Obit Reading and Reviewing Part 934,234,658,123.54

I haven't reviewed the obits in a couple of weeks.  Maybe because I have been sick with the crud and it felt a little too close to home?  Like I was one foot in the grave?  Who knows?

But yesterday, there were a TON of dead people!  There were 3 1/4 pages.  Typically we get 2, or 2 1/2.  Anything greater than 2 1/2 is a lot.  3 1/4 is unprecedented.  Must have been all that partying hard for St. Paddy's that did them in.  Ha!

So here's the low-down on the obits:

There were two people who died that belonged to the same church.  There was one woman who quit being a nun after 30 years to become a professor.

Sometimes it's not just the facts they lay out but the "in lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation to such and such" that will tell you something about the dearly departed's life.  For example, there is a really sad one regarding a boy who died a day shy of his 22nd birthday.  As if that wasn't sad enough, the family wrote so many lovely things about him that it made you wish you had known him.  Then they go on to request donations be made to a local Recovery Center.

Now this could mean it's a favorite charity of theirs, but most likely it means they had been dealing with this boy's addiction issues for a time and that is what killed him.  So sad.

There was a beautiful picture of a woman with thick gorgeous hair.  She had really high cheekbones and was doing the little Mona Lisa smile.  Her obituary was wonderful.  Whoever wrote it tried to capture her spirit and not just state geneology facts.  The story of how she met her husband upon his return from the WWII European front was awesome. "He asked her to marry him almost immediately and wrote in a letter, 'When I first held you, I felt like I'd known you always!'"

She was an avid craftswoman, "a virtual Martha Stewart a la Mexicana".

The family with the best group of names has to be the Humphrey bunch.  First up is Hazel (the deceased a.k.a. Fern), then her husband Willard, Ed, Joe, Wanda, Brandy, Misty, Caedmon, Rhett and Zoe.  In the  listing of services it says "Funeral Service for 'Geen' is Tuesday, at 1 p.m."  Huh?  Geen?  I thought it said Hazel was known as Fern?

Runner-Up for best names, but also probably for Coolest Obit:

"Stanley Kahawaii, 58, of Waianae, went with God on March 6, in San Antonio. Leaving his loving wife, Madonna; children, Alexander (Crystal) and Sierra; sisters, Nanette Smith (Robert Leval) and Ella Ching (Rudy Paredes); Hana'i families, Iokia and Pakele; nieces, nephews, and "da boys".  Celebration of life will be at 6:30 p.m. Aloha attire."

Now, aren't you sufficiently curious about this bunch?  Sadly, there is no location listed.  I guess you would have to call the funeral home to find out the details.

Oh!  There was a new twist on saying "died" in this week.  Check it out:  "Bradley passed from the loving arms of his family to the everlasting arms of our Lord".

Also a contender for Coolest Obit:  "Orval Manuel Fletcher, Jr. Predeceased by his life partner "Jellybean".

This one is in a class all it's own.  It's a long one so I will just share some of the highlights with you.
"Masterpieces are often contemplated, admired, reflected upon, and cherished for eternity. These larger than life and immortal objects, masterfully designed by the hand of god, molded from clay, panted on canvas, carved and crafted in stone, and captured on film all conceived by careful consideration and masterful manipulation by the hand of man. On March 13, a living masterpieces was lost to this world. A timeless work of art to be admired, loved, and cherished forever. "
**Ok, I have to interject here, could they have used the word MASTER and any of its variations any more in that little paragraph?
They go on to say "A descendant of kings, queens, and of military grandeur, she lived her life in royal fashion with a curious interest in, and a love for life. 'Plus Oultre', chere Mama"

Okay.

There were a couple of people who passed away due to a brief or sudden and unexpected illness.  One of them was surrounded by family.  Really?  If you are surrounded by your family and sick and in bed, I don't think it is that terribly unexpected.  Hell, I have been sick for over 3 weeks and not once have I been surrounded by my loved ones.

Several people died from car accidents.  One of them was a young 27 year old police officer.  She had only been on the force a little over 3 years.  And get this, she was responding to a call and was hit by some drunk idiot who was on the expressway going the WRONG WAY with no headlights!  How do you even get on the wrong side of the expressway?  What a complete douche.  According to the witnesses, there was no braking, no turning of the wheel or anything by either car.  They flat did not see each other until it was too late.  And you know what I am going to tell you next. The "allegedly" impaired driver?

Lived!

Also, there was an 83 year old homeless veteran listed.  It states that he served honorably from 1947 to 1967.  It breaks my heart that we have homeless veterans.  There should be more of a safety net for these guys.

That's it for this week's obit reading.  I hope you enjoyed sharing in this with me.  Let me hear from you!