Grandma

Violet Mae Hoefert

July 21, 1918 - November 20, 2010

My grandma passed away on Saturday, November 20, 2010 at the age of 92 years, and almost 4 months.  The 92 years were spent full of life, being a driven, independent woman way ahead of her time in that regard and living life on her own terms.  The last 4 months were really trying and sad fighting to keep her body going.

This photo was taken on May 21, 1936 and was her high school graduation picture from Smithland, Iowa.  It is my favorite picture of her.  She had her whole life ahead of her and could do anything she wanted.  Two years later she would be married and a new mother to my father.  Not long after that, they moved with my grandfather's family away from Iowa to Harlingen, Texas.  

The marriage didn't last, and neither she nor my grandpa ever talked about it.  But she took my Papa and moved to Los Angeles and worked at a newspaper there.  Somehow they ended up in Arizona and that is where Grandma stayed the rest of her life.  She loved it there.  She lived in many different parts of the state but settled in Phoenix and lived there for the last 65 years of her life.  That is a long time to stay in one place and bear witness to all the growth and change that occurs there.

She remarried (as did my Grandpa) and gave birth to a daughter.  My Papa loved his baby sister so much.  She was always really important to him and he carried her in the softest spot of his heart.

Grandma leaves behind her daughter (my own Papa died in 1995), 4 grandchildren, we would have been 5 but my cousin was killed tragically when he was in high school.  And there are also 10 great-grandchildren.

During the 12 years that my family and I spent living as ex-patriates in Mexico and South America it meant so much to all of us that Grandma would come visit us in each place.  She loved to travel and learn all about a new place.  Grandma seemed to live her life fearlessly.  For Grandma it wasn't about collecting things, it was about collecting memories and enjoying the moment.  You know how people always say, "never met a stranger"?  Well, that phrase describes Grandma perfectly.  She was happy to while away the hours talking to whomever she met at the airport, on a bus, in a shop, just whoever.  She met some really interesting people and traded addresses and kept in contact with people.  Grandma was a letter writer.  She appreciated a hand-written letter so much more than an international long-distance phone call.  She saved these letters, all the cards and photos that people sent her in boxes.  Everything was categorized and labeled.

There is no way to talk about Grandma without mentioning dachshunds.  She loved those dogs. And over the years amassed a collection of dachshund memorabilia that you can not believe.  Two storage units full of dachshund stuff.  There are needlepoints that she worked on, postcards, jewelry, ceramic figurines, pretty much anything that can be made into the shape of a dachshund, she had.  There are copious notations for each as to provenance, dates, prices, value in today's market, etc.  She was a regular at all the antique fairs and knew all the dealers and they knew her.

My grandma was an extraordinary woman who survived divorce and living as a single mom back in the '40s and '50s when it was not nearly as common or accepted as it is now.  She herself was raised in the depression and knew the hardship of being poor and living on a farm and the hard work that entailed.  She raised her children to be honest, hardworking, educated and most of all honorable people.  I am proud to come from her stock.

This, of course, is not her real obituary.  This is just what I wanted to share here with any of you who care to read it.  I have been conspicuously absent and wanted to explain my absence and get these thoughts down.

I do know how lucky I am to have had a grandma for all these years.  I miss her greatly and am heartbroken that I won't see her again.