really???  "That's so 12 seconds ago"  Really?  Is this where we are as a people?  12 seconds ahead of our friends who we now think are so lame and un-cool.  Bet those friends never call you again on your SmartAss Phone.

What a bunch of dickheads.

Next up, ANOTHER douche-y ad trying to make you feel lame if you don't have the biggest, bestest and latest.

That commercial right there will keep me from EVER buying a fucking iPhone.  What is this?  Shame people into feeling so bad about their lives they just can't live without your product?

My phone has a droid market just like that app store, and I can scroll through it just as quickly and get the exact same apps FOR FREE and have them on my phone just as quickly.  Where is the advantage?

Sorry, but if your marketing tool is to make people feel less-than, you have lost me (and hopefully all others with any sense of self esteem) right there.  There is a line you cross when talking about how awesome your newest Thneed is and how remarkably stupid your Thneed-less target audience is, and AT&T and Apple have done this for me.

And this is how I feel about that.

And finally!!!  Here's what they really mean.   I couldn't say it any better than these guys:

I'm Lisa Pie and I don't approve of all of these messages

You know that I live in the great state of Texas, right?  And you must know that our state foisted that sorry ass Shrub on you as president, and for that I am very sorry.  I didn't live here at the time, and never once did I vote for him.

And now?  Holy shitballs!  This maroon of a governor we have is running around making the Shrub look like the smart one.  Is there no one around him who can keep him at home with his mouth shut?

Look at his latest bullshit move:

Now watch some anti-Perry, anti-Christian rebuttal to this:

And last, but certainly not least, here is a message to Rick "the hair-do" Perry from Jesus:

Rick Perry is a wiener.  He has a terrible record on women's and children's issues.  If you want an in-depth look at what he has done in his political career here in Texas, go to Amazon and buy "Adios MoFo".

I heard the NPR interview with one of the authors and it seems that the publisher threw lots of money their way to write this book when Perry started showing interest in running.  Then when he started slipping in the polls, they backed off, so it is only available as an e-book.

A year or so ago at a press conference, a particular reporter just kept pushing at Perry to answer some questions about what he has done to the schools and teachers in our fine state and he kept trying to duck them and not give a straight forward answer.  At the end of it, when he thought his mic was off, he looked right at the reporter and said "Adios MoFo".

Nice, right?

So, that's where the book title came from.  Give it a read and encourage anyone you know who might actually vote for this twit in a hair-do to also read it.

Exciting News from Broadway

You know how every one who has ever recorded more than 3 songs now has a musical production being made with a storyline of their music?

Jersey Boys.

Rain.

Billy Joel. (what was the name of that one?)

Mamma Mia

etc., etc., ad nauseum.

I just read in the news that there's another one coming down the pike.  Yay!  It's gonna be a good one.

Any guesses as to whom?

Well, his name starts with John and ends with Denver!!


JOHN DENVER!

Here is what the article had to say: "A Moment in Time" follows the story of a mortally wounded marine in Afghanistan who recalls a happier time with his family in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. The project was developed by five-time Tony Award winner Stewart F. Lane, who was recently honored with the 2011 John Denver Spirit Award."




John Denver.

Has there ever been a more universally-loved performer than John Denver?  Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, in the 1970s had someone sing "Annie's Song" at their weddings.  That is one of my all time favorite songs.  I could listen to it on repeat for hours and hours.  (And I have. And I still do!)  The emotion always overwhelms me and I end in joyous tears.


The only redeeming thing about that shitty Pauly Shore movie "Son-in-law" was John Denver's "Thank God I'm a Country Boy".


And as far as I am concerned there is nothing that says "Hey, it's Christmas time!" like John Denver and the Muppets singing the Twelve Days of Christmas.

John Denver took us to the tops of the Rocky Mountains.  He took us all under the sea with Jacques Cousteau.  And it was his dream to go into space.  If he could imagine it, he could sing about it and take us there.

