We're not number 1!

You know how there is always someone compiling lists and statistics about any and every thing you can imagine?  Supposedly, my city is the top rated for binge drinking and also for teen pregnancy.  You see a connection there?  Maybe a little cause and effect?

This morning I was reading news articles online and came across one that lists the top 10 and bottom 10 for the drunkest states in the union.  There is a whole lot of numbers that went into this listing, but I am just going to bottom line the 10 Least Drunk states and then the 10 Most Drunk States.

Least Drunk States

10. Ohio with an average of 32.6 gallons per person

9. Alabama with 30.6 total gallons per person

8. West Virginia with 29.3 g.p.p. (shorter to type 20 times)

7. North Carolina also with 29.3 g.p.p.

6. Oklahoma with 28.9 g.p.p.

5. Kansas with 28.7 g.p.p.

4. Tennessee with 28 g.p.p.

3. Arkansas with 26.6 g.p.p. (personally I think having the Dugger clan in ARK skews their numbers)

2. Kentucky with 26.2 g.p.p.

and drumroll, please  . . . . . .

1. Utah!!!  with 18.9 g.p.p.

That's quite the drop in consumption between number 2 Kentucky and number 1 Utah, wouldn't you say?

Also, I think it bears noting that lots of these non-boozing states are in the south.  The south.  Where all the good whiskey is made.  They make it but they aren't slamming it back.  Interesting.

And this brings us to our Top 10 Drunken Booziest States!

10. Colorado with 34.7 g.p.p.  (notice this is almost twice what Utah drinks)

9. Alaska with 35.4 g.p.p. (I would have thought it would be higher)

8. Wyoming with 37.6 g.p.p.

7. Delaware with 38.5 g.p.p.  (Delaware???  who woulda thunk it?)

6. North Dakota with 39.3 g.p.p.

5. Wisconsin with 39.5 g.p.p. (Hey, it takes a lot of booze to fuel writing The Onion so consistently funny)

4. Montana with 40.1 g.p.p. (another one I am not surprised at. Hell, this state has the Testicle Festival! You pretty much have to be drunk for that one!)

3. District of Columbia with 41.6 g.p.p.

2. Nevada with 46 g.p.p. (Holy Bikinis, Batman!  That's a lot of booze!)

and believe it or don't, the number one spot of Drunkest, Booziest State in the Union goes to . . . . . . .

NEW HAMPSHIRE with 48.7 gallons per person.


I will let that sink in for a minute.  New Hampshire beat us.  One of the teensiest little states beat our big giant drive-for-days-to-get-across Texas.  How did your state rank?  Did your state rank in the top or bottom 10?

But I bet those NH teens won't beat out our local girls for most teen pregnancies!  We'll always (sadly) have that claim to fame.