My Doula work

It surprised me when I realized I have not written anything about my being a birth doula. It is hard to even call it "work", it is more of a calling. Being a birth doula and doing my best and giving all I can for each of my clients is the most rewarding thing I have ever been paid to do. Funny how the best jobs are the ones that don't pay in $$ but in satisfaction.

I have been doing doula work for a long time but only in the last 4 years have I done the training and the hard work to get certified to perform my doula duties. (Gotta love that little turn of phrase! Doula Duties) Since then I have worked with dozens of moms and their babies. I remember each of them and hope that my memories of them don't fade too much with time.

One thing that strikes me is how on occasion I feel a huge "growth spurt" rather than a soft, gradual learning with each birth. Does that make sense? I have learned so much each and every labor. No one tells you that. No one explains how much you will gain by being there and witnessing each woman's struggle and strength to birth her child. Women are amazing. And it would really be nice if more of them would just trust themselves to instinctively birth the way their bodies were meant to. And it would be even nicer if they were given the support to do this from their birthing team, be they doctors, midwives, nurses, husbands, mothers, best friends or whoever. There are loads of well-meaning people in attendance who unknowingly undermine mom's intentions. I find that really sad when it happens and you can just see the mom's confidence disappear. Doesn't set her up for a successful beginning as a mother, does it?

Before this starts sounding all maudlin, what I want to do is list some things I have learned by being a doula.

1. I say this to each of my clients " If you don't know your choices/options, you have none"
Educated yourself!
2. A light touch is worth more than 100 words.
3. Women are amazing and stronger than they know.
4. I love men who cry at their child's birth.
5. The more I learn, the more I know about how much MORE I have to learn!
6. Having the right energy in the room lessens the pain and the fear, conversely a little of the wrong energy will just suck the confidence right out.
7. I love midwives and their dedication to their clients.
8. The range of care by ob/gyns is huge! Talk to your doctor and make sure you are both on the same page regarding the care you want and don't want.
9. Never assume anything. Make a birth plan but use it as an instructional, flexible guideline. Nothing is set in stone.
10. I say this to all my clients, too. Never in the course of all time has there ever been you, the mom-to-be and this baby about to be born, ever. We can make lots of plans and hypothesize about how the birth will go, but since you are unique we will go with the labor that nature gives us. Be flexible. Flexibility is the key to being a good parent, so let's start now.
11. The absolute best thing you can do for your child is to breastfeed. No question. There is too much evidence about the immediate and long-term benefits to both mom and baby for you not to work at it.

Eleven is a good number to stop at. I feel better having addressed this lack of posting. And I just want to say I love my clients. Each and every one of them.