I realize I like to plan things maybe a little too much. I realize that others are not as planning-oriented as myself. I know that I should be tolerant of others and their desire to wander through life willy-nilly with not a thought to a major holiday meal coming around the pike in less than 3 weeks.
But I am running out of patience for those slacker types of people. If I go to the effort to call you and email you and invite you to my table and to stay in my home, would it KILL you to respond? Would the earth stop spinning on its axis if you, oh say maybe, you know, PLANNED more than 24 hours in advance?
It doesn't make any sense to me. Because the people who do this are the very. same. people. who always claim to be so fucking busy that they have to plan their lives a whole year in advance to get a day off of work or whatever. If you need to plan a year in advance to take a day off, I think you already know if you are going to be free for Thanksgiving or not. If you just don't want to tell me "No thanks, we are waiting for a better offer and just don't want tell you this" I can see how this strategy might be the one you would use. But come on, a little consideration. I asked you here because we love you and want to spend one day being thankful that you are in our lives and for you to be so rude as to not even reply kind of makes me feel my gratitude for your presence might be uncalled for?
Boy, I hate feeling this way. Especially since I am participating in the "Let's be thankful for one thing each day" facebook status thing for the 3rd year running. And this year I have chosen to only list people, not things. I am having a really hard time being thankful for twits with no manners.
I guess it really only matters for me to know how many to set the table for and whether or not I need to buy a gigantic turkey and double the side dishes or not. But it still irks me. I told Mr. Big Ed last night I really felt like calling them all back and rescinding the invites. He is much nicer and more diplomatic than I am and thinks we should just send a blanket email to all the slackers and say something along the lines of "hey, we haven't heard from you and realize you are probably busy with other plans and just haven't called. We will miss you around the table this year. Maybe next holiday?" I don't know whether that is really nicer or just kind of passive-aggressive.
Regardless, I still have to make the same plans, the same lists, menus, etc. whether I do it for 6 or 26. And I have been working on the menu and lists. Last year's menu was such a hit that I am planning to do almost the exact same one this year. I will leave out a few things that were only so-so, and bring in a few winners from the previous years.
Here's what I have so far:
Roast Turkey with Maple Herb Butter and Gravy. This is from the Bon Apetit 1994 Thanksgiving issue. Here is a link to last year where I posted the recipe.
New England Sausage, Apple and Cranberry Dressing (from the same issue of Bon Apetit)
Buttermilk Mashed Potatoes with Bacon
Mashed Yams in Orange Cups (this is also from Bon Apetit, different year)
Cranberry Relish with Grapefruit and Mint (Here is the link to where I posted that recipe last year)
Shaved Brussels Sprouts with Ham and Pecans
Edamame Succotash (pretty much edamame, corn, parsley and a bit of bacon)
Rolls
Desserts (haven't picked them out yet)
How are the plans going for your Thanksgiving dinner? Do you plan? Are you a planner? Do planners like me drive you as crazy as the slackers drive me? Any ideas on how I can avoid these issues for the next round of invites to the tamalada and Christmas?
brussel sprouts - yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. One of my favorite foods, and it is rare to find people who make them :)
ReplyDelete(I have nothing to add on the twits. I hope they are full of anxiety over ducking their response!)
I completely relate to your planning. You may remember that last year I began working on a spreadsheet and was going to do a binder on the Thanksgiving shopping/menu/prep list. I still have the file I started, but I think it probably needs to be deleted. We all know that I'm not going to put on a Thanksgiving production! I will happily leave that to my mom for the foreseeable future. She seems to enjoy it, and I enjoy the food!
These were really good sprouts too. If you want I can find the recipe and send it to your mama. : )
ReplyDeleteI remember that growing up there was sooooooo muuuuuuuuuuch stressssssssssssss in our house for months before this holiday season. Lists, planning, cussing and discussing. Everyone's panties in a wad because someone didn't do something someone else wanted done -- etc., etc., etc. Unbearable. I made a choice when I married that our holidays would be casual, relaxed and fun. No fancy clothes. No fancy dishes. The more, the merrier. There's always way too much food to worry about who doesn't RSVP. I wanna enjoy this whole experience and not get caught up in the minutia of it all. It's about the people and the feeling and the memories we make, and the goodwill that prevails for a short time in limited spurts!
ReplyDeleteKristin, I agree completely. I am trying to find a balance between my listy-planny-controlling side and my Hey-let's-just-have-a-great-time side. And it would be a lot easier if I knew if others were coming or not. I have tables to set and beds to make ready, you know. : )
ReplyDeleteLisaPie, I like Big Ed's suggestion. It tells people that you don't expect them and if they are coming, they'd better let you know.
ReplyDeleteThis is a late answer, but you could add something about your finding another place to celebrate or having a whole family over if they are too busy this year. Let them know that you are not a diner that will be ready when and if they are. I don't think you are overplanning. It is nothing short of rude to not let people who invite you know whether you are coming or not. Okay, so maybe his idea is passive-aggressive.
ReplyDelete