Just feeling like a good rant

Okay, you know you've been waiting for it. Another rant from LisaPie. Yes, you have! Well sir, this is indeed your lucky day!

And you know the thing is, I don't have anything major to complain about. I have pretty good health. I live in a really good house. It has a roof, walls, flooring to walk around on and damn fine air-conditioned air to breathe, I mean what more could you ask for in a home? I have a great husband, 2 of the best kids there are and millions and millions of furry pets I get the privilege of caretaking.

But every once in a while . . . . . . It's those little things that get you, isn't it? That's what they say most divorces are about, all those little annoying habits that just build up and build up until you can't take it any more and swear if he breathes in and out loudly in that same manner one more time you are going to plug up his nostrils with carrots and choke the hell out of him. You know what I mean? I bet this is the same way most murders happen. You are rocking along like usual and there he goes insisting that whatever it is you want done can ONLY happen on the weekend, you will have to keep on waiting. Then the weekend rolls around and what happens? He is tired from the long busy week at work and says it will have to wait. So six months later you are sick and tired of being a shrew and demanding that someone else hold up their end of the responsibilities and the next thing you know there his triflin' ass is laying there on the floor and there you are with a cast iron skillet in your hand. Not that this has ever happened here at Chez LisaPie. But a girl does have daydreams . . . . . .

Sara, did you see what I did there? Did you see how I used "triflin'" in a sentence?

What was I about to go on about? Oh yes, ranting about small irritating annoyances.

So, here is a list of the small things, nothing huge like global warming or that moron that heckled President Obama in the senate the other night; just small things. Consider these like the small dog pecker gnats of annoyances, if you will.

1. People who call you and ask you who you are. If you called me, you obviously know who I am. If you don't then you must have a wrong number and it is none of your beeswax who I might be.

2. My insurance company calling me with a recording asking when was the last time I had a colonoscopy. Seriously, their computer has an interest in my colon?

3. People who can't put things back where they found them or where they belong regardless of where they found them. Put things away, people!!!

4. Husky Princess dogs who think they should eat garbage and cat litter. Gross, gross and I am sorry, g r o s s!!!!!

5. People who see A, B, C, D, and E all need to be done and when you ask for help will do step A and then walk off. That's just wrong.

6. And I hate to get back on the old topics but I am still bothered by a few phrases people keep using. I feel like they don't even know what they are saying but rather just repeating things others are saying. Little sheep/lemming behavior. These tired little chestnuts need to be dropped from usage immediately:

Conversate.
At the end of the day.
It is what it is.

These things make you look like an ass clown. Quit using them now!

Okay, I feel better. All off my chest and I am dusting myself off and going to go read a book and listen to the hoot owl outside my bedroom window. Whoo, hooo, hoooooooo, hoo.

Oh, and one more thing: remember The Colonel and the chainlink fence saga? Well, I have been trying all summer to come up with something awesome to plant along the fence so that I don't have to see it. And what I came up with was some beautiful fuschia bouganvillia. Sounds good, right? Well, this past week T.C.'s yard guy came and with T.C.'s supervision of course, he planted a bunch of fuschia bouganvillia on his side of the fence! So maybe I need something else? I am trying to decide if I want to put something like honeysuckle, jasmine, grapes, morning glories or loofahs all along the fence to vine up all over it or if I want to put my very own bouganvillias. Any opinions? Any ideas? Let me know!