I will leave you with an absolutely gorgeous live version of "Annie's Song" to make your heart swell and send you on your day with joy.

Hilarity

This is one of my new favorite commercials.

It's from the Super Bowl so it is not a new commercial, just one of my new favorites.  Does that make sense?

Have you been watching Modern Family?  I swear that has to be the funniest most side-splitting show ever made.  There is so much funny stuff happening you can watch them over again and find things you missed the first time when you were busy slapping your knees!

And I know you all must have seen this one already, since I posted it to my fb page last week.  But this is just hysterically funny!

Laughter, it's what makes the world go round.  Have a good laugh today and whatever your worries are will not seem quite so overwhelming.  : )

Randomness again, but you won't want to miss this gossip!

Yes, it is random stuff just free-flowing from my brain today.  Yea!  No having to coordinate my thoughts in to a coherent pattern!

First off, yes indeed, I am still reading the obits.  There were a few really great names in yesterday's edition.

1. Aleta Beal, better known as Wynona.  *Really?  Why is that better?

2. You know how it irritates the beejeebers out of me that people feel the need to put everyone's nicknames in "quotes" in the middle of their name. John "Jackie" Smith, for example.  There was a lot of nickname-listing yesterday!

Wilroy = Sonny
W.S. = Dusty
Enos = Brutzie
Edward = Bubby
Carl = Happy
John = Johnny
Debra = Debbie (seriously?  like we wouldn't figure these out?)
Elizabeth = Irene
H.F. = Hoagy
James = Davey
Luther = Luke
Glynna = Bebe
Denise = Necie

3. There were some fabulous old-school names that have fallen out of favor and been replaced with the Tiffanys and Britneys and such.  Here are some examples of great old names you don't see anymore (except in the obits).

Irene
Chester
Marjorie
Lena
Oscar
Matilda
Ida
Earl
Myron
Rudolpho
Mildred
Hermit
Nettie
Thelma
Casper
Hugo
Vester
Effie Coreene

Now, on to the gossip portion of this post.  There is a businessman here who does the cheesiest ads on t.v. you would ever hope to see.  Here is a link to a youtube of one of his ads.  Go watch.  It's only 20 seconds.  Cheesy, right?  He has those $39.95 optical places all over town.  His kids have a chain of tattoo and piercing parlors and he does the ads for both.  Usually at the same time.

Then Sunday we woke up to this little story in the news.  Go, check it out.  I'll wait right here.

Did you read it?  Did you watch the video portion of it?  Holy Moly!!

He doesn't live too far away so we drive by every once in a while to see what other changes he has made to his house.  Apparently he wants his house to look like he was in Scarface.  There is shiny silver eagles and globes and pillars out front and fake deer and custom painted Hummers and speed boats and such. It is one of those things that you drive by with your mouth wide open and just stare.  There are no words.

So in addition to a 1980's drug king-pin style home exterior he appears to have adopted a similar take on how to get out of his marriage.  Oh. My.  And that's all I am going to say about that.

My son has got us all hooked on another flipping HBO series.  It's called Eastbound and Down.  And oh my sweet Lord, this is just shocking and unbelievable!  Mullets, beer bellies, baseball has-beens, Will Ferrell, and the best music on each episode.  You know how Adam Sandler has stupid movies but they usually have good music going?  This is worse and with better music.  You watch one episode and you will be hooked.  Hilarious.  It's like Anchorman for baseball.

That's all the news that's fit to print from here.  Lemme hear from you!

5 minutes of pure joy

Check this out, just in case you aren't one of the 6,000,000+ who have already seen it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

Fun for the easily entertained

I don't know how I have missed posting something about this before, but here goes!
Miss Rachel Pie called me several months back and said "Mama! go to youtube and type in Literal Videos." Ok, so I did. And we laughed our asses clean off! They are hysterical. Have you seen these?

The one that seems to be the most well-done is Total Eclipse of the Heart. But there are plenty of them and probably more in the works.

So, go to youtube. In the search box, type in Literal videos and have a ball!